I‘m going to post a few of your past reader comments over these last few days of April as a way of putting the X ray onto Lilith. I’ll do that for Y as well, and Z.  They will be short excerpts.

Jean Raffa: ‘Lilith seems to personify the risks one takes when choosing this path away from duality and conformity toward becoming oneself, or as Jung called it, individuation’.

Susan E. Schwartz: ‘When Lilith was banished she still exerted an influence. Even though turned into a negative figure, or they tried to distort her into this, she persisted. It speaks to the value of the one on the edge, the sidelines and the power they have nonetheless. It is a hard place to be’

Deborah Gregory: ‘Yes, I know ‘exile’ of the wild feminine well and resonate deeply as I wandered myself (allegorically) through T.S. Eliot’s Waste Land, alone, shunned, abandoning all my faith and hope … and yet without such a vexing experience I wouldn’t have felt the liberation and joy of ever entering the second half of my life. In pure synchronicity within the poem he writes, “April is the cruellest month.” ‘

Gwynn Rogers: Sadly, we see that mindset in parts of the Middle East and among some religions. Actually, if I think about it, women really have not been able to speak out for centuries.

Silvia (writes): ‘A woman (is) painted negatively enough by the patriarchy, so much so the image was ingrained in our psyche, damaging as it is to women in general’.

Deborah Weber: ‘ She may have been banished, but such treatment was never met with meekness. Brandishing righteous fire is how I love to think of Beloved Lilith, and all the courageous women embodying her spirit in our world’.

Elaine Mansfield: ‘My first philosophic teacher introduced me to the idea of daemon around 1970 as we studied Greek philosophy. He had a positive view of daemon as the inner voice that leads us in the right direction. I’ve held on to that and listened for that quiet voice. I’m always searching for a compassionate response to my demons who get out of control when I ignore their whispered needs. Who doesn’t know that sense that all possible demons have invaded and are running the show?’

LB: ‘As part of her journey, a conscious, self-aware, and intuitively tuned-in Lilith is capable of deep grief and profound remorse, and is far less likely to personally project or be exploited by opportunistic collective movements’… and in another post: ‘At her best, Lilith’s pain acts a catalyst for transforming personal suffering into empathy and compassion for others’. 

Genevive: ‘I think we must learn to acknowledge the demon, address it as it is part of our lives to be able to deal with it’

Susan E. Schwartz: ‘I always find it so intriguing that daimon is so close to demon. We all have to sit and let both seep into our souls and deal with them’… and again in another post ‘It seems the feminine is most pervasive in this story and her search is what brings consciousness. But we also need the relational balance of the masculine and that seems to be also what the myth is telling us’…

Thank you for reading and thank you for your comments!

W Wandering with Lilith & Eve

I was up early this morning attending to some matters I should’ve done last night. With a mug of hot tea as fortification I accomplished a fair bit. Then I went for a walk – I was in a bit of a day dream and found myself not taking my usual route – I wondered whether to turn back after a while, but I pressed on. It was refreshing. I soon removed my scarf.

While walking, I was wondering what to say in today’s W word for Lilith. She’s around the world in us in one way or the other, we have her in our astrological charts, lunar, her wounds, her strengths, her wildness, and I like that she spent time in the salty Red Sea – salt being one of the three primary alchemical elements, sulphur and mercury the other two. 2 Sundays back when we were at the Plettenberg Bay Nature Reserve I took this short video. My son did the necessary from my phone to put it in a drafts folder for my blog. So, I’m using it today – I like that these hippos were wallowing one moment above water, descending into it the next, not unlike Lilith –

A few women writers from earlier times have defended Eve and her actions. They write from their own perspective and experience and not from that of a patriarchal view. They may not have ‘known’ of Lilith –

Hildegard of Bingen (1098 -1179) was benign to Eve, seeing in her the woman who bestows divinity onto humanity and seeing in her the prefiguration of Mary. Pain in childbirth is not seen as inevitable or a curse. Rather, each time the Mother gives birth, the hidden God is revealed. By giving birth, God’s image is revealed in every child that is born. *

Christian de Pizan (1365 -1430) was disillusioned with the male humanists of the era who had a denigrating view of women. She argues that Eve was made in the image of God and that Adam & Eve’s souls were of equal value. Eve, she writes, since she was fashioned from the rib of Adam, shows that she should be at his side as a companion, not as a slave, and that a master craftsman’s hand must have been at work to make Eve out of Adam. **

Sarah Joseph Hale (1788-1879) contends that Adam needed assistance to cultivate his good qualities and ‘left to himself, his love becomes lust, patriotism (becomes) policy; and religion, idolatry. He is naturally selfish in his affections; and selfishness is the sin of depravity’.  Eve took the apple because of her ‘higher faculties of the mind, … desire for knowledge and wisdom,’ and that Adam ate with ‘compliance’, typical of a person of a ‘lower nature’ and motives no higher ‘than gratifying his sensuous inclinations’. ***

If Adam had not taken the apple that Eve offered, would he still be waiting for his supper?

* Pamela Norris: The Story of Eve

** de Pizan: The Book of the City of Ladies

***  SJ Hale: Womens Record

Thank you for reading! 

V Voice Lilith

It was 25 years ago when I flew down to Cape Town to be with my mother for her 80th birthday. Her cousin Naka Pillman had also travelled to be with us. Naka died last week a little short of her 99th birthday, so it is in honour of her that I’m writing this.

Naka was a larger than life character. A  world traveller, writer, artist, craftswoman, well known in her field and for her contribution to South African history. My mother was looking lovely, happy to have her family with her. Naka was dressed in her usual flamboyant style, wearing cloths from all around the world, bracelets and beads adorning her, wearing a bandana, her wild and curly hair that escaped framing her delicately boned face, her eyes as blue as cornflowers.

One of the stories she told us was of her then recent trip to India on her own. She rose early to go to the Taj Mahal. She said about the early pink gleaming light as she walked. She said that she went to the very top of the Taj. She was aware of the acoustics right at the top. Gripped by a sudden desire to sing, she asked her guide permission. No no he said, no singing. But she got her way, and sang Ave Maria. She said the air was filled with the sweetest sounds – and while singing, completely unexpectedly, she received an answer to a personal question that had been plaguing her for many years. The voice was clear and commanding … and on that she made her particular life decision …

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Your voices in the comments have made my soul sing, my heart and mind broadened in so many ways, I am so grateful. Thank you so much. You are all sages in our current times, a feminine energy sorely needed as counter-force.

*As sung by Celine Dion. Different renditions use different words. (The Latin is very particular)

Thank you for reading!

U Universality: Lilith

I took this photograph in Plettenberg Bay in October last year when I was there. It is a washed up log (still there, I saw it last week). From this angle I can see a creature on the right hand side, with an eye, with its fish tail ending in the middle on the left hand side, embracing the cave – maybe a slumbering serpent underneath –

Does Lilith represent a universal myth? Isn’t she just one of those stories from so long ago? The ‘herstory’ is not a pretty one; full of angst and drama, revenge, entanglement, diminishment, humiliation, unsound, flight and fights. Haven’t we got over these primitive ways of being already? Surely we are more civilised?

Civilisation – where and what has it brought us? 

What does rejection of the dark feminine really mean? All that hurt, pain, rage, loss and betrayal – is this really necessary for growth?

Do we keep it buried underground and uphold a veneer of calm in order to appear civilised, for fear that were it to emerge it would erupt into a volcano? I work at a doctor’s rooms on a regular basis as receptionist and managing other rooms things. A patient will come through to the reception area after seeing the doctor to book the operation either for herself or her child in tow. In discussing dates, times, procedures etc, she may say that she is very nervous if she is the one to have it. Of what I ask? Of being under anaesthetic, she responds. O I ask? Why? If I’m under anaesthetic she will say, I have no control. That is always interesting to me though for professional reasons I can’t ask any further much as I would like to. But I wonder what she thinks will happen if she is no longer ‘in control’. Or if she even wonders? Do we have a fear of not being ‘in control’ of our dark energies if we allowed them to emerge? The rage that we feel, the hurt, the anger, the unfairness, the grief –

How much have we all internalised and ‘normalised’ the patriarchal way of life? It goes so far back. It is evident in today’s society, so much harm being done. I remember the rape trial of the ex-president some years ago. The ANC Womens League turned up at the courts daily in their thousands, bussed in from far and wide in support of the then president. They shouted slogans at Fezekile Kuzwayo, known as Khwezi, who brought the rape charges against him, that she was a slut, a whore. The trial was ugly. Zuma’s lawyer, a male, brought in her earlier child rape experiences and concluded that as a 5 year old she must have been willing to have had sex with a man in his 30’s.

In war, rape, pillage, killing of innocents are seen as part of the spoils – collateral damage. The country that steps into a foreign one as an ally, sells weapons to the enemy at the same time. Highest bidder wins each time. Deals go on behind closed doors in the political power boardrooms, each angling for a way to be on top of the pile.

What is our arsenal?

Would the world be wiser and healthier if we brought feminine energy into our lives and became more conscious of the gifts she brings? If she spoke her truth, so too can we.

 Is there a way we can repair the wound to both men and women?

‘Love thy neighbour as thyself’:  This carries the ‘hidden’ assumption that we love ourselves, and therefore we can love our neighbour as ourself. And being ourself we love ourselves, because we are worthy. We have intrinsic value – each part of ourselves. And we can love the other as ourself. Not loving yourself means not loving your neighbour – is this one of the reasons that we project onto the other, and make it our enemy? To deny this love of self is also to deny compassion towards ourselves and therefore to others. Can the injunction, love thy neighbour as thyself, including the unknown stranger within, help towards healing ourselves and the world? 

Is this maybe our arsenal – that we are willing to go deeper into our lunar energy in reclaiming love and feminine wisdom?

Thank you for reading!

T: Trees – Lilith

We drove from Plettenberg Bay to the George International Airport last Friday to fly back home. This time en route I took photos of two road signs, which I meant to use in my last post. But, since I didn’t I’m using them now. The first one is a little shady – 

The Garden of Eden with its 2 trees: one in the centre the other fairly close by. The Tree of Life in the centre, at the juncture of the 4 rivers (Pishon, Gihon, the Tigris, Euphrates), the other The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, its lush fruits for the picking –

Why were they separated?

What to make of the Tree of Life? When Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, the Authority had angels and cherubim swoop down and place flaming swords guarding its path so that they could not make their exit from that Tree. They had to go the serpentine road out of Paradise – 

It is said that the reason for this is, now that their eyes were opened and ‘knowing’ good and evil that, had they taken the Tree of Life‘s path, they would have been immortal, and their sins and the sinners would be forever eternal, and never die. Forever living in an imperfect world – 

Eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and exiled from the Garden of Eden, gave them the opportunity to live in the world and act on their G.d given free-will, to use their discernment and ability to make choices between right and wrong. And maybe, in time, they would earn the right to return and to pluck from the Tree of Life – but, for the moment, it was taboo …

I’ve heard it said that in order to be truly alive, we need to carry within ourselves the seeds of our own destruction. Adam & Eve ingested the seeds which, while they had the potential for good, now also had the potential for evil.

Are we carriers of seeds of self-destruction? It would seem so, the way we’re hurtling towards an uncertain and unstable future. And the plundering of the planet, not recognising it for the treasure it is.

Lilith has taboos against her because of her being seen inter alia as wily, unclean and as a temptress. Yet, we often fail to see beyond this one-sided view of her, and fail to see the need to experience her in all her modalities and her transformative powers, if we can but recognise her also as a Light Bringer –

 I’m adding an excerpt from a comment that Elaine Mansfield made on my R post Re-imagining Lilith, today: “Pay close attention to what makes you mad. Watch anger because it’s a teacher. That forever changed my attitude about “negative” emotions. I don’t blast away with rage, but I watch what makes me angry and see if it’s asking me to act or asking me to reflect”.

Did Lilith speak a lying truth in her stating that ‘when you eat of it you shall be like G.d’? Surely this is blasphemous? Yet, it is from this extreme and deceptive statement that the drama begins. In the shaking of the foundations lies the salvation. Her creation was necessary to get Eve and Adam out of the Garden, to exercise their G.d given gift of free-will (such a deceptive gift), for the ego to emerge from its captivity into the world of mind and matter, man and nature, self and other ..

I see Lilith and Eve as two trailblazers whose innocence was sacrificed in order to bring a greater awareness of the meaning of knowledge of good and evil and thus to consciousness. Knowledge obtained is not necessarily happiness or power, but consciousness of sin. There are always consequences – it is not sometimes about how much is gained, as it is what is lost.

Thank you for reading!

S Serpent as Symbol: Lilith

There is no such thing as a neutral response to the serpent, at least for me. I remember as a young girl hopping gaily from rock to rock on the shore-line on my way home, when a snake slithered out from the shadows and crossed my path. I almost jumped out of my skin from fright and ran all the way home. That immediate experience of fear stays with me still – and yet, a life-time later, I write about her, have painted the ouroboros (the serpent with its tail in its mouth) from a dream, and continue to experience her in my daily life. Remembering also that Lilith is a light bringer –

The image above shows Hermes, the winged messenger and trickster. The two entwined serpents at the top end of his staff symbolise good and evil, health and sickness. The staff is rigid, straight and unyielding related therefore to the masculine, whereas the serpents coiled around it are flexible and yielding and therefore representative of the feminine principle. The image of staff and serpents illustrates the union of the opposites (masculine and feminine inter alia) contained therein.

Hippocrates, the father of western medicine (4000BC), is represented to this day as a healer carrying a staff, around which is wound the serpent. Aesculapius, the ancient Roman god of healing, is symbolised by two serpents, representing the principles of sickness and healing entwined around his staff. Serpents were also renowned for their ability to seek out healing herbs and plants for the treatment of illness in the human population.

Moses in the desert and his bronze serpent – an interesting paradoxical story –

While the Buddha was sitting under the Bo tree after his years of trials tribulations and travelling, now to receive his enlightenment, Mara sent down a bolt of lightning to strike him down dead. But, at that moment, the King of Serpents, the cobra, emerged from the shadows to offer the Buddha its hood for protection. That which is most low, is the very serpent that saves the Buddha.

That which can kill can also cure –

What has this to do with Lilith and our lives today?

The serpent sheds its skin, as we do too. We shed skins when we emerge from our various experiences of life events, all our stages and phases – baby hood to adulthood to old age and death. Marriage, divorce, grief, illness, joy, retrenchment, success – the list is endless. Each phase requires a stretching out and a shedding of a skin that no longer fits. Nature does this automatically, like the butterfly, emerging from its cocoon. We as humans need to work at it. Our old skin, or attitudes, beliefs, conditionings that no longer serve their function, need discarding, so that a new skin can grow to meet the requirements of an impermanent inner and outer world. We are sometimes loathe to shed our old skins, even if they do not fit. We are more familiar with our comfort zones – habit plays its part –

There are so many stories in the literature that tell of women’s harrowing descents into the underworld, scathed and scarred from the storms of sorrows they’ve endured, to return, transformed – Isis, Inanna, Penelope, Persephone, Demeter to mention a few –

‘Where there is sorrow, there is Holy Ground’ – Oscar Wilde

Lilith, her myth and symbolism, represents for me the serpent as the primordial feminine, as do other myths of this ilk, eternally emerging from the devouring darkness, renewing, shedding skins. Yet, by using the same energy as that of the darkness, she creates, more into her own being each step of the way –

The first two pictures are of the ouroboros, one a painting, the other a clay ‘fashioning’ from some while back.

This last one was using my left hand when my right hand was out of action ..

Can we look the hooded cobra in the eye?

Thank you for reading! Each time I promise myself I will keep these posts to 500 words or less – I fail each time –

R Re-Imagining Lilith

What do we really mean when we re-imagine Lilith? A woman who wanted creative communication and expression with Adam? A woman who was betrayed by both Lilith and G.d? A woman who returned to the Garden of Eden in order to tempt Eve to take the apple from the tree that was prohibited to her, in the guise of a serpent no less. Maybe she suspected that Adam would shun her again if she approached him; the risk in approaching Eve seemed a better one – another woman after all, with a certain receptivity – Were they both rebels? With or without a cause?

What was her politic? Was she standing up for herself? Did Lilith choose wandering in the wilderness as a preferred way of life to one of subjugation? Did she want to right the wrong of her expulsion and repression done to her by rising after her long and arduous reflection in the Red Sea? Could Eve’s eyes be opened so that she would not suffer a similar fate – that of having no choice? What did the seeds  of the apple represent that Eve took, bit and chewed and swallowed? Were those seeds of potential? Another way of life, of growth, one away from dependency where all their needs were met and choice of self-determination was not a possibility? Was Lilith offering a natural instinctual gift from nature? Did she sense that Eve, like her, may well have had a sense of being weighed down in this patriarchal atmosphere, with little chance of becoming her own person? Did she have an instinctual knowing that Eve would never be free to meet her own feminine ego had she remained stuck in the status quo?

There are many modalities of Lilith that we experience within ourselves. Her dark and light side, her manic and depressive moods, her sinner and saint qualities, her strengths and vulnerabilities, her wildness and her conformity. Her capacity for love and fear, for interdependence and independence. We may be inclined to call one side positive and the other negative, but this is a value judgment. The opposing polarities belong together and each requires the other for its wholeness. If we consciously bring her out of the shadows, we will be more whole and thus empowered.

We have every right to fear the darkness of Lilith and her rage, but rage has meaning and purpose. Highly charged emotions have a vibrational pattern; they are valuable in that they disturb us – they are meant to. They help to illuminate and elucidate those highly charged feelings and emotions that lie festering in the dark, and to bring them out into the open. The darkest corner of our souls is where the hardest work needs to be done. That which was rejected and repressed will become the corner stone. Psalms 118 vs 22: ‘The stone which the builders rejected has become the corner stone’. I like to think of the feminine principle, repressed and rejected for aeons, being resurrected and finally and taking its rightful place.

Thank you for reading!

Q: Quest, Lilith

 Quo Vadis: ‘whither goest thou?’ – Peter’s question to Christ –

In yesterday’s P post, two commenters Andrea and LB wondered if there was too much talking *about* Lilith instead of having a conversation *with* her in order to better connect with her ‘vital vein’ of feminine energies. So, I’m going to write of an experience of mine about 4 or 5 years ago. The small group I was in at the time met once a month and we took turns at being facilitators.

The facilitator provided crayons, pen and paper and gave us 20 minutes to write or draw or whatever we felt like doing and thereafter discussing it. I lightly shaded 3/4 of the A4 paper with a black crayon and drew a shadowy outline of the Black Madonna over the shading. I added a rough sketch of a fountain to the side of her that had crystal clear sparkling water. I had a dialogue with this Goddess.

This is what I wrote:

“Black Madonna, Lilith, Isis, Hecate all in the dense forest. There is no clear cut path.

“Me: O divine Goddess! So far yet so near! Beckoning –

“Black Madonna: ‘Do not be afraid my child. Enter into the mystery. Know your womanhood and be joyous in it.

“Me: I’m not sure I know you my lady, or I have forgotten.

“BM: Merely forgotten my child, but enter and you can reclaim me – and yourself.

“Me: But it looks so dark and shadowy where you are, my Black Madonna. I’m afraid I will get lost and not find my way back again.

“BM: By being lost you will be found. It is always like that. I know you have always reached for the heights. The way to the heights is through the depths. Into the dark cavern of your soul. When you go there, you will shine a light on the darkness, and the darkness will begin to fade. I am the feminine principle, and with your help my child, by being in touch with your own soul, we will bring balance into the world and ease the suffering of both men and women. Come now and quench your thirst and drink of this crystal clear water”.

Over the next several days and weeks I spent a little while journaling on this, even though my resistance to this was strong. The image was powerful but I knew to not fixate on it. If anything, it pointed to something beyond. It demanded my attention and further exploration. Some sort of juncture maybe, a little bit of consciousness coming to the fore. Matters of soul importance came into clearer focus somehow. Similarly with dreams –

I feel very strongly the value of restoring, re-gaining, re-member-ing, re-cognising our lost Ladies of the Night, out of sight somehow, in the pregnant darkness where the soul resides, yet waiting patiently in the shadows, waiting to be reclaimed – to come towards the Light – and to be seen –

I feel very strongly about Lilith, a companion to me who encourages me to be braver and speak my truth. I feel the urgency of the restoration of the deep abiding feminine principle, if only to myself. But also with the hope that both male and feminine energies can be integrated and co-exist. For the betterment of ourselves and our beautiful planet. So, with my unconscious complexes in hand and always asking questions, yet with no expectation that there is an answer, I pay attention to my life and what is going on innerly – and outerly. And sometimes I just be –

Thank you for reading! I really appreciate your coming by and leaving comments. More than I can say – 

Path, Patience, Process: Lilith

Isaac Asimov: In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmating –

Lilith’s path was arduous, tricky, fraught with peril. I’ve written before about her polarities. Her courageous act of rebellion against the patriarchal status quo set in motion far reaching consequences, of which we are only newly aware. She also represents the negative aspects of the feminine. Erich Neumann* lists Lilith among the ‘alluring and seductive figures of fatal enchantment’. Further on he writes: ‘She is an enchanting, seducing, orgiastic, and nightmarish form of the feminine’. To this day in traditional orthodox  Jewish marriages, the bride wears an amulet to protect her marriage and babies from her awesome powers.

It is as well to be aware of her demonic powers. I’m aware of those who’ve crossed my path who possess that demon-like quality about them. I invoke the powers that be for protection – seductive they are, charming on the surface – it took me a long long while to figure this out and to wonder what the hook was – ie what was my certain own role in this –

Paradoxically, she was also a woman of courage and depth, powerful energy and patience. Even though she was in deep pain at her plight in the Red Sea, through patience and processing all that had happened to her, she was able to transform, and arise again. She shows that striving for consciousness is a worthwhile task, even if it meant living in exile. Her energy was not a polite energy; it was the sort that was used by women in order to get the vote, to ban passbooks and to demand justice for rape victims. And today, those who stand against pipe-lines, march for better gun-control, better education, against corrupt policies, against pollution – 

Do some of us mask the inner pain we may feel? At events, psychological, physical, emotional pain? Do we disallow it? Although it can be paralysing, they are messages that need our conscious attention.

The Lilith myth of pain, peril and pilgrimage is alive in us today even if as a phantom lurking in the shadows. We are on a path. It has twists and turns, each day, each moment we select this one and not that. We are limited and expanded at the same time. One moment we are private, passive, personal and protected and then at another, public and seen. One enhances the other. The path alters, we prefer one over the other. The path defines us as much as we do it. In a way it is a relief to narrow the choices and be a specialist.

The photos below show me on my path on Robberg yesterday. We took the ‘no entrance’ way. The road less taken. Backwards. To avoid the tides. The first one is all good and pleasant, we’d reached about a quarter of the way, going downhill. The last two, well it was downhill symbolically all the way, while creeping upwards. My scarf is wrapped around my head. I thought it would never end. I like the last photo of my husband’s extended hand. I’m still processing our taking the wrong ‘path’ yesterday – 

* Erich Neumann: the Great Mother (Princeton University Press, Bollingen Series, 1972).

Thank you for reading!

Opposition & Ordeal Lilith

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

The Commonwealth Games are taking place in the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia. One of our athletes, Caster Semenya continues to do us proud in her running races. Some years ago when she was winning races, there were questions raised by men and women about her being too manly and claims that she was not a woman. For a long time, she was subjected to medical examinations to determine whether she had a vagina or had undergone surgery to pass off as a woman, or had been taking drugs to suppress her testosterone levels and to increase her oestrogen. It was simply awful to imagine how she endured. Seeing her up on the podium last evening after winning the 800 metre race, and the gold medal placed around her neck, made me feel so proud. Her smile was so endearing. A little shy, a little coy –

Like Semenya, Lilith’s energetic force arose as a result of opposition and suppression. Her spirit was broken but not indefinitely. If we bathe her, wash and cleanse her with our tears she will be redeemed and transformed. We need to cleanse her from the socially conditioned and condoned guilt that we have taken it upon ourselves to suffer. Can we reach deep inside ourselves and connect to the core of our sadness, anger and wounding and allow healing to take place, so the divine feminine is restored? Can we orient and open ourselves in a different more life-affirming way?

My husband, son and I went on a major hike on the Robberg Peninsula today. Instead of walking the usual route, we went in the opposite direction, so’s to avoid the tides. Somehow we took a wrong turn. It was up and down, clambering over rocks. My legs got trembly. I wanted to call the National Sea Rescue Institute to lift me off the peninsula. What was interesting to me, was that when there was level ground (not often), I scampered along quite happily on my own. But when Neil & and Mike were with me, I stumbled. I wondered what this meant. Some ingrained wiring? Needing to be rescued? I really thought about this – I also knew that I didn’t want to be dependent and hold them back. My balance was off, in part because of an otological inner ear problem. But as the afternoon wore on and the sun beat down, my legs got more and more trembly, and all I wanted to do was sit and sleep. Which I did a few times for a few moments. It was surreal. Young, lithe hikers came by and offered their water which Neil and Mike poured over my head to revive me. Onwards, upwards, downwards – they were so patient in helping me. I was utterly powerless. I couldn’t have managed this ordeal without their masculine energy, not only of masculine strength, but of care and concern. For me, this has been an opening to myself – though I still have to digest it all. 5 and a half hours later, the end was in sight.

Marion Woodman –“As consciousness develops, the body will act as donkey for only so long. Men as much as women need to know that their soul is grounded in their own loving matter. ‘This is who I am. Every cell in my body tells me this is of value to me – not to my persona, to me.’ That is the container whose feeling can be trusted because it is grounded in reality.” 

Thank you for reading!

N – Nature, Narrative and New Moon: Lilith

I’ve yet to see the new moon, maybe later tonight if the skies are clear.

What is it about a new moon? I think of many things, the dark invisible side of the moon, slowly coming to its fullness. Following its natural cycles of ebb and flow, light and dark. From the nigredo to the albedo – not only in the moon cycle but for all men and women, who go through the night of the nigredo (blackness – the dark night of the soul) and who seek wholeness within and peace without.

Is it time to set a new narrative for Lilith and free her from the negative connotations attributed to her? Yes, she does own many of those nasty qualities e.g. overly aggressive, secretiveness, deceit, addictions, flightiness, as do we all, men and women. We have blind spots to those qualities in ourselves, seeing them more readily in others.

How much are we conditioned by the Thou shalt Not commands? By our parents, schools, colleges, religious organisations? What of the natural needs of Lilith, her need to experiment more in the Garden instead of living in a sort of narcissistic langour? There was no room for negotiation or discussion. Her needs, especially those of her bodily and sensual ones, were distrusted and disregarded and just as worse, repressed. Anything that is repressed into the deepest layers of one’s psyche is in danger of erupting at a moment’s notice, like a volcano, spreading poisonous lava and gases in its path. Is it any wonder that an insensitive, thoughtless remark, made by that man or woman, touches a deep nerve within us and we explode in fury, our response seemingly inappropriate to the event?  Also, we are so numbed by political events and their nefarious agendas and the cruelty of our world that we are in danger of turning to stone –

If we can sit awhile with those painful feelings, even if we feel momentarily like wringing our child’s neck for breaking yet another glass, for having a temper tantrum, or we fantasise about setting the breaks to fail on the car of person who stole our partner and wishing ill upon the partner too, these are real feelings and these impulses are a natural expression of the life force. They do not have to be acted upon. It requires a conscious suffering, much like Lilith in the depths of the Red Sea, for a newer more constructive re-orientation.

Mother Nature – we spent a few hours yesterday afternoon at the Plettenberg Bay Nature Reserve a little way away. We were thrilled to see lion, cheetah, buffalo, giraffe, elephants, and much more – below is a brief video clip of those magnificent matriarchs – Nature is never narrow, always enriching …

May the new moon tonight herald new growth and nurturing.

Thank you for reading!

M Lilith as Metaphor 

 Nietzsche called truth “a mobile army of metaphors”.

As I write, I’m aware of the strikes by the UK, US and France into Syria, to mitigate against the use of chemical weapons Syria is believed to have used, such strikes to act as a deterrent. My thoughts and prayers are with us all.

The lotus, whose original home is as a seed in the mud, blossoms when its time is right. It rises to her full expansive flowering, floating upon the waters of the lakes and rivers (hopefully pristine), petals turned up, basking in the sun in the light of day, before she folds herself to rest in the ‘curtain of night’ – to another unfolding the following day – 

I like viewing and experiencing Lilith metaphorically. Like the lotus, Lilith burst forth into the world, from dust and ashes, from the same clay at the same time as Adam. I like to see her a seed, containing all potential, germinating, like the fully fledged tree is contained in the acorn. Its beginnings follow a natural effort – it’s shells to be pierced and shattered and to burst forth to allow its further growth –

Sometimes the soil in which it grows is dry and arid; sometimes fertile and receptive. I see the metaphor in our everyday lives as well. Sometimes the seed grows stunted and withers away or gets struck down midway, earlier or later in its growth, maybe to be revived and renewed when attended to and fertilised with tender loving care …

Like the moon, Lilith waxes and wanes. We also experience those cycles of light and dark, fullness and emptiness, brightness and dimness, visibility and visibility. 

Lilith means both ‘light’ and ‘night’. Her associations with the moon has associations with the feminine. Sometimes soft and diffuse, sometimes reflective, sometimes non-reflective emitting no light, sometimes metaphorically experienced in raging seas and storms –.

Lilith’s emotions were highly charged and they still are. Many times our woundedness is insufficiently differentiated or clarified and we don’t take the time and hard work involved in digging to its source. We experience her in our everyday lives when she acts out her woundedness by eg affairs, spending wildly, ongoing dramas, addictions, being mean and nasty, over-or-under-eating, being stuck in the mud, or a stick in the mud…

The primordial feminine very often appears as a monstrous serpent. She appears in our dreams as a deformed creature, a tidal wave about to envelop us, a car smash, a stranger holding a knife to our throats. She is part of us. 

Yet it is out of that devouring festering darkness that this energy can be transformed. The energy that has been used in blocking emotions and keeping things hidden and avoided, can be released and freed in order to use it constructively, in a life-affirming way. Lilith and the feminine are ‘…open to – and able to integrate – woundedness, pain, and ugliness, as well as joy and beauty’.*

What other force is there greater than the moon that pulls the oceans from shore to shore? Its force is less diffuse, less direct, less definite, yet no less powerful. What a lovely metaphor for Lilith – 

*Edward C. Whitmont, Return of the Goddess Arkana 1982 pg 197

Thank you for reading! I really appreciate your comments. My perspective is widened and I feel engaged.

L Lilith – 

 Lilith, the bringer of Light – into the darkness. I liken her to the leviathan that dwells in the deep dark sea, unseen, hidden yet there.

What loss Lilith must have felt when she was thrown out of Paradise, of all that was pleasant and good, until a lethargy began to set in her relationship with Adam and which she questioned. What loss we all feel at times when personal tragedy strikes. Earthquakes on the inner level. We feel the aching loss of Mother Nature too, when the natural cycles are disrupted by flooding, drought and fires and too often by those in power’s lust for more and more. Our link to her deep rhythmic cycles are broken – and our natural instincts are greatly lessened. This is true for both men and women …

Do we have a universal longing to return to the containment of love being given and returned? Do we sense a disillusionment with ourselves and our lives and the way of the world? Are we so lethargic because we feel powerless? Do we have to pay a price if peace or balance or harmony is ever be achieved? What is that price? I’ll hopefully elaborate on that in a later post.

Legend tells that when Adam and Eve departed in shame from the Garden of Eden, Adam had his arm around Eve, trying to comfort her in her weeping and loss. Lilies sprang up from the ground where her tears fell. Lilies often adorn the caskets of the dead and can be part of the floral arrangements in places of worship where the dead are laid to rest ..

I wonder sometimes if Adam mourned the loss of Lilith, and whether men and woman currently do too. I wonder if he considered her dark chthonic powers and whether that energy that they had between them could have been turned into something more loving and compassionate. Maybe it’s a reasonable hypothesis that he saw Lilith as someone to be tamed and lulled into how he wanted her to be, much like mankind has an agenda to tame nature and make it subservient to his needs – and how much as women we collude in trying to live up to a false ideal –

The picture above is one I took several months ago at night. It’s from my garden – a little solar lamp standing in the middle of some plants. It really is small, the lamp that is, but I love how it casts its glow – may your inner lamp glow and lessen the shadows..

Thank you for reading!

     K: Keys, Knots, Knowledge: Lilith

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
Elaine Pagels, Insights from the Secret Teachings of Jesus: The Gospel of Thomas

Keys are used to close and unlock, to open or close. If, for a door to open, will we step inside to what lies beyond even if we do not know what is there? Or do we lock that door forever? We are keyed up when life does not go the way it is planned, and tie ourselves into knots.

Lilith evokes many reactions, not least dismissing her with disdain as not real, merely a tale from the past that has sweet nothing to do with us. We’ve moved on, it’s gone, old news, old hat, we’re getting on with our lives, no time for this mad, bad and sad woman who took newly born babies from their suckling mothers, robbed men of their powers of logic with her sensuous charms inter alia and blasphemed against G.d.

 The past very much informs the present – and the future. The knots we’ve made, knowingly or unknowingly, are hard to untie when we deny our past. The wounds that women and men have suffered are real. Not only humans but our planet is suffering and is in grave danger. How is it that our seas and river are clogged with plastic and are seriously threatened; as are the rich and beautiful coral homes to fish and other sea creatures, a delight to those who swim close by; to lands that are grabbed, forcing people off them in order to lay pipe lines that break and leak, pumping its toxic effluence into the soil, rivers and sea in search of more affluence for the few. The war machine ever present –

The wounds to Great Mother Nature, are plain to see.

The wounds that Lilith suffered, may not be the same as those we have and conceal today. Our journeys may be quite unlike hers, but suffer them she did, refusing to be a scape-goat.

The wounds we humans suffer and hide are in plain sight. Is depression and anxiety prevalent in the western world? Do we feed the fraternity of pharma, unthinking, uncaring as they appear to be? Like other ‘big brothers’ – Could depression in part be because of baggage we still carry from the past – our parents’ un-lived lives – and we live lives of quiet desperation? Because we are not living a life of our own self-expression? This is not to diminish those who suffer from deep life destroying depression – it is very real and I am witness to it in a family member. Pharmaceuticals would be absolutely necessary. I do not walk in those shoes, so I can only imagine … and empathise … 

What lies behind that door? Will we take the risk of using one or two of available keys to unlock it? And step beyond the boundary?

Thank you for reading!