Anniversaries, a Delicate Balance

So much has been happening in this last while I hardly know where to start. Like many of us, I feel overwhelmed by all that is happening around the world. Overwhelmed to the point of feeling shut down, a tank that has run out of fuel, a brain that barely seems to function, a chest that feels closed and clogged.

I usually take a photo or two of the full moon when she appears, and last month’s full moon seems like just the other day. But this one I took last Sunday night, with Jupiter close by. Jupiter is the speck on the upper right hand side of the moon. Ah Jupiter -The symbol for Jupiter is said to represent a hieroglyph of the eagle, Jove’s bird, or to be the initial letter of Zeus with a line drawn through it to indicate its abbreviation.

I’ve been in Johannesburg for the last several weeks and am flying down to Plettenberg Bay tomorrow. Which happens to be the anniversary of my car accident 6 years ago on 20th June when Jupiter, also known as Zeus, sent a thunderbolt down from the sky onto me, and 6 years (on 21st June, the day after) since we moved into our lovely townhouse. All I have to do is uber to the airport on tomorrow morning. Invariably on the 20th June over the last 5 years (ubering this time round), I ride past the scene of my accident and acknowledge yet again how transient life is, and send a thought into the stratosphere of gratitude, that in spite of Zeus’ thunderbolt of my car being smashed into and overturned and a total write off, I survived.

And of course Friday 21st June is the solstice, the longest night of the year here in the southern hemisphere, the shortest night in the northern hemisphere. It is also the anniversary of moving to the townhouse 6 years ago, that date especially chosen by me and because there was a full moon to boot. But this also a moment I acknowledge, a moment when things stand still for a nano second. A delicate balance for that one moment before the tilting begins. And always the hope that the tilting brings renewal in its movement and orbit.

I’m much looking to seeing my sons and husband on Thursday. Mike my older son has just arrived back from France attending an international animation congress and David the younger will also be there ex Cape Town with his lovely wife Jüte. My husband has been on his own, dealing with maintenance – and also golfing to his heart’s content. I just heard he’s bought a scooter …

In amongst all the drama in my country, there are moments when I feel my heart swelling and my blood corpuscles expanding. It’s the smile from a stranger, a helpful and friendly shop assistant, a man who runs after me with my sunglasses in hand, a car guard who shows you the perfect parking spot, a major antiviral medication to help my flu and being able to afford it, all the willing NGO’s and individuals who do so much to alleviate the suffering of the poor and unemployed, our commissions of enquiry into state capture that aim with complete dedication, to bring about the truth of corruption in the higher echelons – all of which brings a delicate balance to the turbulence.

I like very much what someone said to me the other day when I questioned him about accepting a top position at one of our SOE’s. He said ‘in crises, I see opportunities’. He’s from abroad and already loves this country and its people –

I wonder sometimes if we may have a re-enactment of Caesar and Brutus. There is so much skullduggery going on in the inner circle of our newly elected president who nevertheless portrays a man in charge of things and who inspires confidence, in spite of it all. I can’t help smiling when I see him on TV interacting with ordinary people with his broad smile and twinkle in his eye even though he looks tired –

And in spite of the freezing winter weather, my orchids are blooming –

This last is a music video made by thekiffness. Do watch it, it’s fun. It’s a heart-melt. A road trip from Cape Town to Port Elizabeth, some 840 kms to fetch Nomi’s ailing mother in Addo and bring her to Cape Town. His aim of R10,000 for Nomi’s mother for gas heater and wheelchair was reached in a matter of hours.

thekiffness: ‘Some info if you’d like to share with your friends ❤ Hi guys, I made a song for my very legendary domestic worker Nomi. 

She’s had a rough few years, so I made this song & video after her in the hopes of raising some money for her. All the streaming royalties made from the song are going to her & I’ve also set up a Back a Buddy if anyone would like to make a donation. here:

May you awaken to the mystery of being here
and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.
May you have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon.
May you respond to the call of your gift and find the courage to follow its path.
May the flame of anger free you from falsity.
May warmth of heart keep your presence aflame and may anxiety never linger about you.
May your outer dignity mirror an inner dignity of soul.
May you take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention.
May you be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul.
May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.

– John O’Donohue

Thank you for reading! May your centre hold –



41 Comments on Anniversaries, a delicate balance

  1. Hi Susan, I cannot imagine going through a terrible accident. Thank you for sharing the moments that help your heart swell. A good reminder how very precious our days are. Enjoy the family time. It always nurtures my soul:). Erica

    • Hi Erica, thanks for coming by, We’re having very special family time right now down at the sea … both sons are here, my older one in his own home, my younger one and his wife at his wife’s parents home in Plettenberg Bay,. They come by for tea and an occasional supper. It;s all very relaxed and lovely and soul making 🙂

  2. May each year as you move further away from your accident be better than the last, Susan.
    My very good friend had a very serious car accident on my birthday (18 June) twenty-seven years ago. We thought we’d lost her. Fortunately, she survived and we continue to celebrate our friendship, on a day we now share. She makes a very positive contribution to our world, as do you. A wonderful reason for being.
    Loved the video. Kiffness – I like it. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks Norah – they serve only as timely reminders of the transience of life, gratitude that I wasn;t written off, patience in the healing of my damaged hand, and that the numbness when it gave way to pain, meant that healing was on its way. So, some valuable lessons along the way ..

      That’s quite something your girlfriend having a serious accident on your birthday I’m June 12th btw, and happy birthday to you for the 18th – and lovely to celebrate with her on your auspicious day and her auspicious survival of her accident …

      Glad you loved thekiffness video 🙂 he’s my son – 🙂

      • Wow! Your son. Did I miss that in the post? What an amazing young man. You are rightly proud of him.
        Happy birthday to you for the twelfth. We are twin Geminis. 🙂
        We call the 18th my birthday and my friend’s life day. 🙂

  3. Somehow I missed this post when it came out. Today is summer solstice and by now you have seen your husband and sons. I wonder if you’ll get a scooter ride – ha!

    I too feel very conflicted these days with the swirl of politics and now a provocation from Iran this week. My centre will hold only if I remain steadfast and anchored to the Rock. Blessings to you, Susan!

    • Marian ~ Like you and Susan, I’m also troubled by what’s going on in our world.

      Based on the wording of you comment, specifically your mention of “provocation from Iran”, I wonder if you’d be willing to consider other perspectives on all this? Perspectives that look more deeply and broadly at the situation and which explore details and context left out of most mainstream reporting. If so, you’d find a wealth of information on, a website that receives a “HIGH” rating for factual accuracy from Media Bias/Fact Check. .

      Among other worthwhile posts appearing on Counterpunch today, I’d suggest “Eve of Destruction: Iran Strikes Back” by Jim Kavanagh, and “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran” by Howard Lisnoff. Both include facts and details most people probably aren’t aware of.


      Susan ~ Rather than leave a separate comment, I figured you read them all and so combined my response to Marian with my comment addressed to you . . . hope that’s okay.

      I understand how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by the pointlessness of this world and the mass insanity which seems to affect so many ‘good’ people. Ever read Leo Tolstoy’s “Confession”? His existential crisis eventually led him to embrace a much different way of living ~ as a non-violent, Christian ‘anarchist’. Which basically meant he no longer placed his faith in empire, or the church, or the world of politics as legitimate authorities. Instead, he turned inward and found guidance from another source.

      Enjoy your time with family. There’s joy to be found in living a small, simple life and in treating others with the same kindness and compassion we’d hope to receive. Take care.

      • Thanks for coming by LB. I had a quick look at to check out the headings. There’s always way more to the story than the news would have us know. One of our tasks in life is to break away from the conditioning that we’re all subject to and be prepared to be disillusioned by state and empire, parents and institutions, and our naive trust in such …

        No I havern’t read Tolstoy’s Confession – I can imagine how valuable it is.

  4. I’m so glad you had the response to Nomi that you did Merril – isn’t she lovely! I guess the accident date will always stick out for me, definitely because of iit happening the day before the solstice, full moon and the day before our moving … and all of what I said in my post. Though I didn’t mention it, I had to be patient in the healing post accident – ‘learning’ patience was a lesson in itself –

  5. I sometimes think I’m the only person who knows that the center has to hold if this world is to remain intact. I’m so pleased to read your thoughts on it. I also like the line: “May the flame of anger free you from falsity.” So much I need to accept and rejoice in that thought. As always, great ideas here. Thanks.

    • Thanks for coming by Ally Bean and sharing your thoughts on these strange times. I wonder all the time which way things are going to tip, world wide … and my stance on it all. I just hope that we each can keep our centres.

  6. Your words do my heart good. <3 This world of ours…
    Thank you so much for sharing John O’Donohue's piece too 🙂
    I loved all the hopeful positivity here. We've got this!

    Safe travels to you and yours. <3

  7. This is a challenging time. I wear my body armor daily now, instead of only occasionally. I often think of you, hoping all is safe and sound.

    • Thanks Jacqui for your concern – there are times when it seems like the wild west here. May your body armour keep you safe and hopefully it includes love and hope –

  8. It’s so wonderful to hear your news Susan although I’m sorry to hear how tired you are! I do wonder if our bodies, alongside our minds, remember and acknowledge anniversaries too in their own unique way. It’s interesting that you mention yesterday’s full moon and the planet Jupiter as I’ve spent this afternoon studying my new book “Saturn – A New Look at an Old Devil” by the amazing Jungian analyst and astrologer Liz Greene, with me digging out old horoscopes and my ( birth chart diagram. For me astrology, like the Tarot and dreams are wonderful divination tools when the soul and spirit call for deeper illumination.

    I hope your trip goes smoothly tomorrow and when you get to Plettenberg Bay it sounds like rest and recovery are the order of the day. I hope you’re feeling better soon and that your flu quickly passes. Oh, enjoy the fleeting balance of solstice and the joy of having your beloved family around you. I believe that by honouring ‘an attitude of gratitude’ we keep our spirits high and hearts full, despite the difficulties and struggles we endure, sometimes daily. It’s a great video and I really enjoyed the music too! If it’s our vibe that attracts our tribe, the Kiffness generate kindness! Thank you so much for sharing more of John O’Donohue’s divine and poetical words. Great end note! Love and light, Deborah.

    • Thanks Deborah so much! I should have motored down last week already but there was so much to do. So tomorrow by air and then back again, motoring early July. The sea air will no doubt do me a huge lot of good, though there is a wintry front moving in!

      I definitely know of Liz Greene and her excellent reputation … a psychologist friend of mine here in Johannesburg keeps me a little updated re the planets when we knows of my busyness of things here and what to be alert to and aware of! She actually did my chart after the accident and Zeus was clearly there, lurking until he struck!

      Thanks for the poetic words, ‘attitude of gratitude’ and ‘our vibe that attracts the tribe’ and linking the Kiffness with kindness … (I hope he sees this)! I agree the poem is wonderful. Love and Light to you too Deborah!

  9. Much as with my son’s techno music, I hear and love it. So much beauty and joy in Nomi and the scenes of her homeland and the cause. Thank you. I just shared it on FB. Now for a Twitter share.

    • I’m so glad you were able to see and hear it Elaine! It is quite lovely apart from a little bias of course (apart from his typo) .. and thank you so much for sharing it!

  10. Thanks for the catch-up. I notice how you travel which is something I do as infrequently as possible, but there are experiences out there and I need to visit my North Carolina son this summer, even if the weather is sticky and hot there.
    I love this wisdom: ‘in crises, I see opportunities’ and wonder why it’s so easy to forget and want to pull under a shell. Thanks, too, for the John O’Donohue blessing. I’ll try listening to the music, but my hearing isn’t quite ready for music although I enjoyed hearing a choir at a hospice community memorial last week. It’s the first time I’ve enjoyed music in many, many years. May Nomi and her mom get the support they need.

    • Thanks Elaine – I’m pretty bowled over by that short and simple statement as well. The John O’Donahue blessing is so apt. That’s wonderful that you heard choral music last week! May you hear the birds and bees, the butterflies and the wind too .. and may your Monarchs arrive soon –

  11. It is amazing what life throws at us! Your terrible car accident, the monstrous politicians, BUT then along comes something lovely like David’s music video with Nomi. Life doesn’t look so bleak any longer. Enjoy your family and your safe trip home. May the moon smile down on you! <3

    • It is a heart-melt isn’t it Gwynn! Thank you for coming by. May the moon smile on you too – and some lovely sun! Back in Johannesburg in early July – living between both worlds –

  12. Have a safe journey home, Susan. I didn’t know you had such a terrible accident. How fortunate you were. God often smiles on us. We were equally fortunate when we had a home invasion and no one was hurt.

    • Thanks for your good wishes Robbie. Still a bit of to-ing and fro-ing up ahead! Glad that your home invasion turned out OK – how sad that we have to say that …

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