My apologies for Tuesday and pushing publish instead of preview. This post is entirely refashioned and much of what was mistakenly published no longer appears, though I’m still focusing my attention on revolution – and chaos.

Last week my sons, husband and myself were having a quiet lunch on the balcony overlooking the sea. Mike asked me, do you have any new year resolutions ma? A dreaded question in its way. So I thought for a minute. I said no, not resolutions, maybe revolutions. (photo below is my husband who, while smiling, was actually a bit anxious about my stating revolutions, not resolutions).

Increasingly, ‘revolution’ has come up these last several days on social media and I’m pleased that the word revolution is coming more into conscious awareness. A revolution in our way of thinking and feeling, a way of looking beyond all the chaos that is happening in our world.

But what is chaos? Can we imagine it? Or re-imagine it? Can we trust chaos? Do we have to throw our hands up in despair? Can we suffer it thereby allowing it? Can we bear and endure it? Is chaos the other side of order, neither exclusive to each other?

I wish I’d noted the source at the time, but I didn’t. But the notion stuck firmly in my mind, i.e. that for there to be good or ‘worthwhile’ suffering, there has to be an allowing of suffering. Allow the suffering. Allow it. Which means I guess acceptance of it. It does no good surely, to turn aside from the real suffering of the world, the planet, its inhabitants, human and otherwise, plant and otherwise, above ground, below ground, ourselves. But suffering in the sense that I mean it is a way of acknowledging it, re-cognising it, and the suffering of it means that we allow our suffering to be real, deep, true, tragic –  we feel it at the core of our being –

Is chaos a necessity of order, and if so, can we then understand that there is the possibility of movement away from utter chaos? But surely it does not mean a great rush towards order which in itself can be suffocating? Chaos stirs things up adding flavour and vitality to order – who does not know the aftermath of peace and quiet of a violent storm or fire and feels blessed indeed when Mother Nature calms down; or the vitality on awakening after a deep and restful sleep; or even the vitality of a hectic dream, disturbing our sleep to be sure, yet knowing that the dream holds vital clues. 

I feel at the core of my being that the feminine energies are rising to take their place in the world. I suspect the clash of erstwhile masculine and patriarchal energies with all that is good about rising feminine energies also invites chaos to the process. That what has been rejected is no longer allowed invisibility. The wheel is turning, and what has been formerly seen as obstacles in restoring the feminine and all her energies, dark and light, can also be seen as the path.  The feminine energies call for our honouring of Mother Earth not for the mastery of her. The feminine energies of nurturance and care, protection of all that is sacred and mundane are present in men as well. There are so many obstacles on the way to the meeting of the feminine and masculine – but the obstacles are the path. Both the outward and inner world are frightening, awful, destructive, painful, confusing, overly uncertain. So for me, a revolution in my thinking and feeling is required if I am to allow what is. Can I use my experience of chaos in a revolutionary way, just sit with it and not run away from it? Can I suffer it, allow it, trust that chaos gives rise to order? Can I re-imagine chaos and re-cognise it? That’s my resolve, or my resolution .. I wonder if it will be a revelation –

We went walking down at the lagoon the other evening. It was indescribably beautiful.

Where did the year go? In a few days time it will be the solstice – longest day shortest night in the southern hemisphere, and shortest day longest night in the northern hemisphere.

on the same day as Hanukkah – the festival of lights –

and a few days after that, it’s Christmas, the miracle birth of Jesus –

and then it’s the new year –

I’ve deliberately chosen images that have no messages on them but they all show ‘light’ in one form or another.

But I do have some quotes relating to this time of year with the word ‘light’:

           ‘Both the Winter and the Summer Solstices are expressions of love. They show us the opposition of light and dark, expansion and contraction, that characterise our experiences in the Earth school so that we can recognise our options as we move through our lives’. Gary Zukav

“A candle is a small thing. But one candle can light another. And see how its own light increases, as a candle gives its flame to the other. You are such a light.” — Moshe Davis

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.  Psalm119:105 

People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Visuals

These last few months have been so busy – it’s hard to believe that we’re heading towards the end of October which means November is around the corner and, as we know, it’s then full steam ahead at a cracking pace for Christmas and New Year. I sometimes wonder if I’ll feel ‘settled’, maybe only February next year.

We vacated our townhouse in Johannesburg mid July so that new tenants could move in – and a few days after being in Plett, we kept to the booking we’d made at the De Hoop Nature Reserve. It was such a wonderful weekend –

We drove from Plettenberg Bay to Cape Town in early August so my husband could catch his flight from Cape Town to London and from there, after a few days of staying with friends, he flew to Edinburgh to join golfing friends. Thereafter he joined his sister from the US in Scotland and they handed over their great uncle’s medals to the Scottish Military Museum in Edinburgh.

On the drive to Cape Town, about 600 kms from Plett, we passed canola fields – there were fields upon fields of this gorgeous gold –

After getting my husband off, I hung around in Cape Town for a few days, staying with my sweet sister. I saw only two very special friends as well as my younger son and his lovely wife. This was the sky from my sister’s garden one evening. The photo IS the right way up – and that IS the moon in the centre –

I then hived off to Wellington (about an hour away from my sister’s home in Cape Town) where I stayed with my dear friend in her gorgeous home on a wine estate among the most magnificent mountains. We set off the next day, her husband doing the driving (so we could chat and I could look out the window and remember) for Stanford, a lovely little village some distance away and stayed overnight with her sister. We went up river the next day – and did some walking, saying hello to Sarah’s horses in a field that late afternoon.

A day or so later, after returning to Wellington, I set off for home in Plett driving on a route I was not very familiar with. The windiest of roads and the most magnificent scenery – I would have liked to stop, but I didn’t and took several photos while my car was in motion.This one doesn’t do it justice –

So, back home in Plett, on my own … valuable time. A friend flew down from Johannesburg and stayed here at my home, her husband a few days later for the weekend. It was lovely to show them Plett and surrounds … My husband returned at the end of August after an excellent time away, fit as a fiddle and full of stories.

September flew by … the equinox was a landmark, the days becoming longer. We ordered a bit of extra furniture, ordered new curtains & changed some things around. New built in bookcases were installed in my study. My left foot gave me grief for several weeks but it is now better.

But the shadows of September were long. Too many deaths of people I know. Sudden, tragic – too many aching hearts.

Earlier this month, we trekked again up to Johannesburg, this time staying for 2 nights at the Mountain Zebra Lodge in the Karoo en route. This is such a beautiful place -the photograph shows the evening light. There was very welcome rain the one night.

Then Johannesburg, staying in the most comfortable apartment given us by good friends. Oh, those spring colours –

We visited our tenants in the townhouse and it was a joy to see how beautifully Michelle had maintained our garden – an orchid I left behind, roses budding, everything lush and green glowing and those jacarandas over the garden wall were magnificent ..

A friend or two here and there, lunch and dinner, brunch and coffee, a bit of shopping looking for a slinky heeled sandal ..

Then off again, this time up to a game lodge in Madikwe, about 450 kms north of Jo’burg very close to the Botswana border. We’d been invited by our UK friends – we’ve been there before. The comforts, company and cuisine were excellent and the game viewing superb. We did early morning game drives, returning to the lodge for a slap up breakfast, and out again in the landrover at 4.30 returning around 7.00. 

Back to Johannesburg again to our very comfortable apartment, then full steam ahead for ‘The Wedding’ last Sat 12th October. There was a dinner last Thursday pre-wedding; wonderful to see old friends. The wedding service and reception is one that we’ll never forget – the photo below is of flowers at the entrance of the church.

We left Johannesburg last Sunday morning – there was a wedding brunch on Sunday, but we’d long decided to forgo that as we needed to get back to Plett. We overnighted in Graaf Reinet, about 850 south of Jo’burg. We went out for dinner in the town that evening. The photo immediately below is of the full moon rising over an historic building and the next one is of the main church, also very historic. I wish we’d had time to visit the Valley of Desolation – next time …

A deep breath for the both of us – we arrived back home in Plett this past Monday. Do all good things come to an end? No, I don’t think so … we set off again tomorrow morning. We’ll be staying with same friends in Wellington tomorrow night and on Saturday shooting over to Stellenbosch (about 3/4 hr away) to attend my sister and her husband’s birthday celebrations on a wine farm that day and night. Sunday is a very big day on our sports calendar … South Africa is playing Japan, the hosts for the World Cup Rugby this time round (every four years). It’s the quarter final … and there is NO WAY that we will be travelling on that day. They play around midday on Sunday. South Africa will be glued to their TV sets.

We’ll get back to Plett on Monday next week, either euphoric – or not –

 The last photo is of what was originally just a cutting of a small branch and tendrils, transplanted from Jo’burg and attached to a tree here in Plett in our garden a few months ago and I am thrilled to see how well it has flourished and bloomed.

This post is way longer than I imagined it would be.

May you all flourish and bloom even amidst these troubling times. May the Force be with you and thank you for reading.

Packing up is hard to do

Does order come from chaos as the Bible and quantum physics claim? Have we underestimated the magnitude of this relocation from Johannesburg down to Plettenberg Bay? Our lovely home down there is already furnished, but now that we are renting out our townhouse with furniture and all else to a corporate SOE, we have to remove our personal belongings, clothes, toiletries, books (mine are down there but my husband still has tooooo many of his here, including medical and golf books galore), too many boxes of photographs, files, paintings, my art stuff (much of it down there) and I don’t know what else – more stuff –

It’s too soon to panic or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. At least the appointment is made for professional carpet and tile cleaners to come by this Friday. We plan to drive down in our 2 cars with trailer in tow on Saturday. My husband is aghast at my wanting to take down my beautiful hanging orchid and at least one pot plant of my already blooming orchids.

What to keep, what to toss. An existential question for me. Already I’ve given away many clothes, shoes, kitchen stuff. Breaking up is hard to do – I’ve tossed photos of old boyfriends with a loving thought to them. No time for any reminiscing. I’m keeping letters and post cards from family and friends from when Moses was a boy; there’s no time for any reading of them now. It would take forever –

In among this all (and Wimbledon – my nerves), my lovely blogger friend Norah Colvin in Sydney Australia, has and is running a series on School Day reminiscences. It’s been so interesting to read these guest posts which appear on Sundays in which she interviews fellow bloggers from around the world on their memories of school days. My school memories went up on Sunday and can be read on her link below. The below photo is one I found of my sister and me which is not on Norah’s post & which I sent via what’s app to my sister in Cape Town while sorting photographs, which made her a bit weepy – I MUCH prefer her rounded collar –

https://norahcolvin.com/2019/07/07/school-days-reminiscences-of-susan-scott

Norah is a great proponent of early learning and especially reading – www.readilearn.com.au – learn.com.au – and her posts for parents and teachers are always excellent and innovative on this topic. Her web page is www.NorahColvin.com .com 

I’d better get on with it – thankfully Jane my housekeeper is here and will work for the new tenants a few days a week; and although our employer-employee relationship officially came to an end at the end of May, she’s being an enormous help right now in the cleaning of cupboards and much more –

Little by little, bit by bit, slowly we come to the end of it – 

To begin again.

Everything is pretty tumultuous around the world. Here as well. Plettenberg Bay where we’re heading to has recently seen several days of terrible protest action with some pretty darn revolting thuggery and destruction thrown in among the mess – may order reign everywhere and not a moment too soon.

Jean Raffa, author of beautiful books and Matrignosis: A blog about Inner Wisdom (rich and real soul food), blogged today on Susan E. Schwartz’s and my co-authored book, ‘Aging and Becoming ~ A Reflective Enquiry’ – it was a wonderful surprise to see this today!  https://jeanraffa.wordpress.com/2019/07/09/aging-and-becoming/ …

May the Force be with you and thank you for reading-

www.NorahColvin.com 

www.readilearn.com.au

Anniversaries, a Delicate Balance

So much has been happening in this last while I hardly know where to start. Like many of us, I feel overwhelmed by all that is happening around the world. Overwhelmed to the point of feeling shut down, a tank that has run out of fuel, a brain that barely seems to function, a chest that feels closed and clogged.

I usually take a photo or two of the full moon when she appears, and last month’s full moon seems like just the other day. But this one I took last Sunday night, with Jupiter close by. Jupiter is the speck on the upper right hand side of the moon. Ah Jupiter -The symbol for Jupiter is said to represent a hieroglyph of the eagle, Jove’s bird, or to be the initial letter of Zeus with a line drawn through it to indicate its abbreviation.

I’ve been in Johannesburg for the last several weeks and am flying down to Plettenberg Bay tomorrow. Which happens to be the anniversary of my car accident 6 years ago on 20th June when Jupiter, also known as Zeus, sent a thunderbolt down from the sky onto me, and 6 years (on 21st June, the day after) since we moved into our lovely townhouse. All I have to do is uber to the airport on tomorrow morning. Invariably on the 20th June over the last 5 years (ubering this time round), I ride past the scene of my accident and acknowledge yet again how transient life is, and send a thought into the stratosphere of gratitude, that in spite of Zeus’ thunderbolt of my car being smashed into and overturned and a total write off, I survived.

And of course Friday 21st June is the solstice, the longest night of the year here in the southern hemisphere, the shortest night in the northern hemisphere. It is also the anniversary of moving to the townhouse 6 years ago, that date especially chosen by me and because there was a full moon to boot. But this also a moment I acknowledge, a moment when things stand still for a nano second. A delicate balance for that one moment before the tilting begins. And always the hope that the tilting brings renewal in its movement and orbit.

I’m much looking to seeing my sons and husband on Thursday. Mike my older son has just arrived back from France attending an international animation congress and David the younger will also be there ex Cape Town with his lovely wife Jüte. My husband has been on his own, dealing with maintenance – and also golfing to his heart’s content. I just heard he’s bought a scooter …

In amongst all the drama in my country, there are moments when I feel my heart swelling and my blood corpuscles expanding. It’s the smile from a stranger, a helpful and friendly shop assistant, a man who runs after me with my sunglasses in hand, a car guard who shows you the perfect parking spot, a major antiviral medication to help my flu and being able to afford it, all the willing NGO’s and individuals who do so much to alleviate the suffering of the poor and unemployed, our commissions of enquiry into state capture that aim with complete dedication, to bring about the truth of corruption in the higher echelons – all of which brings a delicate balance to the turbulence.

I like very much what someone said to me the other day when I questioned him about accepting a top position at one of our SOE’s. He said ‘in crises, I see opportunities’. He’s from abroad and already loves this country and its people –

I wonder sometimes if we may have a re-enactment of Caesar and Brutus. There is so much skullduggery going on in the inner circle of our newly elected president who nevertheless portrays a man in charge of things and who inspires confidence, in spite of it all. I can’t help smiling when I see him on TV interacting with ordinary people with his broad smile and twinkle in his eye even though he looks tired –

And in spite of the freezing winter weather, my orchids are blooming –

This last is a music video made by thekiffness. Do watch it, it’s fun. It’s a heart-melt. A road trip from Cape Town to Port Elizabeth, some 840 kms to fetch Nomi’s ailing mother in Addo and bring her to Cape Town. His aim of R10,000 for Nomi’s mother for gas heater and wheelchair was reached in a matter of hours.

thekiffness: ‘Some info if you’d like to share with your friends Hi guys, I made a song for my very legendary domestic worker Nomi. 

She’s had a rough few years, so I made this song & video after her in the hopes of raising some money for her. All the streaming royalties made from the song are going to her & I’ve also set up a Back a Buddy if anyone would like to make a donation. https://youtu.be/Q8Mw-nibaVkStream here: bit.ly/KiffNomi

May you awaken to the mystery of being here
and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.
May you have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon.
May you respond to the call of your gift and find the courage to follow its path.
May the flame of anger free you from falsity.
May warmth of heart keep your presence aflame and may anxiety never linger about you.
May your outer dignity mirror an inner dignity of soul.
May you take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention.
May you be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul.
May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.