this and that

Sat 24th March

If any of you have visited my blog post in the last 2 weeks and seen nothing there then I can only apologise. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

It is strange perhaps, to consider *why* the procrastination … I speak for myself but I am coming to realise that it is oftentimes that which is most important to me, is the very thing that I do not attend to. The resistance on my side is great … the more important it is to me, the more I do not pay it its due or give it attention. It is almost a self-destructive act. Me against my own-self. Dear heavens.

I am so very keen to get a good blog going – one that serves me and serves you .. and there is a part of me that knows I have been procrastinating. Avoiding putting myself out there …

But procrastination has a purpose in some instances. It is like a cooking … a stewing … a simmering and a plotting and a planning even if a little haphazardly.. lying fallow for a bit and then a bit of a spurt of energy and writing some thoughts down and making other connections – but still resisting in some very real yet ineffable way.

The ‘why’ is always important. Sometimes the question is more important than the answer. The ‘why’ is always a philosophical question and as such is an endless debate, as it should be.

But it is the ‘what’ that is a question that needs to be answered first, before the ‘why’ … I have to ask myself *what *is the resistance to my getting a ‘good blog going’ and *what* does that resistance stand for … and then perhaps to seek the ‘why’ .. and attempt to get to the bottom of the complex for my own psychological health or health of my psyche asserting that this is task worth doing

Anyway, now I AM posting something. I want very much to get a serious blog going. Once a week. It is a task that I have set myself. It will be a two-fold possibly more approaches with a goal or goals in mind. It is a little too soon to explain any more at this stage. I have a lot of work to do in finding out EXACTLY how to go about this. I know nothing and don’t want to make unnecessary mistakes. I have quite a bit of useful info on my computer that I’ve received from various sources that I have not as yet looked at in any depth. I hope to collate all this information over the next several days and to use it professionally. I really hope that you will join me in this at a later stage …

I asked my son David if I could post something to my blog of his that I came across I think on his FaceBook as I thought his message and music was magical (and of course he is my son and I am proud of him …). He gave me permission so that is on my blog. I had such an interesting response to Davey’s ‘philosophical ramblings’ (that was the title he gave it) and music in an e mail from Gillian who lives in Durban. Gillian I would so like it if you would post what you said on this blog??

We are off to Plett tomorrow back next Saturday. This coming week will see me paying valuable attention to the construction of my blog and maybe web page – though I think the blog and web are already connected but I am not sure. Son Mike will help me this coming week …

I look forward to more soon.

philosophical ramblings

My son David posted the below on his Facebook Wall the other day and this is what I am posting as my blog for today.

Philosophical Ramblings by Dave on MARCH 10, 2012 in RANDOMNESS

Was playing guitar today, and I had a random thought: what if I was playing a G, but then the guitar decided to play an F instead? Like it just decided it’s not gonna obey the laws of physics and just do it’s own thing. It would be flippen crazy! Or if you dropped a pen, but then it decided it’s not going to obey gravity today, and just hover in mid air. MADNESS!

Imagine a world where there was no uniformity, where everything could just do what it wants. Imagine you could say ‘hmmm, screw gravity, today I’m flying Peter Pan style to freakin Japan!’ It would be flippen kiff!

Although it would be awesome to say ‘screw it’ to gravity and fly to Japan, imagine if everything and anything could do likewise… Chaos! Next thing you know there’s a train flying into your face. Imagine you’re playing a concert in front of thousands of people and your guitar decides it’s just gonna play random notes. NOT KIFF MAN, NOT KIFF. You’d have to be like ‘Sorry guys! Seems that the Law of Frequencies is acting up again. You all have comps to my next show.’

And then I thought, wow – the universe is pretty good at sticking to the laws of physics. As far as I know, these laws of nature have stood us in pretty good stead. I can pretty safely say that I can make a sandwich without fear of the butter knife flying randomly into my eye ball.

So I think it’s pretty safe to say that I don’t have a say in whether a pen will float or not if I drop it. It’s going to fall. Gravity has determined that already. But what I think is really interesting is that I DO have a say in what I say and do and that’s pretty awesome. I can choose to lie, or I can choose to tell the truth. I can choose what music I feel like making, or what sandwich I want to make. There’s no law called ‘The Law of Dave will eat a peanut butter sandwich on Saturday’. Screw that! I’m eating a strawberry jam sandwich today.

I do somehow feel that there is another law – a law of the heart, or a law of the spirit that we’re *meant* to follow. I think CS Lewis calls it ‘The Moral Law’. The difference is, we get to CHOOSE if we want to obey it or not! CRAZY! Although, it doesn’t seem so crazy, because people disobey ‘The Moral Law’ so often that it seems normal. What makes me so sure of this?

Well, the proof is in the pudding! The world is in freakin chaos! We might not have trains flying into our faces at random, but I think we can agree that there’s a lot of spiritual, mental, emotional chaos in the world today, and I think it’s as a result of people ‘breaking’ the laws of morality. And then I thought, wow – we’re pretty good at NOT sticking to the laws of morality.

I like to kiss random girls, I like to get drunk, I like looking at naked ladies, I like feeling really important, I like to talk behind peoples backs. I think part of me likes these things because they don’t stick to the laws of morality, in the same way I’d like to fly to Japan because it would disobey the laws of gravity. And then I wonder why my life’s a mess. It’s kiff for a while to ‘disobey’, but I know for a fact that it will come back to hit me in the face like a train that doesn’t want to obey gravity.

I really enjoy what the Bible says. Jeremiah 31:33 tunes that God will put His law in our minds and write it on our hearts. I think it’s so true because you don’t need to tell someone when they’re doing something wrong – they’ll already know it. You can tell by how people always try to cover something up if they’ve done something wrong, or how they’re unashamed if they’ve done something good. In Romans 8:2 it says that through the law of Jesus, the Spirit of life will set you free.

I could carry on but this post is already getting a bit long.

Thanks for reading!

Listen to this song I made to contemplate what you’ve just read.

(David’s song ‘Beatitude’ can be accessed by


Sunday 4th March.. I plan to change focus on ‘commitment’ and look at other topics eg ‘otherness’ and what this means to us – ie if otherness is too strange for us to comprehend and when it does not fit in with our world view or our upbringing or our socialization, we discard ‘the other’ and what does this really mean. Do we short-change ourselves by not broadening our worldview or is ‘otherness’ and discarding the other so entrenched in us that we cannot change. What does this mean? Does it mean a conscious effort on our part to embrace ‘otherness’ or at least come to a different view point by becoming more conscious?

“commitment ..”

my commitment this week is to decide about where to travel in May. Decisions decisions decisions. This is what commitment is in part about – making decisions. Which means that choices present themselves and from all alternatives, a choice has to be made. Which is turn means trying to take into account all sorts of considerations and possible future consequences. How much can I afford to spend on this trip in May? Is it ok to spend a large amount of money on myself? Well, the answer to that is not so difficult – I have the money and though I am inclined to be a bit reluctant to spend money on myself, I also know that that is self-limitimg thinking from which I need to break free. I am normally very cautious with money and I am pleased to have the particular attitude I do towards it. For me it is now or never with regard to taking an adventure with my friend Susan. She is from the States and I am here in Johannesburg South Africa. For each of us, a hunk of time away from our homes, travelling to somewhere neither has been before. Maybe we have given ourselves too many choices – Russia was a serious thought, Turkey also a serious thought, so too South America, and now Viet Nam presents itself. Does pressure help in coming to a decision? I think so. Unsure whether that is a good thing or not. Once we have decided on the destination, we will have to do much co-ordinating of flights, visas and who knows what else …

commitment ..

I met with Iain this evening who lives in my cottage on my property. I noted on his Facebook page several days ago that he had given up smoking. I asked him if was now a non-smoker and congratulations …

We had an interesting discussion about this .. how he achieved this. This was also of particular interest to me as I am a smoker ..

He explained his process – reading books, being in contact with websites devoted to helping smokers kick the habit, wearing patches. But there came a moment when the light bulb was switched on and all the chatter in his brain was switched off and it was an easy decision. He has been 2 months now of non-smoking. He realised that there was always a ‘longing’ for a cigarette and that that longing was in part a longing for something else and that it had been an habitual or habituated feeling for him. He changed focus and came to see that all that energy that was being expended in smoking, needed another focus. He was able to switch focus and now is able to ‘micro-manage’ his time and life better. He feels better, runs, swims, creates –

I said to him it seemed to me that he made a commitment to himself to give up the weed. And that he succeeded in keeping his commitment. He said he had been preparing all along by way of his reading about giving up, wearing nicotine patches, joining websites and re-iterated what he had already said above. And that he was encouraging others by way of a blog which he said he will send me.

I shared with him my recent experience of getting my book ‘out there’ as a free Kindle download this past week and all the angst and hiccups I had with regard to this. And my huge and very grateful surprise to see that MANY have downloaded my book. I managed somehow to get onto my own personal amazon account* last night *and only by fluke, and I could hardly believe that in excess of 500 people had downloaded my book. This was the hugest surprise. I had been so busy this past week with getting the info out, people coming to stay and a 100 other things were keeping me occupied with no time to think ”was anyone downloading my book?” I think in a sense I had no attachment to outcome, if only because there was no time to think about it. But I do think that I had made a commitment to myself to get my book out there – that this was an opportunity in spite of my aversion to being so public.

So, I have learned in a meaningful and personal way what commitment means and am gratified by this.

Of course, this does not mean to say that my free download will be read!! But I achieved something and for that I am grateful. I am glad of my commitment.


To commit, to make a commitment: a heavily laden concept.

I’ve just had an sms from my sweet sister in Cape Town who said in a word, that she is weeding. I responded to say ‘weed out all those negative thoughts and let the ego take a back seat. Work well … xx’.

I also took a stroll outside to my garden now in the lovely mid-morning sunshine, walked down to the end of it and looked at my secret garden that I fashioned some years ago. Over the years it has been added to, looked at and admired by me. It has a small Ghanian chair on which to sit. The basics of it are still the same with its mandala of bricks and plants planted just so … it is still overhung with beautiful branches and really, it is a delight. One day will commit to sitting on that chair – maybe just sitting, maybe just thinking, or meditating …

It brought me back to my essay “Gardening” wherein I write about this process of creating a secret garden, that no-one could see from any vantage point of my home, even if one goes right down to the perimeter of the garden. You have to know what you are looking for to know that it is there.

I remember writing what hard work this was over many many months, though there were times in-between when the project lay fallow, in part due to seasonal changes .. But what was so interesting and revelatory to me, was that when one commits, the universe seems to support that commitment and the process unfolds.

Somehow, it seems pertinent that this, my first blog, is about both commitment and gardening …

I hope we can get something really interesting and fascinating on the go by way of blogging – about commitment.


%d bloggers like this: