The truth isn’t always beauty, but the hunger for it is

     Nadine Gordimer

Who is the other within? How do we discover her/him and all her/him manifestations? Can we trust that we are more open to know more about these withheld, worthwhile and worthy aspects as we age? After all, we have endured numerous trials and tribulations, surprises and excitements. Yet, do we recognize all that we know? Is it even possible?

We could call the other, the shadow, the ignored, unknown, the qualities unused. They are arrayed inside asking for attention, wanting to be witnessed and seen, used, valued. We can see and feel as through an x-ray, all the layers gone, missing and those wanting more love and care. It can feel scary to take this x-ray into life. To look deeply, under the tissue of the day, to find the fabric of what we are made. It is a coming face to face with all the minutes, habits and years of how we have done this life. The task is immense. And, yet even the x-ray does not show all nor tell all. It is like a dream where we discover a certain interpretation and then months later another comes to mind and the dream makes sense by incorporating new meanings as they evolve through time–as our lives.

Like aspects appearing in a dream, we also finally find and confront what we fear from within. This refers to the parts hiding, unaware and unopened, those disguised and shadowed. A dark forest covers them and we have the possibility to peer into this if we are to release their energy. The shadows, like in an x-ray, could mean there is a disaster looming, something hidden behind. And yet they also are a connection, a link, between our conscious and unconscious existence. Being open to the x-ray unites the energy and increases flow, both inner and outer.

Taking the path inward accesses the mystery, the life force, the questions big and little gone unanswered–until now. Finally we are strong enough to wrestle the demons. That means also finding our value and valor to support this exploration. We have the chance to gain a grasp on these forces and complexes of unknown material rather than them having such a paralyzing grip on consciousness. This means one is no longer held hostage by the inner demons. Now, finally unhounded by the anxiety or inner terror of being or being seen, revealed as uncertain about how to proceed. It means honoring the ground under the surface, the unconscious listened to, this x-ray into the soul. Again, aging puts on our psychological doorstep the responsibility to round out what yet wants and needs to be heard from a wider and more inclusive perspective. This is hearing the soul, not the merely  the ego. Egos alone are incomplete and do not know the pathway to meaning and depth.

Do you ever wonder what your x-ray of your dreams reveals?

38 Comments on X – X-Ray

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  2. There is so much wisdom in your posts, Susan. I especially loved the ending: “Egos alone are incomplete and do not know the pathway to meaning and depth.”

  3. This is so interesting. Thank you. Sometimes shadows aren’t shadows at all just as sometimes dreams aren’t dreams at all. Illusions abound and we only live on the periphery thereof. Here’s something I wrote about shadows…

    “Tirǽche became conscious then of what was strange about the shadows. Although the ground appeared to be the same soil, foliage and grasses to which she was accustomed, all the shadows looked as if they weren’t shadows at all but reflections such as those seen on water. She shook her head. ‘Wherever I am, it’s not anywhere I’ve ever experienced before. Buildings which appear out of nowhere, shadows which aren’t shadows at all and colours which I’d never have imagined. Why aren’t I frightened? I should be trembling with fear right now.’”

    • Ridiculous that I am seeing this only TODAY in September Felicity. I was looking up Xray and I promise seen only now …

      Your writing is lovely about shadows .. ‘wherever I am, it’s not anywhere I’ve ever experienced before’.

      Thank you so much!

  4. I’d like to have my dreams X-rayed. My husband woke me up again during the night last night because I was yelling “Help! Help!” He said, “What’s wrong?” I said, “Someone was trying to steal my purse.” It was scarier than that, though….walking down a dark sidewalk, feeling the purse strap release as it was cut, turning and holding on to the purse while face to ski mask with the thief, yelling for help when no one was around and the guy clearly had a knife. What was my dream self thinking? Need X-ray!

  5. Thank you for this thought provoking post. I’ve enjoyed reading it. It’s important for us to understand and come to terms with our shadow self to be complete.

  6. I don’t know what my dreams mean. That is, I do look at them and do come up with a comprehension on a certain level; but that meaning keeps changing, evolving, as I evolve.

    I am gentle with my demons, greet them in a friendly manner and then make corrections I see needing to be made — not always a quick fix, of course.

    “the tissue of the day” — I like that.

  7. I like your choice of topic for the letter X. I guess it’s either X-ray or zylophone–ha! Do I ever wonder what the x-ray of my dreams reveal? Lately I dreamed that I am driving a house-shaped vehicle down the interstate with terry cloth covering the windshield with only one little peep-hole. In my conscious life have been casting about to find the best theme for my memoir. I guess that’s the peep-hole through which I’ll see my story evolve.

    • Peep hole is already a clue Marian, as is the ‘terry’ cloth. Is a terry cloth from babyhood /childhood? All the symbols in your dream are important. Being on the ‘inter’ state is a journey -Thank you for your comment.

  8. I really like this line: “Egos alone are incomplete and do not know the pathway to meaning and depth.” The pathway to meaning and depth is one we so often stray from. As such, our ego becomes the great obstacle to success and happiness. Good thought to ponder. Thank you for that.
    The x-ray of my dreams? Yes, I wonder about that. Pleasant dreams seem to lead to good days, I would like more such dreams. Wish I could control that realm of life. 🙂

  9. Your post is thought provoking. Since lately I have had a variety of experiences with x-rays… frustration and anger come to mind. What is revealed is only as good as the interpreter and the ethics of the interpreter.

    Thank you for the interesting post.

  10. oh yes I wonder indeed I do – in the mornings I hold the fragments I retrieve and worry away at them like a dog with a bone – sometimes some thing or other is revealed and other times I have had to learn to let them go and allow them their own journey of unfolding…
    once again a post of great insight and invokes much contemplation.

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