F: FEAR

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And the day came

when the risk to remain tight in a bud

became more painful

than the risk it took to blossom

Anais Nin

 Is there any value in fear? Or is it paralyzing?

 Do we fear Aging? I suppose we never give too much thought to it when we are younger.

Suddenly we are 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or approaching our 90’s – even older maybe.

 It can be overwhelming to us to have ‘aging’ in our sights, and even threatening.

 We may have witnessed parents, siblings, and friends aging before our eyes. We note incapacitation in ourselves or friends and colleagues, from tripping over an insignificant blade of grass – and the struggle to retain equilibrium thereafter.

 We wonder about our seeming inability to concentrate and complete tasks – time just runs away, ever faster as we try to catch our tail doing tasks that have no real satisfying meaning. For me, I am fearful of that.

Surprisingly, there is value in fear.

 Whatever uneasy or anxious making or fearful feeling we may have, can be the actual spur that shakes us out of our languor or torpor about aging – or anything else for that matter.

 Fear brings us up short – yet can serve to focus.

 It is not easy sitting with fearful feelings. Yet, sitting and being in that fearful place and going into it may bring another kind of awareness to bear. It is like a meditation sitting with the fear and, taking time and being in the present time is conscious experiencing in the moment. Something else may emerge, by virtue of sitting with fear and not jumping away from it, trying to escape it.

 Fear can be a mobilizing or motivating influence in that it forces us to re-member what we want and need. Being aware of fear gives a pause, a place to consider the destruction against us.

 Can we use these fears as a way to remind ourselves that we have too often lived our lives being waylaid, or have forbidden in some way our true natures to come forth? Have we forgotten?

 Are we fearful of living?

 Can we confront our fears no matter how awful they are? Can we sit in the midst of them, being in the moment of them, knowing that we are fertile no matter our age, and use that fear promoting fullness?

Are you fearful of ‘aging’?

                                The Cave that you fear to enter, holds the treasure you seek.                             Joseph Campbell

24 Comments on F – Fear

  1. From cave to castle, from castle to cave
    From bud to full blown bloom
    Fearlessness of youth goodbye we wave
    For fear to form our current room

    R.

  2. The quote from Anais Nin is among my favorites and Joseph Campbell is becoming one of my go to experts for advice on writing a compelling story. I’m currently reading his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Fascinating stuff.

    Fear can be paralyzing or motivating, so it’s how you react to it that matters. I read somewhere that fear is a sign that you’re doing something amazing. If you only travel down that well beaten path then you know what to expect, but if you blaze your own trail it can be frightening, yes, but exhilarating and much more rewarding.

    • Thanks so much Melissa. Yes, great book of Joseph Campbell to read – also his ‘ The Power of Myth’.

      I love the way you say about the well trodden path vs the one less travelled. Not exactly those words, but that sentiment. (In South Africa we use use ll’s for travelling – and incidentally, am at San Fran airport tonight awaiting flight to begin the return to SA. Mmmm, that’s quite nice: begin the return ..)

  3. Dear Beth;
    Opposites contain a range of feeling and emotion that links them together. So, can we really be in one or the other without holding both ends of the spectrum?
    Thank you,
    Susan in Arizona

    • Dear Samantha;
      I thought so on reading your comment a few times. Maybe the feeling just carried through and filled in the word.
      Thank you,
      Susan in Arizona

  6. Love the Joseph Campbell and Anais Nin quotes. Turning fear into a positive, and including fear of aging, I am stepping into that cave now, at this stage of my aging: yes, fear does stop us in our tracks and serve to divert our attention to something new; and that new thing gives us impetus, energy, interest, and then we feel young again. At least, that’s how I experience it.

    And, I agree with Patricia — I fear not living out my full purpose in life.

    I believe I fear living incapacitated than death.

    Thanks, once again, for your wisdom and thought-provoking piece.

    • Dear Samantha;
      Fear is so powerful and so little addressed rather than to just get over it. Much harder to be with it and listen to what it is saying.
      Thank you.
      Susan in Arizona

  7. Hi,

    If there is anything that I am really fearful of, it is not being able to live out my full purpose in life, and I believe this helps me stay focus on my purpose, my goals, and where I am headed. If I wasn’t so, then I would probably procrastinate and put things off thinking that I have time.

    I enjoyed reading about fear and can definitely see some of the positive effects that it has upon me.

    Shalom,
    Patricia

    • Dear Patricia;
      Yes, the positive and the negative effects go together. They are part of the spectrum of life…
      Thank you,
      Susan in Arizona

  8. I wrote a coming-of-age novel years ago, the central theme of which could be summed up in the words one of the characters carried on a scrap of paper in the pocket of his coat: Fear is a friend.

    I particularly love the tripping over a blade of grass and grappling for equilibrium thereafter. Lyrical and lovely, Susan.

  9. Yes, I think there is value in fear in that it motivates us to take better care of ourselves as the years go by. Fearful of living? Great question. Sometimes life seems too much, too demanding, so I guess, yes, maybe. Fear of aging? Sure, becoming dependent of someone can be tough.
    I am really enjoying your posts. Thank you.

  10. Susan, I definitely agree with Vicki’s and Mike’s comments. Your post is extremely thought-provoking. I don’t so much fear aging as what my body does in the process. I resent losing my energy and strength. I do fear becoming incapacitated as my parents did. Mostly, I work at pushing fear “out the door” and go with feeling in the “now.” However, fear does have a habit of sneaking in the backdoor of my mind.

  12. Great article, got value from reading it, thanks. Ya, I suppose there is value sitting in fear, it may be a fertile ground one way or another.

  13. Your topic today could not have come at a better time for me. Fear can be overwhelming but facing fear can be liberating. Thank you for such a thought provoking piece.

    • Dear Vicki;
      Things coming at the right time. fear is with us always, maybe how we recognize it and let it in is what counts or helps…
      Regards,
      Susan in Arizona

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