imagination

C: COMPLEX

James Hillman : Each life is formed by its unique image, an image that is the essence of that life and calls it to a destiny  –

These are some words that define aging. Does that feel strange? Maybe not when they are more clarified.

Complexes, according to Jungian analytical psychology, are defined as parts of our personality like islands that we are not in connection with; or, we could say we lack connection to; or we are so unconscious of them that they make us act in ways that are out of sync with our personality. One of these, for many people, is the entire topic, much less the experience of getting older.

Complex is also a word for aging that implies the conscious and unconscious beliefs, ideas, feelings, thoughts, actions. Aging is so difficult because few people discuss it. Are we listening to this stage and time of life that is so immensely significant?

Perhaps there is special preparation to be done as we age. It may not be an active ‘doing’ like suddenly going to the gym or going on a raw food or vegetarian diet. But it is an important time to do some serious assessment, tying up loose ends, coming to terms with what is, making reparations within and without as need be. Paying attention to dreams is an interesting and creative way to get in touch with the inner world, as it is often full of surprises.

Aging is Being. Self. It is a conundrum. A conundrum contains, it is complex, there is not a way out, it feels trapped, limiting, full and holding, tight and can definitely be creative. The conundrum is that age is in our face. It says we cannot go on forever and we have to value and grieve that we are in the now and to use it for whatever we wish. No more endless tomorrows. The time is in the present moment. Not so easy to live in the moment.

Our task is how to use the energy in this place for development and growth. The conundrum is how to use all we know and then add some. How to expand if aging seems to be interpreted by too many as a time of contraction?

So, we are in the challenge of how to make aging a different experience. We are of another generation than the one before us. We are charged to find other ways to be healthy and full throughout life. The conundrum is how to do it?

What is a creative way through when the past models were not very enticing? We can only figure what will work for ourselves and what is in line with how we have lived and will continue to live. This means honoring the inner world, the world of dreams, thoughts, creations, ideas, feelings. It is a complex situation and requires us to get out of our own way and at the same time, to listen to our own way.

In the midst is the powerful challenge of acceptance, of dreams not created, much less answered. The next generations stare us in the face. We are to be happy for them, but are we? It is part of the shadow we all carry to feel envy and the sorrow of not having the chances anymore. Or, maybe some are content as their lives are challenging and full, their inner world interesting, they are creative and vibrant. Yes, having to cope, but coping. Not resigned but rather connected within. The world not concave but convex and open, capacity flowing. Not an easy position to create, cohere to, or be congruent.

Just today a woman spoke about aging with disgust. Her body would go, she would not be attractive to men, especially younger ones. She would lose her strength, beauty, energy. It was awful to listen to her rendition about what life held for her. Here is the complex around aging speaking.  Canceling attention and care on age and the aging process is a defeat to attaining completeness in life.

What complexes run your attitudes to aging?

30 Comments on C – COMPLEX

  1. True grace vis a vis complexities … yes, if we can recognise and integrate the complexities into our lives we will be fortunate and blessed with grace indeed.
    Thank you Ida, you put this so well.

  2. How well we adjust to these complexities is where true grace lies… I spent the weekend with an elderly couple who enjoy there lives so much that I found myself questioning the fairness of death… I have just decided to read your D for death post before I comment further 🙂

  3. Very cool, Susan. Your posts always enlighten me somehow. It’s certainly a mystery, what time does to us. Some days I yearn for change, “to be transformed by the renewing of my mind,” and I struggle for it, wait for it, and it always seems to happen when I’ve been distracted and stopped looking for it. It’s like God waits sometimes for all my energy to be depleted before he recharges me and makes me new again. Can’t complain, He knows what’s best for me after all. Keep up the awesome work and thanks again for the encouragement.

    • Thanks Robert for commenting. I also have that yearning for renewal and it seems to happen when I stop looking for it as you say! Rumi said something about this … it’s always there – inside.

  4. People react differently to the aging process and I feel I has a lot to do with views and attitude. I personally feel regretting when you look back on your life is useless and counterproductive. Embrace where you are now and learn from your experiences. Life is the best classroom we have to learn about ourselves and our place in the world. As long as you pull in breath and your two feet hit the ground in the morning, you have the opportunity to change what you don’t like and revel in the parts of your life you do. You can’t change your past, but you can move ahead armed with the knowledge from it.

    • Dear Renee;
      Embracing where we are is the issue. Complex and involves what we like and do not and how to expand into whatever…
      Regards,
      Susan in Arizona

  5. Dear Christine;
    Perhaps all feelings apply. We might bounce back and forth many times–even within the span of a day. Maybe the bouncing gives perspective.
    Thank you.
    Susan in Ariozna

  6. What a wonderful post! I love this so much: “How to expand if aging seems to be interpreted by too many as a time of contraction?”

    I bounce back and forth between feeling that mid-life is an opportunity to assess and reinvent, and mourning the losses big and small that part of the journey.

  8. All life is a preparation, I believe. I am in the tying up loose ends stage and planning for the future, both in this life and the next, and whatever is in-between. I try to stay in the now; but that is difficult. I am happy for my past experiences, the things I have had the courage to do in my life. I have lived many lifetimes in this lifetime. Sometimes I think I should have stayed with one thing, one focus, but I would rather be happy that I did try something rather than sad because I didn’t.

    I love the header image for this post and how your words weave the colors as that image does.

    Thanks.

    • How well you put that Samantha thank you that all of a life is a preparation..Thank you! And that we’ve lived many lifetimes, more yet to come – who knows? We move through this one, look back and forward, and find being in the moment is equally important.
      Thank you again – your comment is thoughtful, and I have learned from them.

  9. Hi,

    First let me say that I just love James Hillman. I have his book The force of Character And the Lasting Life, which is excellent.

    Secondly I love your C for Complex. Aging has its complexity especially if one has not come to terms with the fact that each day of life that we live is a maturation process where we mature and get older.
    We are on a journey and planet earth is not our final resting place. Thus, I believe that many of us have to come to terms with the fact that we will die and maybe this will help us come to terms with getting older.

    Shalom,
    Patricia

    • Dear Patricia;
      Yes, the journey does not let us alone, nor should it. Important to figure as much as we can because we can never figure it all–no matter how many years we get.
      Regards,
      Susan in Arizona

  10. Walking is the best exercise I agree, being out in the open air and enjoying Nature if one is so lucky. Thank you for stopping by!

  11. I wanted to weigh on the concept that people feel they need to go to the gym to be active. I actually think there are so many free ways to get in shape, like bicycles and walking, but people are afraid to go a block without their car. As a life long pedestrian and more recently a bicyclist, I find traveling this way is free, and I get my work outs in. It helps one stay in shape and save money as well. Thoughtful post.

  14. Thank you Sylvia … are things always out of reach? It seems so a lot of the time!
    I like what you say about people ‘dealing’ with life – do we need to deal with it – maybe we each have our own ways. Strange word ‘deal’ – as if I do this, then that will happen. Not as simple as that. Is life a ‘deal’? Maybe ..

  15. I like the image of an island we’re not connecting to, or trying very hard, yet it remains out of our reach. That woman’s rendition sounds awful indeed. I know someone whose way of dealing (if there is a need to deal, anyway), is by refusing to talk about her age, refusing to celebrate birthdays, or even mention them. I guess that’s her right, but it’s a bit hard to dance around one’s age, comes with life.

  16. I do agree with Liz and Beth as your post is COMPLEX, as is aging. Sometimes I feel like an old car… the engine is starting to wear down and the parts need to be replaced. How come I can’t trade the body in for a new one? Mostly, I can accept me for the stage I’m in… except I don’t agree with what my mirror tells me. But, I like the “inside” of me. I have grown comfortable with who I am where in my younger years I was not. The only issue I truly have difficulty with is dealing with the Pain in my body. Keeping my spirit up to forge on is sometimes a trial. Aging definitely is a conundrum of issues and thoughts to access.

    As always, Thank you for your wise post.

    • Thank you Gwynn as always for your comment. The outside is a reality too which may be hard; do you know what it is you don’t ‘agree’ with?
      Pain is an ongoing trial sad to say – as is life. As is aging and all the conundrums of it as you say.

      • I have a tendency to remain in denial. I STILL think I’m young, evidently only young at heart, as the mirror doesn’t agree with the age that I think I am. Should I throw away my mirror?

  17. I agree with Beth and Liz…

    I feel like I will spend the rest of my aging trying to get out of my own way, or perhaps now, today, through your encouragement, I will become a better listener of own way.

    Thank you for sharing this insightful post and for arranging these thoughts and questions in such a lovely and peaceful presentation.

    Ever,

    R.

  18. Wow! You sure packed a lot into this one. I have to read this over a few times. Good job!

    • Dear Beth;
      Maybe the more energy, the more age or vice verse. That is not the usual thought, but just maybe…
      Regards,
      Susan in Arizona

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