Spin Doctoring & Faith & Doubt

I was listening to the Minister of Finance give his maiden speech of the midterm budget speech in the Houses of Parliament in Cape Town this afternoon. This country has been on tenterhooks to hear what he has to say and if and how he will use spin to the highest degree to ‘justify’ the economic wreck he and his ilk have imposed upon us – all – in the last several months. Spin doctors … what an exhausting and dizzying job it must be, until maybe the spin doctors begin to believe their own lies. It is an ongoing worry, at least on my part, that whoever it is, begins to believe their own lies. And more, expect/hope/wish that we the people believe them. Which sadly, many of us do.  We are in grave danger of believing those lies, and we all begin to believe our own lies and we deny what we hear see touch taste and smell with our senses and the web gets ever more spidery – and still we deny. In spite of the facts of history. Denial: insidious and perfidious, Janus-faced –

I know that everywhere in the world there are huge and worrying issues – issues of gigantic import. So much and so many are dying –  threats are everywhere –

I try hard to keep myself one step removed from it all, but it is not really possible for me. When I think on these things, I acknowledge, partly, the deep sorrow I feel about the world and its inhabitants and our planet. My tummy gets into a knot and I feel a pain in my groin. That’s my visceral response. I force myself to try to bring a different attitude to this enervation and despair I feel. I don’t want to feel the full weight of the world because I would immediately collapse under the burden. And it is not my place to feel the full weight of the world. I feel some of it nevertheless. I am glad that I have my own useful defence mechanisms to ward off the full weight but then I must find something else to take its place that is hopefully constructive.

So, I try to expand my cold crimped numbed heart in some way … I took paint to paper these last few days, something I had started in Plettenberg Bay about three weeks ago. An image from quite a long while ago which has come more and more to the fore in recent times. I painted it. I like what C.G. Jung said about using the hands to express what the head cannot (paraphrased). I think my ego or the overly critical part of myself took a bit of a back seat while my hands were doing what they did.  It was very hard. I’m pleased with myself that I have worked on it after great resistance – I feel I have done some justice to my psyche. The painting is still a bit incomplete.

The challenges we face here in South Africa are very daunting. All of us are in a state of shock and confusion and some denial at the corruption that goes on, notably but not exclusively at State Owned Enterprises (SOE’s) which are in the dwang financially and forever being rescued. We’re very well aware of our dire economic situation, very high unemployment for one (and very little potential for economic growth) and the rotten apples at the top. This too I try to keep a step removed from. I have a bit of faith in the strength of our politically active organisations that call out unethical actions within the government or wherever it may occur; and in the public persons who speak out and say no.

Which makes me think on other things such as my son and daughter-in-law’s visit from Cape Town this weekend, so we’re looking forward to the few nights they’ll be with us (they have a wedding to attend) and my upcoming visit to Cape Town next week. I’ll be flying down on Wed 1st November for just over a week. Water is very scarce there and is impacting on people’s lives in a major way. My sister lives there; I’ll see her re-fashioned garden. She uprooted most of her lovingly tended garden and plants to replace with paving, stones and gravel. I know I won’t be able to indulge in a bath, part of my usual evening ritual at home. A quick shower and conserving falling water in a bucket to be re-used.

I’ve asked her to make an appointment for me with the woman who cut my hair in Cape Town just over a year ago when I was there. I want a cut and also for my hair to be highlighted so that I can start the process of going grey or whatever my natural colour is. If it doesn’t suit me because of my skin tone or whatever, I will revert to another plan. I’ve been thinking about this for several months already. The time feels right. Maybe a tiny protest on my part against ageism which is getting a good and healthy airing these days and a curiosity on my side to be ‘au naturel’ –

My husband and I will be relocating from Johannesburg at some stage to live permanently in Plettenberg Bay where we’ve had a lovely holiday home for the last long while. I do not know when exactly this will be but it is on the horizon. Maybe by June next year. I sincerely hope not sooner. But this is something that I think about in fits and starts, a new life, different to the one I’ve had here in Johannesburg for the last very long while. I hope to meet the unknown challenges – my husband too – I am trying to have faith in the process however it unfolds.

 I’ve been wondering about faith and doubt for the last several months, the strangest bedfellows if ever there were. I did a blog post on this in February 2015. Uncertainty and synchronicity were part of it. I went back to it re-read the responses which were so heartening and melted my heart all over again. Does doubt strengthen faith? Is doubt a necessary process? Is it a terrible thing? I excerpted the poem that Elaine posted on the comments:

“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope,
for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith,
but the faith and the love are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
― T.S. Eliot

I like my painting and the image it expresses about my personal challenge of faith and doubt. And also, maybe synchronistically, as in the February 2015 post, the last few days have brought up the discussion of Faith and Doubt on a thread I follow on FB. Which has demonstrated to me again, the necessity of exercising my faith muscle, in my psyche, in spite of being besieged by doubt, about much.

Walking out in nature is always a balm to my soul. I’m keeping to my Blisters for Bread initiative and noting on my cell phone the number of steps I walk on any given day and putting an amount of money into the jar I have on my table. I haven’t asked anyone to join me …

The rand to the dollar exchange rate has shot through the roof after the finance minister’s speech – I’ve been half heartedly listening to a summary of it all this evening. One of the analysts called it a dip in the rand – it’s not a dip, it’s a huge dive, southwards. So maybe it’s not through the roof but downwards to the murky depths. To give our new-ish minister his due, he did note the enormous challenges we face, but he has neatly avoided some fundamental issues. (Russia is behind a nuclear power deal with South Africa – we don’t need it, we already have a functioning power station, we don’t need a new one, we have an over-supply of renewable energies and coal and apart from other major concerns eg nuclear waste and its storage, we do not have the HUGE amount of money required – at least a trillion projected at this stage but no doubt this will climb. We are already in huge debt).

My son David happened on my February 2015 post. He made the following comment at the time –

‘I find that when things seem too certain, that’s when I start to worry. Certainty makes your faith weak, and a weak faith makes life stale.“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1: 2 – 4’

Thank you for reading – keep the faith and may the Force be with you in these uncertain times.

60 Comments on spin doctoring and Faith and Doubt

  1. I believe everything happens for a reason, even if sometimes that reason is unclear. Right now the whole world is going through a massive awakening. All great changes are preceded by chaos… 😊

  2. My heart aches for the state of much the world. It seems all the ‘baddies’ in the world seem to hold power. It’s indeed a frightening and disheartening situation for so many, and I’m sorry your country is not exempt. I think the world has seen much this past year alone – a rude awakening. I hope through all this unrest we all find a way to unite, speak up and find peace. No country is perfect in this time, but never was I ever more grateful to be a Canadian. 🙂

    • Thank you Debby so much for coming by. Yes, unrest is everywhere – today here in South Africa is Black Monday where many are wearing black. I am – as a protest against the farmers who are murdered but it is also against all murders really in my view. I wonder how many will be in black at the birthday dinner I’m going to this evening. My elder son was in Canada recently for an animation delegation – Ottawa – and he said how lovely and peaceful everything was. I know a few South Africans who have relocated to Canada – I think there are many in Saskatchewan in particular. I suspect all are hearts are aching no matter where we live … may it all lessen soon. Thank you again and I really appreciate your coming by 🙂

  3. I feel your pain, Susan. Our wonderful country is falling apart at the seams and the greatest losers will be the poor. I work for KPMG and we have been suffering unduly from fake news and media lies. Many people are looking at moving or are actively in progress with relocating and most of these moves are now off-shore. Another massive loss of talent and brain power for this country.

    • Just today my husband who is a specialist doctor told me of two of his colleagues who are actively involved in moving abroad … it’s all rather scary Robbie and I’m sorry about KPMG. Come December – I wonder what will happen? Thank you for coming by …

  4. Susan, I have so many deep feeling responses to this post. Many are hard to articulate now, but I share a sense of doubt and foreboding as we watch the ominous clouds build. I struggle to find faith. I remember Marian Woodman reciting those lines by heart from T.S. Elliot. Often She used her Shakespearean actress persona and deep resonant voice.

    It’s hard not to be frightened. The best medicine is walking and working outside, but most mornings my belly is tight with vague apprehension

    • Thanks Elaine for coming by. I can imagine Marian Woodman reciting those lines in Shakespearean mode – T. S. Eliot would have been proud. I am thinking of your post from a while back of practising Tonglen, breathing out compassion for the world not forgetting ourselves as well …it is a practice worthwhile developing which I do every now and then. As is walking in nature –

  5. Hi Sue – I too feel the deep sorrow you talk about and feel at a loss to know what small contribution I could make to turn the tide of destruction. I hope to see you more often with the soon-to- happen move to Plett. Thank you for always making me think and contemplate life’s issues from a different perspective – love the way you write about your thoughts and feelings. Love Sheila

    • Hi Sheila a lovely surprise to see you here, thank you – and for the lovely compliment! We know that most of our people are good and law abiding citizens, warm and friendly, those from places like Zimbabwe and elsewhere as well … and you my sweet friend do so much. I’m thinking of Joost van der Westhuizen and the extraordinary story of how YOU got research going here in South Africa into motor neuron disease. No small feat … and you as ‘one lady & a tribe’ do much that is good and right. We each can within our sphere of influence, large or small it may be. So thank you for being you. And yes, please see let’s see each other soon.

  6. I am happy that you persevere through the doubt and do what you can: “I took paint to paper these last few days,” a statement that made my heart thrill. I was saddened by your contemplating going to visit Capetown where water is so scarce. Blessings on you as your persevere in your walking commitment, Blisters for Bread, and for you anticipation of making a move next year.

    The serenity prayer is most apt these days: Do what you can, and leave the rest to a higher power. Your son David is wise, quoting James, and I’ll add to that Romans 5:3,4 ” . . . “knowing that tribulation worth patience; and patience, experience, and experience, hope!”

    Blessings to you in these trying times, dear Susan!

    • Thank you Marian for coming by. Interesting to me that my taking paint to paper made your heart thrill .. I’m getting another thrill just reading this! Davey is a wise young man indeed. I told him yesterday I’d put up a post adding in his comment from Feb 2015 and there’s been a reaction or two – I’ll tell him again tomorrow about yours when they’re back – they’ve gone up country for a wedding and overnighting. Thank you for the Romans quote … we have to endure. And have hope .. 🙂 and trust and goodness knows what else ..

  7. More from me…..
    Within South Africa alone, as a white minority member of our population, I am becomingly nervous for my family’s lives, and their futures, and the childrens’ educations. No doubt you heard that the ministry of education wants to take over the running of all schoools and not allow school governing bodies to employ staff and run their own schools.

    I loved David’s 2015 message …. about faith and doubt.

    I understand now why some people say they don’t watch or listen to the news – rather bury their heads in the sand. And carry on regardless.

    Sending you love and sooo looking forward to having you here next week.

    • Thank you dear Sis. Burying our heads in the sand is one alternative but there are many other constructive alternatives. We can discuss when I’m there ❤️

  8. Dearest Sis. I’ve just read your blog and the responses. It certainly is very heavy indeed. I too feel the pain of our world, the earth and it’s peoples. As do the friends who live in other parts of the world, as they so beautifully wrote.
    I think I told you about yet another farmer in our area who was killed while protecting his household from an attack. And asked you to wear black on Monday. Please, if there are any South African readers there, please wear black on Monday – on behalf of all the farm murders that are increasingly happening in our country. There is a wide call for it.

    • Yes I know you do sweet Sis – feel the pain I.e. I think in part we have African women who work in our homes and who are therefore part of our ‘circle’ of influence so we know first hand or close 2nd hand about their lives. I’ll wear black on Monday for all those murdered in our poor beloved country – see you soon❤️💚

  9. Oh my susan, i appreciate you for your open sharing, so many things happening around creating doubts in the mind; and sense of dissatisfaction about the way things are globally too… the other day I was reading and feeling so sad about the crime rates rising, and the with a group of women we were discussing “safe spaces” for girls/women and in some of the cases and from the daily newspaper we are reading everyday even home is not a safe space ….. yet there is faith in the lord, faith in the goodness of people who are working towards empowering women, saying no to violence… Its interesting to know that you are shifting from johannesburg and opening yourself to newer experiences of life, ..nice to hear your personal sharing, appreciate your courage, and i am wishing you peace, harmony. May you be blessed in everything you do, love and hugs to you.

    • Thank you dear Genevive. Keep on being the candle that shines brightly. You are a shining example of doing what must be done which gives me faith in the goodness of people everywhere who do what they can when they can, within an organisation or just simply on their own. The wheel turns slowly but turn it does… every burning candle adds to the light and helps in believing that peace and harmony is possible no matter the darkness that accompanies it. All blessings to you and family Genevive, your country – xx

  10. Having grown up in a predominantly catholic environment, I silently rebelled against the dogma of faith, which, historically, belies necessary change. A Sufi teacher I met during the 70s clarified my doubt. In a lecture on Western Sufism, he said, as quoted in ‘Heart of a Sufi,’ which I co-edited: ‘With faith one attains and realises peace and harmony. With doubt one destroys and gains freedom to move ontowards.’ Mindfunda and your son make similar points.
    The capitalist concept brought huge innovations and comforts to many lives, but also made short-term greed into a virtue, resulting in unsustainable exploitation of resources, disparity and hatred. The spell has taken over, like in Goethe’s poem, Der Zauberlehring. I translated this poem on my blog some time back.
    I am with all of you. The media mirror shows us the stupidity, injustice and suffering around the world and leaves us despondent, which may be why depression is spreading at an alarming rate. We can only pray, calm the heart, and participate in the deep soul-searching.

    • Thanks Ashen for coming by. I love your comment. It’s strange and discomfiting to realise how greed can become a virtue and how it’s been allowed with complicity as its companion with devastating results. May hatred turn to love, disparity to parity, dark to light, despondency to hope, exploitation to conservation, doubt to faith …

      You added this beautiful poem in my Feb 2015 post so I’m reposting it here. It is calming …

      Let thy wish become my desire
      Let thy will become my deed
      Let thy word become my speech beloved
      and thy love become my creed

      Let my plant bring forth thy flower
      Let my fruit produce thy seed
      Let my heart become thy lute beloved
      And my body thy flute of reed

      The word are from Hazrat Inayat Khan

  11. Dear Susan, Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing its heaviness. You write with such a strong, clear, authentic voice. I am reminded of the Greek myth of Atlas with the entire weight of the world placed on his shoulder and his deep longing to unburden himself. Understandably, I imagine you are completely wrung out with the whole political situation in South Africa at the moment. And then, there’s Fate. Of how one is born to suffer “weight” (however defined) until we can bring this universal myth forward by exploring our personal and collective “Atlas complex.”

    I feel there is much to weigh up in these “heavy” times. The negatives are obvious, too much weight eventually crushes … and yet, the positives of this situation are that because of the weightiness of the world at the moment we are being forced to think seriously about our lives differently, most especially in terms of what we long for. So much of what you have written totally resonates with others. The weight of the world versus the light of the world, is what #WATWB is all about isn’t it. A truly great way to offload your own and collective weight!

    Aha! A big adventure awaits for you! And it’s taking place next year, how exciting! At last it’s time to put down the “weight” you no longer need to carry and focus on lightness. Relocating your centre is underway. The time is ripe as you enter your own pregnant darkness. What a great saying by Jung, he was on the ball wasn’t he! Art, creativity, hands, heart. Just perfect. Elaine always finds the right words! Back to “weight” and your writing, well I just want to thank you once more for helping me understand why I became a blogger. I guess it’s my way of tackling my own Atlas complex! Blessings always, Deborah.

    • Thank you Deborah! The Atlas Complex – I must read up about that and the need for bringing the myth forward about suffering as an individual and collective concern. I think of Sisyphus, endlessly rolling that boulder up the hill, again and again and again. Camus concluded his essay on the myth of Sisyphus “We must consider Sisyphus happy” .. from ‘The Cry for Myth’ by Rollo May.

      I agree that many of us are being FORCED to re-think our lives on all levels. Dark nights of the Soul have their inestimable value as has been born out by many ordinary and extraordinary people.

      Yes, I’m going to find a post for #WATWB – it is a great initiative. It always comforting and challenging to find these lights in the world and to remember that the dark is pregnant! Maybe for that very reason – Keep on writing your beautifully pregnant prose Deborah! They, and you are blessed indeed.

  12. Hi Susan – life is hard at the moment … so many of us don’t know where to turn and what to do – I’d love it .. if we weren’t so tied in to the conventional life style and could actually develop more community minded living opportunities – my pockets aren’t that large to move off into that direction … also another twist of events has given me a new opportunity – more anon.

    The world is in a dire place – I must say I thought after the Millennium we’d go swimmingly along … with all the wealthy countries and its peoples helping improve lives around the world and bringing democracy to bear in those countries that need to be fair to all its peoples … China, Russia, the Middle East and Africa – so desperately sad to read what’s happening in SA – it could and should have been the driving force in Africa.

    I’m glad you have encouraging thoughts re Plett … it makes sense … and the most important thing is to care for you and yours, me and ours, and help as many others as we are able – even just with positive thoughts.

    Take care and with many thoughts – Hilary

    • Hi Hilary, and thanks for coming by. Imagine, living in a community where there is caring and sharing, each looking out for the other and knowing there is reciprocity …

      I guess there’s value in being disillusioned so that we see what actually is and take this reality for what it is and be and do from that point. As you say, ‘care for you and yours, me and ours and help as many as we are able’ – extend a helping hand when we can. And even positive thoughts 🙂

      I look forward to hearing about the events that have given you a new opportunity! Take care xx Susan

  13. Hi Susan! I like the perspective of doubt as a positive sign. In the ?80’s or was it the 90s? I read Marian Wiliamson’s book return to love. One of the things I always remembered was that she thought doubt was a sign of the universe saying no.
    Ever since, I have always interpreted doubt as a no. And this interpretation of your son might just breath some renewing air through my old and rusty presumptions.

    Thanks for your post, you always touch me and bring new visions.


    • Hi Susanne, thanks so much for coming by. There are schools of thought/philosophy etc that say that doubt is a fear monger and just plain wrong … and all we need is love. The Buddha also said that doubt is a dreadful habit. Maybe they know? Socrates and his questioning? Those who doubted that the earth was flat as they’d been led to believe?

      In my instance, I am at home questioning just about everything while knowing there may be no absolute answers. Not just for the sake of it; sometimes the opposite of something is equally true. Paradox – 🙂 and of course I often doubt myself …

  14. This seems to be a trauma worldwide–corruption, misleading, hate. I just don’t know what to do about it. I wouldn’t have thought we could all get in such a mess.

  15. Ohhh Susan, my heart goes out to you as I fully understand your concern. The politics here in the U.S. have me highly concerned especially with the Twitter comments jousting back and forth between our President and No. Korean’s leader. I see the nations out there helping No. Korea and I fear we will experience a devastating World War. I have no respect for our political leaders and many people from his party are learning to disrespect him too, as he speaks from both sides of his face.

    Plus, I have trauma at the home side as my son’s wife is experiencing extreme anxiety, which leaves my son to care for his wife, the children, his job, and the finishing of the remodel of his home. What is happening in the world out there? Other friends are experiencing extreme trauma in their families too. TOO SAD!!!

    My walks along the waterfront in Poulsbo and through town, with my chats with people is what soothes my soul.

    Thanks for your delightful post.

    • Plus, I have to add, as the comment section would not let me post a long reply:

      I am chuckling, Susan, with the publishing of your delightful and insightful book, “Aging and Becoming” I would have thought you would have gone au natural… ages ago. I have and I LOVE being ME!! However, I do have a new word for your book.. “Worn.” I think of the ways my body is becoming worn out, as a well-loved doll becomes thread-bare over time. We are who we are and we ARE OK!!

      • I had my hair cut about 3 weeks ago and it’s looking good, colour wise and cut wise. This will be a big step for me, I think I’ll have to have my hair cut really short next week in Cape Town to begin the process of going ‘au naturel’. What if the salon has no water – which is a possibility! In which case … whichever way, I am not very au naturel – I would be lost without my lipstick! Even if many of them are ‘worn’ .. 🙂 Do please put up a review of ‘Aging & Becoming’ Gwynn, this would be much appreciated! xx

    • I feel for your son’s wife Gwynn. Maybe many of us are not even aware of an underlying anxiety about everything. Extreme anxiety must be dreadful. Her inner trauma may be be a reflection of the outer world. Can she maybe journal or paint or take a piece of clay as a way of getting her anxiety out of her guts? Walking is for me an essential. Doing the journalling or painting or whatever else is very hard for me but the rewards are real. Thank you for coming by.

      • My son’s wife is in an “out-patient” program for 10 hours a day for a month. They do yoga, counseling, art, reading, and whatever else. I think for her it is a combination of life… work, two small children, and an extreme remodeling of the house. The place is a disaster… but yesterday they received the final approval so now they can start putting their lives back together. However, I think she needs to learn to organize her life. There is a lot she doesn’t understand. She is a loving, intelligent woman though so I PRAY that she gets through this trauma. It is so sad to watch.

        • I’ve heard that re-doing one’s house ranks amongst the most stressful of all things Gwynn, in there with death, divorce, grave illness etc etc .. It’s good that she makes time for herself among all the chaos. Her reaction to the stress does sound extreme if as you say she is in a program for 10 hours a day for a month. I wish them well in their putting their lives back together again. May she return to it all invigorated and calm and ready to meet what lies ahead. (I hope your son won’t be needing a month’s retreat) 🙂

  16. You bring awareness that so many negative issues are common to all of humankind, presently. I’ve seen three messages, yesterday and today, from friends living in other countries, that express the frustration of our governments’ failings. Greed and power are at war with the average citizen’s needs. I continue to have faith that the pendulum will swing back and restore decency. Your faith is obviously strong. Perhaps we need these times. They may be necessary to provide us the willingness to turn those tables in our favor.

    • Thanks so much Marsha for commenting. It seems to me that people all over like your friends are feeling this quiet desperation but turning that frustration into active protest against government failings and their promises to win more votes that are not worth the breath expended. Yes, I agree, perhaps we need these times. I think it was Jean Shinoda Boles who wrote beautifully about ‘needing’ these times now that you bring this to attention … or Maya Angelou. I believe this to be true. It gives an opportunity to turn inwards on the micro level and thereby influence the macro …

  17. I agree with Ally. She is right that he never lets anyone forget he exists–and it is constant and exhausting. Then the spin doctors come out to explain what he “really meant,” or to say that black is now whiter and up is down. The true believers believe every word despite the facts. I’m sorry things are also bad in S. Africa.
    It sounds like you have a lot going on–from changes in hair color to a move at some point–but I hope you will enjoy your visit with friends and family. And I still hope,

    • Thanks Merril for coming by! It’s hard sometimes to not feel dizzy and exhausted in trying to separate the wheat from the chaff or reading between the lines. Is it worth it I sometimes wonder .. I’d rather read between the lines or be in the lines in your wonderful musings that are also a balm to me … just so you know ..

      Yes, I’m looking forward to Cape Town. I had a practice shower last night to see how fast I could.

  18. Thank you for sharing Susan! I think that no matter what part of the world ones lives in there are many of us find our faith weakening. I just loved your painting and like you when I feel down an in despair, I turn to my writing, reading and tutoring. We certainly need some positive feeds in our life. I too adore the Anne Lamott quote and agree with Ally on T.S. Eliot. My favourite quote is “When the world says give up~ Hope says try one more time.”

    • Thanks Sylvia for coming by. Yes, we can turn away from the weight of it to an extent by engaging in something constructive to help ward off the world. I love your quote too –

  19. What a powerful turn of events you note. Changes and water shortage and the dipping in money, time and the change of your own self-image. All bring a stretch to one’s being..

    • I guess a stretch to one’s being is no bad thing Susan. These are interesting and worrying times we live in. So much thought has to go into it all. Some sort of awareness and preparation for all these changes. Thank you for coming by.

  20. Sounds like a lot going on over there politically, Susan, same as here. Like you, I try to keep myself a bit removed from time to time, just in hopes of tending to mental health, if anything, but it’s SO hard to keep from reacting to this and that headline, this and that speech or .. worse … tweet.
    I’m glad you’ll have some time with your son and daughter in law. The young give us hope, and yours sure sound wonderful.
    Faith and doubt … I hear you, strange bedfellows.
    Thank you for writing a thought-provoking post.

    • Thanks Silvia so much. It helps I think to know we’re in the same boat no matter which part of the planet and which boat we hope won’t sink. We have to have faith and hope that justice will prevail and the crooks won’t get away with it and enrich themselves using our hard earned tax payers money instead of it being used for betterment of schooling, hospitals, affordable and good health care and so on – it’s happening on such a HUGE scale here where money is diverted into pockets and ongoing feeding at the trough …

  21. A great post Susan! All we can share is doubt and misgivings but the candid sharing comforts others.If I were you Plet would beckon sooner rather than later.

    I am much in the same zone.In Britain nothing but hatred, for the Brexit anti Brexit debate and any opinion (on either side) brings contempt and opprobrium. So much anger wages!

    I identify! Best P

    • Thanks Phi … yes I know re Brexit and the apparent spin doctoring, and the uncertainty it all brings. I agree it is good to share our misgivings and own to our pessimism. Best to you. Susan

  22. Lots to process here. I’ve been feeling hopeless, helpless– then overly confidant in turns here in the USA. You know the source of our discontent, he never lets anyone forget that he exists. It’s worrying on a level like you describe re: your finance minister. The idea of moving anywhere right now sounds daunting, so I hope you have until next June to enjoy where you are. Still, the opportunity to start anew is enticing. I think about it from time-to-time regarding my blog. I adore the Anne Lamott quote, it dovetails perfectly with the T.S. Eliot quote– the last line being one of my favorites.

    • Thanks for coming by Ally Bean. First responder! A friend of mine who was my bridesmaid moved to the UK with her husband and then to Connecticut and then New Jersey, making beautiful homes wherever she was. She was paralysed when her husband committed suicide two years ago. Now, she and her new partner have moved to Denver Colorado and she sent me many photos of her new home, which is simply gorgeous and stylish, using bold colour on the walls, bold paintings and exquisite artefacts. I hope to use some of her ideas in our Plett home ..freshen it up a lot .. We’ll be there over the Christmas season and can look at it anew …

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