silence

Well, we spent our first night as planned in our townhouse last Friday night, 21st June, the winter solstice.

What was not planned was a bad car accident the day before, Thursday 20th June. I’d just had my oil and water checked, the tyres filled with nitrogen, and was on my way home to check on the family and their packing. I did not see it coming; I was driving along the road I live in. It was about 11 a.m. A truck did not stop at the stop street and smacked into me flipping my car over the centre of the road into an oncoming motor cyclist who  connected with my overturned car.

I vaguely remember crawling out of it and seeing my mangled and bloodied right hand out of the corner of my eye. I gave someone my husband’s cell number and he and son Davey were there within moments. My hand was operated on for 2 hours that afternoon at my husband’s clinic and I spent the night in hospital. The movers came at 1.30 on Friday as planned and things were moved to the townhouse. Jane my housekeeper made up our beds, take out food was our supper that night. We all slept well, the quiet and silence of where we are is healing. Sunday night was the super moon.

Davey posted on FB about this event which I am sharing with you below. Also, the other evening when we were sitting around the dining room table eating proper food, he said that we have all become closer as a result of this. I expressed surprise because we are a close family anyway. He said; ‘pain sews the seeds of joy’. My good friend Monika said that maybe this crash was an outer manifestation of unacknowledged inner turmoil about the move. I went to see the orthopaedic doc this past week and stopped in at my husband’s rooms en route. Pat, one of his secretaries said; ‘I see you’ve had your wings clipped’. Susan my friend in Phoenix Az said about these times of major transitions being times when the demons have a field day.

Apart from bruises and aches all over, including my face and my hand now thoroughly stitched, pinned, plastered and bandaged, I feel alright. I haven’t had time to digest this all in the manner required but I give thanks daily, hourly, that it wasn’t worse. When strangers see my enormous bandaged hand and facial bruises and enquire and I tell, they are so sympathetic and say ‘God is great’, ‘by the grace of God’ and I feel the corpuscles around my heart area swelling a little. My WASP friends seldom mention this although they are, of course, sympathetic.

My right hand is out of action for at least 6 weeks; no driving – at this stage I have no car anyway as it is a write-off; I type with my left hand and do much else with my left hand. Who knew the left (sinister) hand could prove so beneficial. Getting dressed or undressed, bathing, brushing my teeth is difficult but not impossible. Flossing is impossible. Daily tasks are difficult. Sorting out the new townhouse is difficult.

I give thanks to G.d that it wasn’t worse. My family has been hugely supportive and helpful.

Davey’s face book message:

 Never wait for tragedy to strike before you tell someone that you love them. I could’ve easily have lost my mom in a car accident yesterday, but she survived. While she was lying on the ground next to her car which was flipped, bloodied and bruised, I told her that I love her and I prayed for her. Seems crazy that something like that had to happen for me to tell my mom how much I love her. New perspective on life!

If you enjoyed this post please consider commenting (I always respond) and sharing. Thank you.

47 Comments on moving home – 3 – and car accident

  1. by now you are well on the way towards physical recovery. I was taught the left represents spirituality, which you seem to have good clarity over and the right is physical, which seems to be a challenge for you at the moment. I am glad to hear the outcome wasn’t worse and wish you a speedy recovery. I am also looking forward to reading more of what I have missed in the last month or so. Best wishes Ida

    • Thank you Ida and lovely to see you here. I was hit on the left side of the car and damaged on the right .. believe me I am pondering this!
      Thank you for your good wishes … all will be well, all will be well, and I hope this is so on your side.
      Best to you,
      Susan

      • Hi Susan, I saw a movie the other night and I immediately thought of you when I heard lines to the effect of ‘sometimes accidents happen for no reason – and we just heal’ on the other hand (no pun intended) a brilliant and deliberately non copyrighted book I have by Annette Noontil – The body is the barometer of your soul II – She wrote that accidents on the left side of the car are a jolt to look into your spiritual direction and learn from everything you do… She also has a very specific hand drawing that details what each finger (and each bone) represents too… eg Thumb – flexibility, First finger – Intellect, Second – Common sense, Third – Feelings, Fourth – Ability to communicate. Email me if you want more specific for each bone… hope this helps 🙂

        • Ida, that is so interesting thank you. I have wondered why I was smacked on the left side of car and right hand so badly damaged as a result. Actually the pins in 2 of my fingers were removed in surgery this past Thursday under anaesthetic … These were put in the afternoon of the accident so the pins have been in for 7 weeks. It’s my forefinger and middle finger that were severely damaged (almost chopped off); the ring finger next to middle finger was also damaged but not as badly as the other two. So it seems my common sense and intellect were given a hiding. And what you say about my spiritual life needs looking at makes sense to me.. And for this I thank you deeply. I sense I need to ponder all of this a great deal. I am still extremely limited in use of my right hand…and feel a bit desperate sometimes about it all….

  3. I’m glad you are alright. What a terrible time for something like that to happen. But it seems like you were getting your new home in order over the weeks, so I hope there is not too much left for you to do.

    My get-well gift to you is the request that you not worry about responding to my comments. Save your typing for more important things. I know you read them.

    No worries.
    Take care.

    • Too kind Christine thank you! (to say not to worry about responding .. a lovely gift!)

      Yes a lot was done pre the move but o my goodness, a lot still to be done!

      I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

  4. Thank to God you are safe and are here with us. Happy for support by your family and I appreciate your efforts for writing this article by single hand.

  6. The outcome here was very fortunate, but still what a terrifying experience and a hassle in the aftermath. We never know when things like this can happen and your son’s FB message makes an important statement.

    Lee
    Wrote By Rote

  9. Your son’s message moved me to tears. My goodness … I’m glad you’re okay, even if not as before … but with time, you’ll hopefully get back to normal. What a terrible moment. When I get home, I’m going to hug my family. Hugs to you, Susan.

    • sylvia, thank you. sorry no caps..left hand typing. yes, hug family often. a hug from me to you is hula-hooping over the airwaves. remember to catch it.

  10. Hi,
    It is so nice to know that you are recuperating and getting well. The grace of God was with you and the mercy of God protected you and kept you alive. That it has rekindled the love among you and your children is wonderful. That in itself is a big blessing.

    Continue to recover and take the time to heal. All of those things that you think you need to do can wait. People are important, not things.

    Love you.

    Shalom,
    Patricia

    • thank you so much patricia for your wise words and also for the reminder that things can wait – people are more important.
      by the grace of G.d it was not more serious. no-one was killed.
      love you,
      susan

  11. Dearest Sissy. I’ve been waiting and watching to see when you would be able to blog again. So glad you have and so happy to see the meaningful responses from your wonderful friends and Davey’s fb message. Did I tell you our brother called me and said “aren’t we so lucky to have our sister?” I think you are so brave, Sis, and terribly thankful it wasn’t worse for you – although more than bad enough. I love you very much. You are a kind, generous, gentle sissy.

    • thank you dear sis. mike helped me put it up correctly. thank you for your lovely words, i too am glad i am still around. yes the comments have been so great and i am blessed to have you, our brother, our families, friends around. you are the best sis one could hope for – or, as our father would say, for whom one could hope. i love you too.

  12. While I’ve been intrigued by the stories of your moving, I was most troubled that you were hurt in a terrible crash that could’ve easily killed you. Yes, it is difficult to even temporarily loose the use of your dominant hand, but do not give up entirely on flossing. Use your foot. Wrap the floss around your big toe and go at it. You may have to use longer segments of floss until you limber up a bit, but it can be done. The piano may prove slightly more difficult. Heal well and be safe,

    • van, thanks so much for your comment. i have spent a sleepless night wondering whether this feat can be achieved and begum and begorrah, why not. i will keep you posted re progress. this is sure to keep me on point and on my toes. will bandage big toes so that floss doesn’t hurt as it tightens while being contorted.

      • I was sorry to hear your vehicle was a total loss, and I do hope you have the means to recover from that as well as from your injury. My thoughts also go out to the truck driver and to the cyclist if either survived, and to their families if not.

        Yes, Susan, it’s a good idea to pad the toe. And also remember should you decide to floss in public, be mindful of your dignity. Otherwise, passersby could presume incorrectly of your level of shyness.

        • van, thank you for extra encouragement re flossing, though i think it would be easier if i just didn’t eat. will drink rather.
          the truck driver escaped without injury; the cyclist was hurt and taken to a hospital different to mine. i am trying to track him down to see how he is and hope to do this, this week. i will let you know.
          all best wishes,
          susan

  13. I guess I won’t be getting a ride back home from the Gautrain on my return!
    Seriously Suzie, thank goodness all is OK albeit inconvenient. Davy’s comment had me gulping back the tears. He and Rich ………….. .
    Thinking so much about you. See you in a couple of weeks.
    Your oldest, oldest.
    Lynda.

    • Hello oldest pal, so great to hear from you lyndy. I can imagine, now that you say about richard, you gulping back the tears. hope all going great in london. sorry no no airport lift this time round pal. love to you and rich.

  14. Number one thing Susan is that I am so very glad you will be fine. Yes the demons do come visiting at the most inopportune times in life. Did I mention that my heart went into my throat when I read this in spite of knowing about a car crash and a mangled hand? Good Lord in all ways knows how to serve his purpose for those who serve theirs so very well. Number two thing is I love your son Davey very much. He is a lovey and a very brave guy for sharing that personal and oh so important message with his friends and yourself. You must be so proud of both your boys for stepping up in your time of need. Not everyone has that and I am so relieved you do. Chin up Susan – awesome days ahead for you and those you love. Hugs from the heart, Lesley

    • Lesley, how great to hear from you thank you. good that the demons stirred you there a bit. did you see my friend susan’s comment re jupiter and uranus and the zeus thunderbolt. this is susan here in johannesburg. i call her gan, short for ganesh.
      How lovely to say about davey lesley. I will say to him to read the comments. I don’t think he reads my blogs, i think mike who helped me type up blog, must have let him know, as he was the first to comment. yes I am proud of my boys, we are blessed indeed. mike is still here helping until saturday. davey flew back to cape town last friday.

  16. Dear Susan,

    Flossing — I hadn’t thought about that. So many little things we don’t think about. As we grow older and through that our lives are enriched, we find how much the little things mean. I always say I love you to my daughter and to my brother on our phone calls, and we hug on the rare occasions we see each other– they both live a day’s drive from me. I give thanks every day for them and for my two granddaughters.

    I am so glad you are O.K. — a miracle, thank the goddesses. I do wonder about the motorcyclist. Each of the comments here from your friends is so meaningful, poignant.

    I cannot imagine losing you. You have become a special part of my life now. So do stay awhile.

    I am going to try to post Davey’s FB message on my FB page. How very touching. It gives us thought.

    I pray your hand will heal completely and soon, and your psyche.

    Love, Carol

    • Carol, thank you so much. Your comment means much to me. You too are a special part of my life and I would dread your not being there. You stick around, I’ll stick around. Yes,the goddesses, the goddesses, am thanking them…thank you too Carol. X x

  17. Hello Ja…..have been wondering how you are…….I had no idea you had flipped your car….nor that you had had surgery. I can tell you that on that day, you had transiting Jupiter conjuncting your Uranus in the third house which can translate into a hypercharged klap from Zeus….one of his thunderbolts involving short distance travel…..but what do you know about the truck and the truck driver ?….that might shed some further light on the matter.
    Take care with your hand….speak soon.

    • thanks gan – sorry no caps here – left hand typing but thanks for your comment and illumination about zeus giving me a hyper-charged thunderbolt and flipping my car while engaging in short term travel. needless to say after that thunderbolt, the wheels re police and case number etc are turning at a snail’s pace. i want to ask after motor cyclist and how he is and plan to set wheels in motion this coming week – unless the planets have other surprises in store. i think i must klap back at the truck driver. land line tel no remains the same. seeing doc in morning for stitches coming out i think. pins plates etc remain for longer.

  18. thank you linda so much. i can’t think of anything sadder of not having my sons at hand to tell them that i love them, but i know that wherever they are they will know this. we can never tell one another ‘i love you’ enough so i am saying this now.

  19. I’m glad your ok Susan…but also horrified.
    Your son makes some valid points..I always say the same thing now to people I love.
    I wish I would of had that chance with my son when he was murdered.
    At the age of 18 someone put a bullet in his head because they were jealous of his success. I gladly would of taken that bullet if I had the chance. Life hits hard, and doesn’t give you a chance at that very single moment of impact to have a say…….
    So as your son looks up into the sky and looks to thank someone who kept you on this earth after that crash…he will remember to always say those words…mom I love you……just because he can. :))).
    Susan…I love you too….I still say if you need anything, just ask…..I intend to get over by you in the next few months…as promised…

  20. What a horrific experience. I am still stunned and thankful you are alive. Plus, I have learned too how useful my left hand really is. But, most of all this brings up so many feelings for me… our end of life issues, leaving a beloved home (whether acknowledged or unacknowledged), unacknowledged incomplete issues, but the most important part of your story is the love. How many people die before their family learns to say the three magic words, “I love you.” Knowing and feeling your family’s love is so critical and wonderful. You truly are blessed.

    • thank you gwynn so much. sorry no capital letters etc – not so easy with left hand – mike helped me do the blog correctly. i think you hit the nail on the head re unfinished issues and those three magic words. and yes, i am blessed and give thanks for my blessings. xx

  21. Dear Susan;
    Your comment about flossing brought it all down to earth. And, Davey’s comment about love that you included. Both true and necessary for a full and healthy life. May the demons at the crossroads be gone now!

    • i thought you would appreciate the non-flossing susan. yes i hope those demons are gone now …
      thank you so much for commenting.

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