wound

Please note that I’m regarding the myth of Lilith as just that, a myth. Myths and fairy tales, legends and stories from time past and present, have something of the eternal about them and speak to contemporary issues that we face in our daily lives.

Lilith (first wife of Adam in the Garden of Eden according to the Midrash – see previous post) was banished to the depths of the Red Sea to be never seen or heard of again. In one fell swoop, all that she had known, unity in the Garden, was ripped from her.

 We’ve all experienced those dreadful times when we’ve been utterly lost in our grief and sadness; personal illness or that of our loved ones; when life is a constant uphill battle and the inner and outer worlds seem to conspire against us.

Sometimes, when in crisis, it is important to do nothing for a while and just sit in the awfulness of it. It is not the time to jump out of the fire to avoid the burning, but to endure and sit in the flames. It is not the time to frantically search for answers, immediate resolution. It is a time for no-action, patience, endurance.

I see Lilith in her exile, in the flames, sitting, with her knees drawn to her chest, her chin resting on her knees, her arms and hands wrapped around her legs. She sits; she doesn’t move. She knows she has to be here; now is not the time for her to escape. For the moment she must just sit, in the flames, and resist the temptation to jump out of the fire and not be burned. She must be burned. But the fire slowly strengthens her. She kindles the fire adding new branches to the furnace to keep the flames burning. She is kind to the fire. She feels akin to it. She stirs the ash. Perhaps she is reminded of things of beauty that were fashioned after being in the fire, beautiful crystal glass work, ornamental beads, clay pots, beautifully crafted and fired, made from the same substance as she. She feels that she is slowly being forged and fashioned, that the fire is strengthening and purifying her. Perhaps she wonders in some way if this is an alchemical process, one that takes a long time and furthermore, she knows not what lies in store for her. She feels in the absolute stillness of doing nothing, a dynamism. She senses the paradox in this, knows that stillness and movement somehow belong together even if they appear to be completely opposite to each other. She feels her blood quicken in some barely discernible way. Her frozen heart is melting. She feels a sharpening of wits, while at the same time a lessening of her previous bonds. She feels looser yet tighter at the same time. Her perceptions and attitude change. She sees that there is more. It seems to be out of her grasp but worthwhile reaching for and waiting for.

Lilith is in the fire and also in the depths of the Red Sea, wet, not only from those watery depths, but also very much from her tears. Tears of rage, frustration, anger and deep, deep sadness at her plight. How in the name of heaven did it come to this? A life of mutual joy and co-operation with Adam was not to be. She was rejected not only by him, but because she used His ineffable name in her rage (according to the legend), she was cast down, discarded, exiled and thus thrown upon herself. Perhaps from her personal experience of rejection, surely the deepest wound to her psyche, she learned never to be the instrument of rejection, hurt and wounding. Her own wounding showed her the path. From her extreme anger, disillusionment and sadness, there was a glimmer of the potential of its opposite, that of compassion and joy.

We are all daughters of Lilith and Eve; they are present in our modern psyche. We feel annihilated sometimes, invisible, unworthy, not free to act or choose, to remain submissive and demure. We lose touch with our earthy and passionate nature, our need for solitude sometimes, our connection with the dark moon.

Highly charged emotions are valuable in that they are meant to disturb us, so that we do not ignore them; that they are brought out of the festering dark. The deepest work is usually the work on the very darkest corner of our souls. Do not reject the corner stone, those other unknown parts of one’s self. ‘The stone which the builders rejected has become the corner stone’ (OT Psalms 118 vs 22). Destructive tendencies such as self-sabotage can be transformed into something more refined and spontaneous and joyous. Reflection is never easy, yet it is work worthy of the effort for the rising consciousness of the dark feminine and for unity to once more be re-gained.

Like all archetypes, Lilith has two polarities. We may be inclined to call one side positive, the other negative, but this is not wise as it is a value judgment. All modalities of Lilith are  experienced within ourselves, her dark and light, her manic and depressive moods, the sinner and the saint, her strengths and vulnerabilities, her wildness and her conformity. The sun and moon, seeming opposites, belong with each other.

creation_bhajjushyam3

Sitting, for such a long while as Lilith did in the depths of the Red Sea, pondering, reflecting, allows us as humans the space to connect with our elemental core, thus bringing consciousness and healing to the fore.

Images: courtesy Google images.

Next post: Serpent as symbol, agent of change and transformation

58 Comments on Lilith in Exile

  1. Hi Susan – I’m way behind (still) … but “the wound is where the light enters” is so true … something I experienced reading this. Nila sent me Muriel Maufroy’s “Rumi’s Daughter” to read … I need to learn and appreciate more … this was excellent to read … cheers Hilary

  2. Gratitude is important to all of us, especially during a time of healing and recovery. Finding something to be thankful for will lighten the darkness, until gradually the balance shifts, and we needn’t sit in the fire any longer as Lilith discovered… I agree that “fire time” is essential to recovery when we have been hurt… Another wonderful post, Susan. Thank you 🙂

  3. Reading this is like taking a deep deep breath and letting out a long heartfelt sigh. Thank you Sue

  4. The Rumi quote is a gem, a favorite of so many for good reason. This post is wonderful, Susan. Thank you.

    I agree about sitting in the loss/rage/despair and letting it transform us. Yes to tears and anger and alchemical transformation. Sometimes I felt I would drown in grief and displacement after my husband’s death. Instead, much transformed.

    I’ve spent more time with other goddesses who hold the dark energies such as Kali or Durga, Isis or Demeter. I hadn’t imagined Lilith wet before reading this. You remind me that Lilith must have her own polarities as everything does. I’m so glad to read this series and learn from it.

    • Thank you for commenting Elaine. Lilith was also known as the handmaiden of Inanna if I remember correctly who went through hell in the underworld and was transformed in the process. Thank you for mentioning Demeter and Durga, Isis and Kali all of whom had their polarities.

      Thank you also for saying about your own transformation on the grief of your husband.

      • I forgot that Lilith has a small role in the Inanna myth. She takes residence in the Huluppa Tree and is called the Dark Maid. She’s unwelcome. Time to re-read my favorite Inanna text, ‘Inanna, Queen of Heaven and Earth’ by Diane Wolkstein & Samuel Kramer, to pick up forgotten pieces. I studied the myth intensively some years ago and will present the Descent to the Great Below in a workshop with Jean Raffa in March 2016.

        • Thanks Elaine – I didn’t remember that she was unwelcome! How wonderful that you’re presenting The Descent to the Great Below (wonderful title!) with Jean next year …!

          • That’s the short title I use, not the formal title.
            Fri. night focus on dreams as guides during illness and grief. Title: “The Lessons of Mortality and Grief: Loss as an Initiation into Self”
            Sat. workshop focuses on Inanna myth as guide to loss. “Journey into the Underworld: Ancient Myth as Contemporary Guide”
            It will be in Sarasota FL with the Jung Society there. I had an intuition we should go for it and it’s happening.

  5. Susan, I’ve read and re-read your post a few times since yesterday, and I’m moved to tears each time. I’m not exactly sure why it has affected me so profoundly, but it feels like your words have burrowed their way into my core and are settling in for a prolonged occupation.

    The concept of “sitting in the fire,” of enduring our pain instead of hiding from it or trying to escape it, of learning from it and learning *how* to learn from it–so powerful.

    I have nothing more coherent to say at this point, other than thank you.

    • Kern, thank you. I am moved by your response. May the the fire and the water (your precious tears) be fructifying for your tender heart.

  6. I really enjoy the richness of this Susan, and am having to sit with it. I think I come to this exploration with a different “take” on Lilith and now the invitation is to open it all up a little more.

  7. Another quick note, I forgot to change the link to my website in the post above — I’m mid-way through doing a bit renovation of the website so my normal website address is temporarily down. This one should work though 🙂

  8. I loved your take on Lilith trial in the flames,and how in the end the fire feeds her and she feeds it. What a great metaphor for any kind of trial we find ourselves going through!

  9. ‘The wound is the place where light enters’….love this, and have experienced this in my Christian faith. Sometimes it’s only when we are in darkness that we can even see the light….although we hate to suffer. Love the contrast though, and can’t help but remember a dark, lost time when my father died young. Interesting too the Lilith myth and the scorn of women, and how modern women today have seen positive societal changes in the attitudes toward women. It was only a short time ago that my own mother was denied following a dream because she was a woman. We have a voice like never before it seems. Thanks Susan!

    • Thanks Sharon – and while I agree that in many western countries our voice is more audible and clear, in far too many places around the world (including here in South Africa re our indigenous population) women are still accorded 2nd class status – there’s even a certain amount of collusion in this. And women, irrespective of where they are, still undermine other women …

  10. Indeed, all we can do sometimes is sit and wait, let time work its medicinal magic. I enjoyed reading this, Susan. Many of our life lessons come from exactly such myths.

  12. Hi,
    Again a very well established argument for what you are presenting. And it is so that there are times when we have to stay in the fire, and the dross that hold us back or keeps us from facing who we are and what we want to become, has to be burned with intense heat so that pure silver or gold comes through reflecting our true “us.”
    Enjoyed reading this.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

  13. This post is filled with beautiful imagery…I especially loved seeing Lilith sitting with her arms around her legs amidst the fire in the depths of the Red Sea…and deep wisdom. I love your writing. Thank you.

  14. Beautiful Susan, enjoyed reading the post, very enlightening. I was thinking of some very tough times I faced sitting in the darkness and experiencing the flame… which needed to purify me in order to reach a place where I love without making any judgements and reach out to those who are very vulnerable.. thanks for sharing, and also reminding me that lilth is a myth… still very fascinating to know and understand her… my internet has not been working; glad now that I can reconnect with you, looking forward for more posts… thanks for sharing

    • Thanks Genevive. That’s very profound what you say about not making judgments, reaching out in love, reaching out to others who are vulnerable. We’re all vulnerable in our way – yet sometimes afraid to show this to others, even to ourselves …

  15. Hi Susan. Loved the way you have portrayed Lilith’s time in exile, especially when she is in flames. Very profound and gives a lot to ponder on!

  16. Dear Susan. I felt every word very personally. Thank you. I will be taking this with me on the Camino to give me strength. Thank you very much. Xx

    • Thank you Debora – so glad the flint struck. Go well on the Camino and persevere. You’ve been through fires before – xxx

  17. Ah … be kind to the fire. Therein lies the alchemical transformation. You wrote this just for me, didn’t you, Susan. Or so it seems. I suspect others feel the same.

    Thank you. Just what I need.

  18. Hope and depression are constant companions in any age but mostly when in a period of Financial Recession as at present. Many of my friends are doing wonderful voluntary work in raising hope among the hopeless.

    Thank you Susan

    Kind thoughts

    Gillian

    • Thank you Gillian, financial depressions/recessions certainly add to life’s woes. Voluntary work raising hope to the hopeless is wonderful … bless them all.
      Kind thoughts to you,
      Susan

  19. Your wise post arrived just in time for me. To me it is a reminder of trial and tribulation… that it takes both to make us stronger. We need the flames of life to forge us into becoming better and stronger humans. Sometimes we forget that we have to work through the dark or the flames to get to the light.

    It is easy sometimes to become passive and forget that we need both light and dark in our lives… as does any growing thing. We all need the sun and the darkness to grow. Thank you for reminding me!

  20. Love your take on Lilith’s banishment–she knows she must be there so she sits, while the flames burn her. And slowly they strengthen her. So true. Much of what I value I got through pain, effort, and patience.

  22. Dear Susan;
    Certainly a project worth doing. I am glad you are focused on it.
    Thank you.
    Susan

  23. “Highly charged emotions are valuable in that they are meant to disturb us, so that we do not ignore them”
    Excellent words to remember

  24. Is the Exile the “wound” that one can be thankful for? Very lovely photo can be used for chapter heading at next book. cheers.

  26. Fell in love with this one, Susan….again, my usual complaint — there’s no option to re-blog!!!! Lots of love, sharing on Facebook, Mira

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