Sometimes, when in crisis, it is important to do nothing for a while and just sit in the awfulness of it. It is not the time to jump out of the fire to avoid the burning, but to endure and sit in the flames. Julian David, a Jungian analyst resident in Devon U.K., gave a lecture to the Jung group here in Johannesburg, South Africa some years ago. I made a note of his words from that lecture: ‘When you are in the fire, when you are burning in the flames, you have to sit in the fire, to be strengthened. If you try to protect yourself you are not strengthened‘. It is a time for no-action.

I see Lilith in the flames, sitting, with her knees drawn to her chest, her chin resting on her knees, her arms and hands wrapped around her legs. She sits; she doesn’t move. She knows she has to be here and now is not the time for her to escape. There is nothing else she can do. She must and will endure. In the flames, she must resist the temptation to jump out of the fire and not be burned. She must be burned. But the fire slowly strengthens her. She kindles the fire adding new branches to the furnace to keep the flames burning. She is kind to the fire. She feels akin to it. She stirs the ash. Perhaps she is reminded of things of beauty that were fashioned after being in the fire, beautiful crystal glass work, ornamental beads, clay pots, beautifully crafted and fired, made from the same substance as she. Slowly she feels that she is being forged and fashioned, that the fire is strengthening her. She feels purified by the fire. Perhaps she wonders in some way if this is an alchemical process, one that takes a long time and furthermore, she knows not what lies in store for her. And she feels the absolute stillness of doing nothing, a dynamism. She senses the paradox in this, senses that stillness and movement somehow belong together even if they appear to be completely opposite to each other. She feels her blood quicken in some barely discernible way. Her frozen heart is melting. She feels a sharpening of wits, while at the same time a lessening of her previous bonds. She feels looser yet tighter at the same time. Her perceptions and attitude change. She sees that there is more. It seems to be out of her grasp but worthwhile reaching for and waiting for.

Lilith is in the fire but also in the depths of the Red Sea, wet, not only from those watery depths, but also very much from her tears. Tears of rage, frustration, anger and deep, deep sadness at her plight. How in the name of heaven did it come to this? A life of mutual joy and co-operation with Adam was not to be. She was rejected not only by him but also by G.d, discarded, exiled and thus thrown upon herself. Perhaps from her personal experience of rejection, surely the deepest wound to her psyche, she learned never herself to be the instrument of rejection, hurt and wounding. Her own wounding showed her the path. From her extreme anger and sadness, there was a glimmer of the potential of its opposite, i.e. that of compassion and joy.

Mr. Nelson Mandela endured 27 years in exile on Robben Island, yet he emerged victorious after his isolation, with his heartfelt message of peace, compassion and humility. And above all, forgiveness. He has stated that he saw those years of confinement as necessary for his development as an individual in that he gained a broader vision of his place in the world. He stated in his autobiography, that the only way to make an impact on society and one’s fellow man is to effect a change in one’s self. It is necessary, he said, to let your fellow man know that you pose no threat to him. He is a living example of how one person can make a difference and a living symbol of what can be transcended. Even his name is like a mandala. There was no place in his heart for bitterness.

For Lilith in the watery depths and Mr. Mandela in prison, there was a sense of trust and hope that there was a way of being, beyond the confines of the given world at that moment even though, given their circumstances, it precluded the ability to exert any control over it.

All each could do was to fall back only on themselves and wait until events conspired in their favour.

23 Comments on Lilith-her crisis in the depths of the Red Sea

  1. This writing made me realize just how much we let society dictate what our actions are after a traumatic experience. When I got back from that POW camp in Iran, I was told by therapist, family and others: that I should hate the Muslims and I needed to cry and get angry to get it all our for closure. I just never got mad at the country or the religion. I had a lot of good memories of acceptance in Iran from my students, I had a lot of good times with them. There still is no hate in me for them. I understand that Muslim FANATICS are the ones that hurt people and cause chaos. I’ve realized a lot, but still do not hate, and Nelson Mandella said it best in his speech, your right!

    http://www.loris-song.com

    • Hello Lori, and thank you for your comment on Lilith in the depths. It seems that you too have been into the depths yet have come out of them with no hate towards those who caused you pain and deep hurt. I am so pleased that Mr. Mandela’s words found resonance with you .. we can’t ignore them. Praise to be to Allah (peace be upon Him).
      All best wishes,
      Susan

  7. Hello Catharine, thank you so much for commenting! Yes, wouldn’t it be wonderful if some fires as you say could be avoided.
    On depression …no-one wishes that on anyone as it is deep and dark and immobilising. But, an analyst once said that depression can be a gift from the gods. I take that to mean that we can’t escape the fact that there are times when we fall into that pit of depression. What are we to do with that? Fight it? With what? I’m for medicine if the person is totally dysfunctional and immobilised but if the person can weather the storm and go deeper into one’s self to find the root of it with no hidden agenda, then it could be a gift indeed. I think of a friend of mine who took Prozac when she found out her husband was having an affair which sent her into a tail spin of depression and she was indeed suicidal. The Prozac helped her enormously over this rough period but she also found after a while that she was numbed emotionally by the medicine and stopped it. She didn’t like the no-feeling aspect. It was a brave step for her to go deeper by way of therapy which brought up more painful feelings and emotions and after a long while she was able to face the world again on her terms.

  8. I think some traumas or fires should always be prevented and avoided in
    life–some “fires”, so to speak, such as child abuse or murder–but I agree that
    once suffering takes place, the best thing you can do is grow from it.
    Of course sometimes one has to fight the feeling of depression one
    gets from being in pain, in that sense fight is necessary. Sometimes
    people have to fight to keep from being suicidal, as is well known.
    I hope you get my meaning; I think we’re pretty much saying the same page.

  9. Bless you Patricia, thank you for the lovely comment. I wish you well in the burning … I am so touched that you say that you are in the fire … and that you have a sense that now is not the time to act but just to sit in the ruddy fire and be burned. I am so touched that my words mean something to you Patricia so my grateful thanks for articulating that. I wish you well in the burning … yes Mr Mandela’s words touched me deeply too ….
    Walk On! Walk On! Your words …
    All best to you Patricia and thank you again.
    Susan

  10. My Dear Susan,
    This article has touched me because it is exactly what I needed to read and hear this morning. I am in that fire and I sit here wanting to do something´, to move away from something but know deep within myself, I can do nothing. I have done everything, I could and now I must wait. I am in the fire and learning how to master my emotions, accept myself as I am and not cower under rejection or disapproval from others. Your example of Nelson Mandela was also unique. I didn’t know that. Reading what you have written about him has encouraged me to buy his autobiography.
    To say that I enjoyed your article this morning is an understatement. It came at the right time and I will take what I need from it and build upon my own base.
    Thank you once again.
    Ciao,
    Patricia

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