Lethargy

shadow

I was thinking to myself the other day that the only good thing about lethargy is that it too passes. But this was too easy a thought and dismissive of what lethargy is. In hindsight, I look back at lethargy that was my companion for the last several weeks. I can quite easily describe the sense of it as it pertained to me. I can say I felt wooden, somewhat immobilised, powerless, helpless, heavy – yet I needed to reflect on the why’s and the wherefores and my role in all of this, if any, in relation to my brother who suffers – from depression.

He lives elsewhere, in isolation. He visited for just over a week. He and I were on our own. My husband was away. We walked a bit, played Scrabble. Once I took him for a walk around the Zoo Lake, photo below. He was not open to anything of a psychological nature, like playing with clay or doodling or any in-depth talking. My husband returned from being away for my brother’s last 2 nights here so that was good and timely. My younger son was up in Johannesburg for 2 nights during the time my brother was here, so that lightened the load in a good way. Two dear girlfriends came by at different times to say hello to him and play a game of Scrabble, so that was also nice.

Zoo Lake – late May

zoo lake

Depression: Dear God. An Affliction. We did talk occasionally. But there were barriers. He returned home in early June and we’ve spoken a few times since. One day at a time …

The during and aftermath of his visit has left me with much to digest and I’m doing so in my way. I can only continue to hope and pray that he finds his way in some way. I’m aware that he may not – and that a person has their own destiny to fulfil – 

The changing of the seasons have I think mirrored me in some way – lengthening shadows, cold, heavy, dark.

Last week, preparations were underway for a birthday lunch for me of which my husband took total control. He had no control over the weather though. Sunday was forecast to be bitterly cold. So we brought in tables from outside to inside the day before and re-configured things. The tables looked lovely. The room looked lovely and festive. The fire and heaters were blazing. It was a lovely birthday celebration, much fun and laughter, excellent food (sourced from Giovanni the owner and chef of the best Italian restaurant down the road, anti pasta, lasagne, vegetarian pasta, salads), limoncello, wine, champagne, phone calls and messages from my friends and family, lovely presents I opened later when a few stayed on – it was very very special. As well, a heightened appreciation of my husband who laboriously brought it all together –

I started lightening up from the lethargy last week sometime. I’m attending to things left unattended.

And writing a blog on lethargy.

I’ve also realised that while lethargy has its place, it also has its danger of becoming entrenched. Or at least that was the sense that I had. I could see the possibility inherent in me of becoming fully immobilised, not attending to anything, not attending to my psyche, wanting to just do nothing.

Brexit looms when the UK will know whether or not it will exit the EU. There are ramifications either way and there is tension in that.

The Orlando shootings have happened – I have no words. There will be ongoing ramifications of that, and there is tension in this.

Our country is facing municipal elections in early August and there is much ongoing infighting amongst other issues on many fronts. We are all tense.

Yesterday, I drove to school with my lights on as the day was heavily overcast and visibility low. When I returned to my car the battery was flat as I’d left the lights on – but I was helped by two men who got it going. I was very grateful.

Later on in the day I drove down to the shops for a few provisions as well as to buy a couple of doughnuts for my helpers yesterday, to deliver today when I was again at school (I’m a volunteer for an organisation that assists poor readers). I left the shops yesterday, waited at the traffic lights to change to green, made a right, and was almost side-swiped by a speeding BMW who shot the red lights. It was seriously close, a hair’s breadth .. up ahead I saw a speeding police car obviously giving chase. It’s only a few days to the anniversary of the serious car accident when a truck shot the stop street and upended my car, three years ago on 20th June.

20th June is the winter solstice for the southern hemisphere and it’s also full moon that night. Turning points –

The sun is shining today, though still very cold. The photo below is of my orchids heavily laden with dew on the patio taken just now –

orchidsJune

I reflect that there is beauty among the difficulties and challenges that life presents –

faith

and some words from Clarissa Pinkola Estes – 

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some poor portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip towards an enduring good ..

Thank you for listening –  

63 Comments on Lethargy

  1. Sorry to hear of your struggles, Susan. This has been an unbearably tough year for so many, myself included. I can only hope it will get better.

    We do have to be kinder to ourselves…and to others.

    Your orchids are beautiful. What is bitterly cold in South Africa?

    • Thanks J.H. for coming by – yes really a troublesome year. My housekeeper was saying the same thing yesterday. Your story was amazing and you are courageous in bringing it out.

      Cold? here in Johannesburg we’re 6000ft asl. It’s a biting cold even though the days are sunny and bright. Unlike down in the Cape when it rains during winter. Below freezing at night time – around 8 degrees centigrade right now (9.30 a.m.) though it will warm up as the day goes on.

  2. Just now reading your reflections. Keep your mind on the enduring good, the hopefulness of the seed that will produce and bloom, and allow yourself to give and receive love.

  3. Life… it goes on! Much has happened since you wrote this post… but, all in all, we have little control apart from keeping the Faith! God Bless!! 😉

  4. Such overwhelming things in your world and for so many of us. Lethargy can be restful, a kind of pulling in and away for rest, but it does easily turn to depression. I need a little more lethargy, I think, but when I don’t have something I love to work on, life feels empty and that makes me frantic. Sigh.

    So much to digest with your brother and the way it must touch you deeply. After my brother’s death, I went through a box of my mother’s photos I’d never seen. There were many of him as a child which I can pass on to his family, school photos and other images of American childhood. I noticed how few photos there were of me. He was clearly the favored child, and I’ve known that as long as I’ve been conscious of anything. I didn’t stay in that undertow long.

    I love both final quotes. Thank you for reminding me that sometimes it’s fine to stay in the muddle and let the unconscious do Her work. So now I’ll go outside to water the desperate plants. We’re having an unusual drought here and I have a good well and spring. It’s nice to know I can be of local help. Thanks again, Susan, for honesty and inner exploration.

    • Thank you Elaine for coming by and your recognition of all that is. I agree, a little lethargy can go a good way, but when it becomes an extreme ‘something is rotten in the state of Denmark’ (Hamlet) –

      I called my brother last evening to say it was the full moon and the solstice and therefore (hopefully) a turning point – he liked that. May it be so for all of us.

      Hope the rains come soon. You are fortunate indeed to have a ‘borehole’ and able to help others out. We don’t have winter rains here on the highveld though in other parts of South Africa they are in drought conditions, harvests badly affected, water shortages and so on and on and on … what strange times we live in –

  5. Depression is a tough battle to fight.
    I cannot express my thoughts as I read the part of the BMW nearly clipping you so close to a terrible anniversary.
    The ending quote is a nice summarization of how we can take one day and make it special to someone. The tipping has to be reached.
    Hugs, Susan.

    • Thanks for coming by Liz, so nice to see you here! Thank you for your sympathy re: being nearly side-swiped last week by BMW -. Today is actually the day 3 years back when I was upended, close to our old home, the day before we were moving – which was on the 21st June ..I’m just back from a walk, the shortest day of the year this side of the equator, and full moon tonight! May it be a turning point for the good for all of us 🙂 Hope this finds you well .. and a hug from me to you ..

  6. Thank you for your lovely comment Norah – I especially like your last sentence: ‘There will be lessons learned that may never be recognized, but learned just the same’. This is so true of life – and we’re beholden therefore to do the best we can –

    All is well here in South Africa – I am tired at the moment but attending to what needs attending and awaiting the full moon tomorrow night and the winter solstice – a meaningful time I hope for all, and for the good . 🙂 ..

  7. Hi Susan, I’m pleased you are coming out of your lethargy. It sounds like there may be much at this time of year to set your mind in thinking down. As Anne Lamott’s quote says, it is good to be aware and wait for the light to return.
    I particularly like the quote by Clarissa Estes. We never know the influence of our actions so we must try to make them positive in any way we can. I’m sure your brother benefited greatly by his time with you. There will be lessons learned that may never be recognized, but learned just the same.

    • Thank you for your lovely comment Norah – I especially like your last sentence: ‘There will be lessons learned that may never be recognized, but learned just the same’. This is so true of life – and we’re beholden therefore to do the best we can –

      All is well here in South Africa – I am tired at the moment but attending to what needs attending and awaiting the full moon tomorrow night and the winter solstice – a meaningful time I hope all for, and for the good . ? ..

  8. Hi, Susan. A full spectrum, color balanced light gives an approximation of the same color of the outdoors. It brightens up the room, and can also be considered therapeutic. I got the idea from someone who had SAD (seasonal affective disorder). But for me, it just got rid of some of the laziness that the shorter days bring on.

  9. Susan, the orchid photo is beautiful. Thanks for including it in your post. I like the lake also.

    I agree with your son Mike, about the changing seasons. The winter is much darker. To keep myself feeling energized, I keep three florescent, 40-Watt, color-balanced lamps on in my home office, in addition to the regular overhead lighting. It really helps lift my mood. It also makes everything look nicer.

    • Lovely of you to come by Marilyn thank you! Today is bright and sunny though cold – and as we approach the solstice and the full moon I’m beginning to appreciate more about changing seasons and the affect and effect that ensues!

      WHEN my study is tidy it always looks so much better – a big task in front of me this afternoon! I have good overhead lighting and a lovely lamp – I’ll look into a colour bulb for my lamp – it’s a lovely idea!

      Have a lovely weekend!

  10. My Dear Friend,
    I know exactly where you are. I started experiencing the same things after the A to Z Blog Challenge. It seems as if I fell into a black hole. I had to learn to not fight it and be still before I started coming out of it. Now, as you say, I’m taking one step at a time. I’m learning to relax and move slowly as I pick up steam. So hang in there. You are on course. Accepting that we are in a hard place is always the beginning of recovery.
    Love you, Lady.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Patricia

    • Dear Pat – thank you! I think the A-Z also floored me – more than I realised! What wise words: ‘Accepting that we are in a hard place is always the beginning of recovery’. Acceptance is key …

      Hope all is ok in Germany – I love you too dear Pat. Have a lovely weekend.

      Shalom, Susan

  11. A lovely, reflective post, Susan. A couple of sentences stood out for me:” I’ve also realised that while lethargy has its place, it also has its danger of becoming entrenched.”
    and,” I reflect that there is beauty among the difficulties and challenges that life presents”

    I think it’s important to sometimes just stop and do nothing, or wallow in sorrow, but then it helps to recognize that there are good people, or as Mr. Rogers says, “look for the helpers.” I think your husband was your helper, along with the men who helped you with the car.

    I get very lethargic as soon as the days grow shorter. November and December here, I want to go to bed at 4 in the afternoon or just stay indoors and read.

    I hope your brother finds his way out of his black hole. Wishing you the very best.

    • Thanks Merrill for coming by – that’s such a lovely saying by Mr. Rogers ‘look for the helpers’ and its only now that you say that I note the men being my helpers – 🙂

      It’s funny – I’m the first to say to others about the value of doing nothing – it’s about time I practised what I preach. Somebody ELSE has to say e.g. take lemon ginger and honey if I’m feeling fluey, what I would always say to anyone else .. so thank you for your affirmation 🙂

      Thank you for saying about my brother – and my good wishes to you – have a fantastic weekend.

  12. While Mr. Sun nods off into the Western Sky, think also that you are in God’s Cradle, safe and sure that the Sun always comes back in the morning, gently smiling at you!

  13. There is a lot of unexpected good that can come from a group discussion about lethargy and the rhythmic universe we live in, which includes tides. All of Life’s Turmoil may magically change into still waters, like lead into gold. Many of my days are filled with demanding tasks, fatigue, and meager results. The “opposite” of all of this is the later part of the day when I “detach” myself, lay back, and do something directly that is Botanical.
    I discovered VALENCIA ORANGES! What a marvelous fruit we were given on this planet! The juice is the juiciest and sweetest you can find. Refrigerated is best. Don’t think of anything, just study the color and reflections of light off the moist peeled orange. Enjoy Valencia directly, and not from a bottle. Think of the 28 cycles of the tides caused by the gravitational pull from the moon. Think also of the daily love of your juice as your place gently spins on Earth’s axis, before Mr. Sun begins to nod off into the Western Sky.

  14. May it be passing lethargy with the change of season. Luckily hibernation is a choice for most humans … but the pull to go there can be strong.

  15. Nice post, ma. Ya, for what it’s worth, I’ve also felt the slow-down, I really think it has to do with the changing seasons. People I’ve spoken to, and stories I’ve heard about other people here in Plett, are also feeling it. But, I think it’s seasonal, and I’m trying to welcome the change – has been a busy time and I’m glad I stayed behind and didn’t go to Annecy. Felt like a time to rest, and not do too much. Like the tide – comes in and goes out. Looking forward to seeing you soon!

    • Great to see you here Mike! Thanks for coming by. It does seem as if there’s a generalised slow down/malaise or whatever it is. Rest is good and glad you have the opportunity to do just this. I like what you say about the tides – following their natural rhythm … though don’t be surprised if there are HUGE tides in Plett over the full moon time, next week.

      Much looking forward to having you here in Johannesburg..

  16. “I’ve also realised that while lethargy has its place, it also has its danger of becoming entrenched.”

    This is what I believe and worry about. I want to learn from my lethargy and then go out into the world a better person, but if I tune into what is going on in the world at large I become more entrenched in lethargy. I often feel caught between a rock and a hard place. Not knowing what, or how, to do that which needs to be done.

    • Hi Ally Bean – thanks for coming by. The news is pretty grim around the world and I honestly think this wears us down … but at the same time I do not want to get caught up in its awfulness. It’s such a tricky line and difficult to find the middle way in among it all…

      A rock and a hard place is how it seems much of the time. Maybe it is time to be still and not do anything – at least for a while. I wish you well – may it all shift. Perhaps the full moon on Monday may shift some energies?

  17. Hi susan ! it appeared that this post was written to me; after my extensive travel .. I have been down with fever for over a week and was feeling terrible; demotivated, and was wondering whether I should get back to work or take some more time off my work place.

    I couldn’t take off as the situation demanded that I reach my work place… so I did pushing myself, was feeling very lethargic and till yesterday and then I had to accept this part of me and move on…. I have been taking cabs to work and for the last two days have started riding.. .. feeling better today. Thanks for sharing, I felt I am not alone…. belated wishes to you, love and hugs 🙂

    • Thanks for coming by Genevive but sorry to hear about fever for a week – that’s a long time. I really hope you’re completely on the mend. We do have to push ourselves sometimes in spite of feeling terrible. But I’m glad you’re on the mend and may this continue …

      Thank you for your lovely wishes 🙂 xxx

  18. Dear Susan – Depression is being better understood – or probably a realisation as to the seriousness it can reach with people … some are able to pull themselves through, some encouraged to do so … but each individual is so different and reached that ‘low point, or worse’ through their life of living.

    I’ve encountered some … it’s a terrifying disease – as we don’t know which way, as you mention, that person will ‘fall’. My thoughts on this …

    How lovely to have that birthday with a wonderfully appreciative hubby … the food sounds delicious! As too the company … which has obviously helped the lethargy … and winter on the Highveld is pretty ‘horrid’ … and cold (very) …

    Brexit is a nightmare … to think I (we) might be living in a chapter of history that will be monumental and affect so many …

    So glad you didn’t get side swiped once again … now not to dwell on the hair’s breadth escape … thankfully that turning point will occur on Monday … perhaps it has as two men helped you re your lights … I’ve done that rather more often than I care to think about – now thankfully the ‘alarm’ goes … and I switch them off!

    The 16th today – a date in SA history … and municipal elections in August – certainly a difficult time for SA – when really it should be up and running happily along.

    Love the orchids … take care and all the best with all those weights around … I’m sure life will ease, while we hope for understanding coming through for others who need to know we are there and they are not on their own …

    All the best – Hilary

    • Thanks so much Hilary for your lovely comment. Yes mental health is being recognised for the seriousness of it. And not just dismissed as ‘pull yourself up your bootstraps’ which is all too often the view taken by too many –

      Today is a bright sunny day, cold. And the 40th anniversary of the Soweto riots. Youth Day – a public holiday here ..

      The lights if on do emit an alarm when I switch the car off – I clearly didn’t hear 🙂 But those men were helpful … I like so much what you say about this.

      Have you moved? I hope this went well and that you are settled – among the unsettling-ness of Brexit –

      Thank you again Hilary – all best to you xx

  19. I definitely understand and can relate to your lethargy. Sometimes I have to call the lethargy ‘breathing space.’ There is much I COULD be doing, but there is so much I have to do with John, that taking time FOR ME is essential so that I can face life.

    You have been dealing with family grief. It is sad and difficult being around someone who suffers from depression. Sadly, unless that person wants to change and climb out of his hole you can’t force change. Consequently, YOU have to take care of YOU.

    The seasons are changing and you are about to start you winter and from numerology’s perspective this is a 9 year… an ENDING. I am watching to see if it will be a good ending or a bad ending. Time will tell. In the meantime, take GOOD CARE of you! Sometimes lethargy is that bubble wrap that we need to protect ourselves from life.

    • Thank you Gwynn for your comment and the emphasis on needing to care of one’s self amid the caring of others – in your case, John.

      I like that 2016 adds up to 9 and its relevance in terms of numerology. May the year end well for us all! Bubble wrap – a perfect analogy! Keep yourself wrapped in it Gwynn and may the unwrapping – in time – reveal the beautiful butterfly that you are 🙂

  20. Dear Susan, you did excellently by citing Ann Lamott, “…letting it be there until some light returns.” I sympathise with all the misery your are experiencing; and I pat you on the back that you are at the same time involved with the woes of others There seems to be a temporary feeling of burnout after you had tilted all your energies on the side of your teaching responsibilities. In a chapter of my published book, I wrote that “When people are depressed, they tend to successfully medicate themselves by sleeping.” The chapter is titled, MOODS, ENERGY, MENTAL FOCUS

    Shalom,
    Joe.

    • Thanks Joe for coming by. A good restful sleep is always refreshing. We can all relate to that! I am lighter and brighter thank you …

  21. I am dwelling in the mess and comfortable waiting for some light to reappear. But tools I’ve used in the past aren’t helping. Someone compared it to being able to ski a small slope and then trying to use the same techniques with Everest.

    • Thanks Beth for coming by. It’s good analogy of skis on a small slope being unsuitable for Mt. Everest. A different kind of slog up the mountain may be necessary – may you find that path and reach it. My thoughts are with you …

  22. Susan, you said a lot here, and I imagine it was cathartic, as it must be for your readers; it is for me. We are connected somehow by your birthday, for it was my maternal grandmother’s birthday and that date is a time for significant and longterm change for me. Lethargy — I am experiencing that just now, after traveling to see my daughter and a busy month of obligations. Now, today, new changes. I need to get up and do something, but so many distractions make it hard for me to make a decision. So, thanks for writing about your experiences and feelings; it helps me. We all feel lethargic and maybe that’s telling us it’s time to just step back and take a break. We’ll see. I don’t think it’s always the same, though.

    Wishing your brother well; and I love your orchids — beautiful, like you.

    • Thanks Samantha for coming by. Yes there was something cathartic about it – writing about it, getting it out from my belly and onto paper (as it were). At least it won’t stay stewing in my gut turning into acid –

      It takes a while to get back into the swing of things after being away – so let it be .. maybe the full moon in a few days time is part of the energy.

      Thank you for your wishes re my brother – it all helps. Positive energy – all to the good. I know you love orchids .. I wonder if I can send you a slip? They are beautiful – like you too 🙂

  23. Dear Susan, one of the many things I love about getting to know you is that you are honest and real…thank you for sharing so openly about a condition that many try to hide from the world. A friend in Oregon once said to me that she thinks of being depressed as being in need of “deep rest.” That does make sense to me. Of course there are degrees of depression and it can get to be a dangerous condition. Yoga, meditation, long walks in nature, good natural food…of course all of this helps – but most of all, unconditional love. Much love from Arunachala, Mira

    • Mira dear, thank you … what a lovely image of depression as being in need of deep rest. Depression forces us downwards, and not many are prepared to descend – no doubt because the ride can be terrifying before the ascent from it ..

      All those things you say about good natural food, walks in nature etc are I’m sure helpful to some degree – though I think the severely depressed person is not motivated enough to make those small steps. At least that’s my experience of being witness to those clutched tight in its claws. Perhaps unconditional love is the least and the most we can offer – thank you for the reminder. Love to you dear Mira, from Johannesburg to Arunachala …

  24. Thank you for this excellent, honest exploration of lethargy, Susan. I think Philippa may be on to something too. It’s a very pertinent issue for our time. I’ve been feeling “unmotivated” since Elaine and I presented our speech and workshop on descent, grief and loss in March, but I thought it was just me.

    We thought maybe the topic might have had something to do with the difficulty we were having motivating ourselves to line up more presentations. And of course, it could. But some of us could also be tapping into a general malaise, a sense of powerlessness about the world’s problems, including ecological issues like global warming, the recent economic depression, and the political situations in some countries. I find myself becoming anxious and a bit hopeless sometimes when I’m exposed to the polarized views on so many issues like terrorism, anti-Islam, anti-gay, anti-women’s rights, and so on. Here in the U.S. the air waves have been full of reports and opinions about these dark and depressing things.

    I believe history will look back on our time and see it as an unusually Dark Age….perhaps even more than the Middle Ages in the Western Hemisphere. I understand that according to Hinduism we’re in the Age of Kali, a dark image indeed.

    It’s good that you’ve brought this out into the open. The depressing world situation no doubt has a toxic effect on our psychological well-being. Constant exposure to the darkness is not healthy for us. We need some light to balance it. How can we make that happen?

    • Thanks Jeannie for your thoughtful reply. It’s affirming to me to know that I’m not alone in feeling this grimness.

      I also think that Philippa is correct in saying that lethargy seems to be universal. I did not know that according to Hindu thought we’re in the age of Kali, dark indeed. But what I know of her is that she is inter alia representative of death – death of the ego. She has a compassionate side, and it us up to us I suppose, individually, to use that expression of her in our lives – death of unhealthy grasping egos – if we are ever to break free from this cycle. The Middle Ages gave way to the age of Enlightenment so perhaps the wheel will turn – in time. Perhaps ‘things’ need to reach full destruction before new birth – so that the Phoenix can rise from the ashes.

      As I mentioned in a comment or two back, there’s something contagious going on, toxic as you say .. and we have to ask ourselves at this time, where do I stand, who do I serve – in the broadest sense.

      I hope you get your mojo back Jeannie –

    • “These are incredibly dark times, in human history. Our blindness is saddening, for with all our current capabilities and developments as a species, many of us still choose unconscious materialistic values based on runaway power and ego pursuits that rule collective human life and devastate the natural world. As each of us seeks a rebirth of the sun, of consciousness, I believe what Jung felt is true: we help the great human soul, for somehow the balance of the collective unconscious changes to some degree. This is a significant offering each of us can contribute to future generations.”
      Monika Wikman, “Pregnant Darkness- Alchemy and the Rebirth of Consciousness.” 2004

      • Thanks for putting this up Vivienne, I hope Jean gets to see it? It was part of your recent blog post I recall which was so lovely …

  25. I don’t believe I’ve ever read a blog post on lethargy, which means you are facing the problem head on, not doing.

    My grown daughter said that one of the lines she remembers me saying is “This too shall pass.” As for your brother’s affliction – “One day at a time.” Platitudes persist because they are true. Thanks, Susan.

  26. Philippa may be on to something. Up here, in California, summer warmth and laziness just arriving, I’m feeling down, too. My family is angry at me, my nephew was killed, my book launch is imminent (which means it could fail), lots of little things just aren’t going well. I’ve started praying every day, and walking the dog.

    Do you think you caught some of your brother’s depression? I try to stay away from people who bring my mood down–it’s just too fragile–but with brothers, of course, you would reach out to help instead. I’ll send positive thoughts your way, Susan.

    • Thank you Jacqui – and I feel for you with all that’s going on. I’m sorry to hear of your nephew’s death and my condolences to all the family. This is very dark and tragic indeed.

      My good friend has a family history of depression. It passed her by – her brother also has it. So we are able to talk about it and we’ve definitely thought that while we may not have it, it could be contagious when amongst those who do have it.

      All good thoughts to you Jacqui.

  27. I slip into periods of lethargy now and then, but to have it as a permanent state or a more-often-than-not state is not at all good. It’s sad when a person gets into a funk that lingers and basically brings their life to a near standstill.

    As you say, we need occasional down time to reflect, introspect, and sometimes just get rested. The world gets me down much of the time as I suppose it does many of us. Not much we can do to change everything, but we can do a little and it begins with our own internal state.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    • Thanks Arlee for coming by. You’re right, it begins with our own internal state, as hard as it may be. Perhaps the biggest struggle of our life-time …

  28. I think lethargy is almost universal right now. Perhaps the sense that no effort will move the mountain in the path of realistic hope! I certainly struggle everyday to overcome the heavy weight.

    • Thank you Philippa for commenting – It’s hard to sit with it, but it’s all we can do. Perhaps it’s more of firstly getting through (like the camel in the eye of the needle) before overcoming?

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