To commit, to make a commitment: a heavily laden concept.

I’ve just had an sms from my sweet sister in Cape Town who said in a word, that she is weeding. I responded to say ‘weed out all those negative thoughts and let the ego take a back seat. Work well … xx’.

I also took a stroll outside to my garden now in the lovely mid-morning sunshine, walked down to the end of it and looked at my secret garden that I fashioned some years ago. Over the years it has been added to, looked at and admired by me. It has a small Ghanian chair on which to sit. The basics of it are still the same with its mandala of bricks and plants planted just so … it is still overhung with beautiful branches and really, it is a delight. One day will commit to sitting on that chair – maybe just sitting, maybe just thinking, or meditating …

It brought me back to my essay “Gardening” wherein I write about this process of creating a secret garden, that no-one could see from any vantage point of my home, even if one goes right down to the perimeter of the garden. You have to know what you are looking for to know that it is there.

I remember writing what hard work this was over many many months, though there were times in-between when the project lay fallow, in part due to seasonal changes .. But what was so interesting and revelatory to me, was that when one commits, the universe seems to support that commitment and the process unfolds.

Somehow, it seems pertinent that this, my first blog, is about both commitment and gardening …

I hope we can get something really interesting and fascinating on the go by way of blogging – about commitment.

Susan

20 Comments on commitment

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  5. SS Blogger….Blogger Scott….
    Sounds good! We wait with puffed up chests, ready to exhale on reading the week’s this and that!!! Actually I was thinking while in the depths of feeling so sick after our return from holiday….Why do we go on holiday? Cos we cant stand being ‘at home’ for too long a period of time in one go? or because we like adventure? or because we hope it will inject much needed energy (via a new sense of purpose) and wonderment? or or or…I think I would say for adventure but I have to say on this hols, I sat with owl sized eyes, sitting on the edge of my seat absolutely paranoid that I would miss a train stop, get into the wrong queue, or order the wrong food…..not much adventure in that!
    Anxiety yes, adventure no! Now you are off to Asia I think in May….any thoughts?
    xxx dididee

  6. OK – Why does commitment have to be “heavily laden”…or is that an individual reality? Could commitment be a sort of relief…..Commitment is sort ‘axe fallen’, on the block, no going back….I am here no matter what! There is a sort of ‘park off’ relief….I can commit….no more crossroads. It is what it is?
    nay?

    • Thanks Di and Debora for yr comments! I was thinking last night that the alternative to commitment is being sort of ‘wishy washy’ about everything. Yes, when one commits, then it is head on the block and no going back. No more dilly dallying, no more indecision. And I do go back and then get upset with myself for not being able to sustain the commitment. For me, on reflection, when this happens is evidence of my self destructive behaviours that manifest in all sort of peculiar ways. Like, when I am already full from a delicious lunch then I OVERDO on the puddings. Momentary enjoyment, endless agonising …
      Have been getting the info out about my book being available on Kindle as free download for the rest of the week and making major stuff-ups in my commitment to put myself out there much as I have an aversion to this .. but if I don’t who will? It is my task … and I must commit to it.

  7. I went for a walk this morning in the early hours – I read the time wrong – I thought my cell phone said 6 a.m. but it was 5 a.m. as I noted when I saw the kitchen clock. Never mind, this was the day of attempting to put into practice the realisation of my personal commitments. For breakfast I juiced carrot, beetroot and apple. It is so strange and awful how unconscious I can be and how this unconsciousness manifests. At a lunch party yesterday I ate sensibly, small helping. But when the puddings were put in front of me I went ape and it is only now when I think back that I realise to my shame (it must be said) I had about 4 or 5 (small) chocolate eclairs, and a few helpings of a meringue pudding. Surely, commitment requires a mind shift. Am now facing some other demons ie trying to get out into the wide world the info re: my book being available on Kindle as a free download for next several days and as usual am facing ‘obstacles’ …

    • Commit……to enjoying the eclairs…………don’t berate yourself and feel guilty about enjoying the delicious sensation of light chocolate melting in your mouth. Surely that is the essence of tasting and eating and …..and….life? So long as you don’t feel ill and nauseous. My dear sister, enjoy the apple, enjoy the cream……………..I can’t think of anything more pleasurable – other than a fag right now!!!!!

  9. ‘commitment’ or ‘to commit’ reminds me a bit of making new year resolutions – the usual ones eg losing weight, exercising, eating more healthily, doing a kind deed a day or whatever .. and then it is so crushing to not keep to the commitment that was made. And the beastly rationalisation for not keeping and sticking to it –
    Another day to try harder …
    Perhaps in terms of losing weight to look at this is a new way. NOT using the word ‘losing’ weight, as this may have a negative connotation, and rather to look at this as a way of ‘gaining’ lightness, gaining good health.

  10. Hmmm……..weeding is actually not what I was doing when I sent that message dear sis…… I sent that sms as a postscript to my last sms regarding gardening. But how interesting it is that this “misunderstanding” has led to such an interesting discussion. And I appreciated your message about weeding out negative thoughts and letting the ego take a back seat – just what I needed at the time, you have no idea!

  11. Thank you Susan! Yes it is good that you have seen it … I want to commit more to USING it now … for the purpose for which it was created.
    Love
    Susan
    Imagine if I invited Susan Ingle and Sue Stott to join in …
    but we must get more active about blogging about ‘to commit’ and what this really means. It poses many questions: a conscious choice for one if one is going to commit, whether this be in a relationship, to the truth .. but we are about to have a storm and I must shut down.

  12. I can see you in that lovely garden, so expansive and seemingly without weeds. I always wonder where they are as it looks so manicured and well tended. I am sure you will tend this site as well with the commitment and love you show the garden,
    Susan

    • Thank you for yr encouragement Susan so beautifully put! Yes, I (or we) could ‘tend’ this garden …

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