It’s always lovely to be home … All is well here, my husband is well and pleased that I am home … he says he missed me so that is nice. The cats are fine and all seems to have proceeded apace in my absence – perhaps this recent adventure of almost 3 weeks could be a sort of a ‘trial run’ for future adventures though I won’t mention this to my husband. It will make him nervous … perhaps he’ll come along next time.

Neil is chillie’d out, ginger and garlicked out, onion and vegetable’d out and almost noodled out since my return… a nice way to eat. Though I think he is hoping for a change of ‘menu’….

This is my first opportunity since arriving home to put pen to paper so to speak. It is a task that needs completion and I have returned after all.

I know that I am yet to fully process this trip in a psychological sense. I know too that I process things after the event, which is not to say that I do not experience them in the moment. But I am a ‘late processor’ whatever that means.

I would love to maybe write/blog more at a later stage about the travels and  maybe introduce a philosophical or psychological slant to it all; and perhaps a photograph or two if/when I learn how to make camera computer friendly. I can click through my camera and view them. I purchased it in Hanoi. Dinky little Nikon with an extendable lens .. My own digital camera! And I can mostly use it! Though I still managed to switch it off instead of pressing button to take the picture….

The traffic in the cities – Hanoi in the north of Vietnam and Ho Chi Minh (Saigon) was absurd. Mad, wild, yet there was an order to it. Crossing the streets – I kept my eyes closed mostly peeking only every now and then in getting across. I am not exaggerating. Motor cycles in their thousands on every street, dashing in and dashing out. A sight to behold. It is really very remarkable and part of the ‘trick’ is, I think, that no-one rushes on their motor cycles. Leisurely pace …faces of men, women and young adults are friendly, relaxed, open and the riders often have passengers, even babies, in front of them and maybe someone else behind. Many with masks around the lower half their faces. There was order in the chaos and this was remarkable to me, and to Susan. Susan was extremely able in crossing. She related the story a friend of her’s told her recently on her return to Phoenix, Az. Her friend said that when she and her husband were in those SE Asian cities some while back, she and her husband would take a TAXI to get from one side of the road to the opposite one when in the cities!

Things were quieter traffic wise in Cambodia though just as hot and humid.

The Killing Fields just outside Pnomh Penh in Cambodia was a very emotional experience. Each visitor is given a set of head phones and one walks at one’s own pace on this audio tour of this dreadful time in the history of Cambodia (earlier known as Kampuchea) under the brutal reign of Pol Pot, beginning 1975. Prior to this, he led the Khmer Rouge …the communist party of Kampuchea. The Khmer Rouge engaged in social engineering, which resulted in genocide. Between 1.75 and 2 million people or more by some estimates are said to have lost their lives, through brutal execution at The Killing Fields, or through starvation, exhaustion and disease. There were memorial stupas with skulls reverently and horrifically on display on this self-audio tour among beautiful trees, plants, flowers, a river, bird song, butterflies. The audio tour was very professionally done, the speaker was sensitive and empathic, a beautiful piece of music was played in honor of the dead. The were benches here and there to sit on and look out on the lakes and listen to the haunting music or listen to the commentary. And also through the earphones was the sound of valedictory singing and marching songs to drown out the yells and screams of those being tortured to death. It was not so long ago …

From Pnomh Penh we bussed to Siem Reap a 6 hour drive away, to see Angkor Wat the next morning. It was extraordinary country, lush, green, homes close to the road. When we finally arrived, we were taken to our hotel from the bus station by Kieng in a tuc tuc who fetched us the next morning to take us to Angkor Wat and the temples. They were beyond magnificent, grand and awesome in scale. I would love to attach some photographs at some stage and write a little more about them. We walked in the humid heat, down passages, into atriums, bowed at Shiva and Buddha, lit incense, said prayers. Keing fetched us at various intervals in the tuc tuc to go to to more temples … altogether an experience and a half.

This blog is already much longer than I wanted and I don’t think I have done it justice. Susan and I did well together – we were good together. We wondered whether in part because we are each rather odd in our way. I think this is true! I know I was blessed to have her as a travelling companion – a true friend indeed who was able to flow with my peculiarities. Susan had to leave a day earlier to return to the States, which worked out well. My last night was spent quietly, re-packing and having an early night before getting to Siem Reap airport the next morning to catch a flight to Bangkok and then back to Johannesburg MANY hours later …

It’s Monday night 28 May. We are in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, arrived ex Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City as it is also known (HCMC) this evening. We walked the busy streets this evening here in PP in search of local food which we found. How to try to distil these last few days into a few words without writing a travelogue?

HCMC … Yesterday .. The Cu Chi tunnels .. An extraordinary maze of tunnels – 250 kms long – built initially in 1948 by the erstwhile peaceful villagers of Cu Chi to fight back and protect themselves from the invasion of the French and then the Americans in the Indo-China conflict. We stopped in at a cemetery called the City of Sorrows where 50,000 Viet Congs are buried, those who lost their lives in this appalling conflict. The cemeteries are beautifully maintained in all parts of Laos and Vietnam. The dead are truly honored. From the Cu Chi tunnels we stopped in at beautiful temple where the religions of Catholicism, Confucianism and Buddhism are blended in the wish to take from each its best and thus to have the perfect religion. We witnessed a service in progress. We lunched, just Susan and I at a local family’s home where we we served the most delicious meal by the most gracious people. Poor, yet all clean and spotless, flowers in pots, chickens running around.

What is it about traveling to unknown places and not going on organized tours and rather finding out about different cultures in our own way and time? What do we hope to achieve by doing this in our rather unorthodox way? We wonder how much we are influenced by our western cultures and how much propaganda we are fed by our own? How important it is, we are coming to realize, to broaden our world view and to see the world through different lenses and not remain trapped in our comfort zones.

we visited the Re-Unification Palace this morning in HCMC. This was North Vietnam and South Vietnam negotiating an end to the conflict between the two regions and was begun in 1975. After we had walked around the Palace we asked two young women at the information kiosk how it was for them that north and south Vietnm was now united? What was interesting is that they said they they look only forward. Evidently they were not a part of the conflict. Susan and I discussed this and thought how true this is that the young lead the way forward and the elders seem to hold on to the past. The past is never to be forgotten since it does to a significant extent determine the future; but how refreshing it was to hear these young women looking forward to the future. I can’t help but think of South Africa and be hopeful that the youth will lead the way for a better future for all….

Phomn Phen … A very poor city is our first impression of walking the streets this evening. We are anxious about visiting the killing fields of the Khmer Rouge tomorrow …. Pol Pot.

We arrived in Hanoi, Vietnam last night. It is blessedly cooler after the heat and humidity of Luang Prabang Laos, and Chiang Mai, northern Thailand. So far so good. Susan and I have walked the streets, eaten where the locals eat and put unknown sauces onto unknown food which has been so delicious, very inexpensIve and nutritious.

We have bused to temples, walked three times around the Buddha while saying the Buddhist prayers. We’ve boated on the Mekong and stopped in at villages along the way. We’ve walked up 328 steps to see another glowing Buddha and made our obeisances to him. We’ve made purchases of beautiful hand made or hand woven goods at a small cost to ourselves in the bustling markets which the locals frequent. We have seen snakes in oil in glass bottles, tiny birds in tiny cages which for a fee you can buy and set free.

Susan and I have talked at length about the people we’ve observed and interacted with. We’ve wondered about the eastern attitude in relation to our western one. We wonder about their way of being in the world, and our western way of being in the world. I feel we can learn much from them. They seem rooted in their culture, so warm and friendly with ready smiles and willing to help where they can.

We wondered whether there is the same striving for economic wealth and material goods that we westerners have. In Luang Prebang,  Laos, now a UNESCO world heritage site since 1995, people have welcomed the economic advantages that this has brought to the country. Do they yearn for a higher standard of living such as we are used to? What may be sacrificed?

we are going to explore Hanoi today. We walk  a lot taking in the sights and sounds.

Later… I am not sure this got posted. So will re try.

Sunday 13 May, 2012.

Just gone 1.30 p.m. …Neil has gone to do some shopping and thereafter to chip a few balls at the golf course which suits me well as I prepare rather haphazardly to pack and be organised for leaving for destination unknown tomorrow morning. Still some bills to pay electronically and a few other things to check and tick off –

I pack light – I have the tiniest pouch for a handbag that will contain my credit card, some local currency to change at the airport either here or there, a lipstick or two, a small dainty mirror from Paris which my son Mike brought back for me recently on his European travels, my cell phone, my ID book, a tiny moleskin notebook & pen, a few toothpicks. I will also carry a small and neat backpack which will carry my Kindle, a book, and my travel documents and room enough I hope to stuff my sleeveless jacket into if it is too hot on arrival in Bangkok where last I heard 2 weeks ago that the temperature was at 37 degrees celsius. I am still to check my itinerary but perhaps I can do that on the plane. Actually I am still to double check my departure time …

My luggage is small enough for me to carry on the plane as hand luggage. It is an extra light bag which weighs only 2.3kg. It has wheels and handles …

It all still seems rather unreal to me … Susan and I will be skyping at 4 my time here in Johannesburg, South Africa this afternoon; her time in Phoenix Az will be 7.00 a.m. One more sleep for each of us and then we each set off to meet up in Bangkok on Tuesday …

I am not sure how I feel – in a sense I am on auto-pilot. I think I am organised. It was not nice however waking up in the early hours this morning with a toothache and realising that I have a slightly wobbly crown which is what is causing the toothache. Will I have the courage to phone my dentist this evening and ask him if he would see me very early tomorrow morning? I don’t even know if he is in town .. Once before when I was visiting my sister in Cape Town I had an excruciating tooth ache which required antibiotics. I do NOT want to go through that again in ‘other countries’ – I do have an antibiotic on hand if I need it but I have nearly choked to death before on those bombs … which makes me think that if I need to see a dentist in Thailand, or Vietnam, Laos or Cambodia then so be it ..

Can anything go wrong at this stage? Besides my tooth? I will be re-assured when Davey my younger son lets me know that he has returned safely to Cape Town, from playing a gig in Plettenberg Bay on Friday night. He is on the road as I write. The trip is about 550 kms.

I was watering my garden yesterday afternoon and wondering how it would look on my return. Is there is enough compost, acid compost and potting soil bought by me a few days ago to keep the gardeners busy? I wondered whether this would be the last time I would ever see my garden … morbid silly thoughts but those are the thoughts that I sometimes have – I do not dwell on them but they do enter my mind.

Will I manage without my laptop? Should I take my cell phone and buy a chip for it in those foreign countries so that I can sms the family and let them know that I am alright?  How will it be in a foreign country? What if .. what if .. what if … but there comes a time when I say to myself amongst my usual angst, to take it as it comes, take it as it comes and hope that Providence will be on my side and the future awaits!  May the future be bright for you!

Sunday evening.

I was watering my garden this evening and looking at ‘creation’. It was in front of my eyes. The green grass, the plants, the late afternoon sky, holding a hose in my hand and walking along watering the newly planted winter plants. Then I thought, we, I am a creation. So that was a bit of an ‘aha’ moment for me. Creation-creativity. I knew too that it was my intention to write a blog tonight, latest tomorrow, so I thought I would write about it now and strike while the iron was hot.

For the last few weeks I have been following a debate in LinkedIn via my WordPress account and adding my tuppence worth commenting back every now and then in the comments section. The debate on ‘nature vs nurture and can creativity be learned or is it innate?’ has continued in a lively fashion via LinkedIn. The debate has broadened considerably. Some of the comments have at times seemed a bit ‘dry’ to me (especially in the early stages when it was highly academic but nevertheless informative), but most of the time I’ve found the comments to very thoughtful, insightful and informative. Others have evidently put a lot of time and effort into adding their very worthwhile comments. Many professionals in different fields have added their voice. I found many of the comments – some of them very detailed – particularly interesting and I am grateful to those who have entered the debate for their expertise and knowledge (mostly men so far interestingly …). Creativity in this debate is acknow ledged in all fields of endeavour whether it be the sciences, nature or business – just think of Apple.

I thought back to some recents comments posted on this above mentioned ‘debate’ while walking along with the hose on my hand, watering. There were some lovely ones – a father evidently, who wrote inter alia of watching a babe on the ground explore with all its senses – a lovely image. Someone else commented on Leonardo and Michelangelo and the different other talents these artists also had and how these talents were employed in their creations e.g. their knowledge of anatomy, astronomy. Much else besides ..

For the purposes of this blog I am going to write a bit about creativity and how I see it pertaining to me.

We had breakfast mid-morning at a new place up the road. Sons Mike and Dave, husband Neil and myself. A lovely, bright, sunny, warm autumn highveld day. A lovely occasion to be with our sons, prior to their departure this afternoon to Sun City, to attend the SAMA awards held over two nights (South African Music Association). Mike is one of five who has been nominated in the video section. He is responsible for the latest GoldFish video.

Mike arrived last evening from Europe where he’s been for the last 3 weeks. At breakfast this morning he showed us photographs and videos on his smart phone taken on his recent trip, tout sole. There were many works of art in various museums he visited. He took photographs outside too – musicians busking inter alia – one of a man who had champagne glasses lined up with coloured liquid in them, and wet his fingers and made the glasses ring and sing. One indoor photograph was of the actual passage on his floor at one of his hotels .. an extremely striking photograph and one I may appropriate for the cover of my next book. I already said to him this morning, I wondered whether that picture could be stretched onto a canvas somehow. Mike’s eye in capturing that particular passage was a work of art; so too is the smart phone that he used in its aiding of the capture; art too, in the passage just being there. Mike does say that it reminds him of the film “The Shining” – I think it was in it s way quite scary, but very beautiful to my eye.

He showed photographs of statues from 2000 years ago that still seemed ‘alive’ even in the photographs on his smart phone – in that their patina seemed to glow. He showed photographs of paintings and said how the artists used glazing in between every layer of paint and that this made the painting seem almost 3D. He showed photographs of art works hanging from the ceiling; a video of people or a person moving as an art work; Robert Crumbs’ work … much much else besides .. sculptures from a long time ago and more recent works. He showed a beautiful creation hanging from the ceiling on very thin wires, attached to which were objects, fashioned by tin foil (I might try something along those lines – play with tin foil).

There was a dramatic one of HUGE condoms filled with different coloured liquids hanging from the ceiling. Such imagination in all that I saw. I was reminded of a person’s recent comment on LinkedIn that the word ‘imagination’ is what it says it is – image innate. I thanked him for that via LinkedIn, because this is precisely what it is. And so clever too – innate image – of particular interest to me and my psychological bent (Jungian).

Well, it is not my intention to give a blow by blow breakdown of his many photographs and videos (besides which, he and his smart phone are now not here); I was struck by HIS experience and I had the pleasure of this and also, significantly, to have personally experienced art in many media albeit vicariously. I felt something pricking in me – it was an interesting feeling. I don’t know what to call it … an aliveness maybe, or a pricking of curiousity. And whenever curiousity is pricked or piqued, this is a bit of a wake-up call for the creative process to begin to manifest. I also thought of the long history of Europe and elsewhere and its artists … and of how it is valued. There is an awakening of creativity here in South Africa manifesting in so many ways … this too needs to be valued. It is I believe.

I read an article in the Business Section of the Sunday Times today in which the art therapist explained the value of using art as a form of therapy. She explained how this art form has no particular structure – the therapist observes whatever medium the person chooses and that person creates whatever their own inner process is. They may destroy their ‘creation’ thereafter – that too is significant. Materials are provided for the person to choose to use in whatever way. But something creative begins, no matter how haltingly or hesitatingly.

I know how hard it is for me to get the creative juices going. Especially when I have experienced a long drought which seems never-ending and is perfectly horrible and depressing. I like the quote by Oscar Wilde: ‘I spent the morning putting a comma in, and the afternoon taking it out’. But I think I feel the creative juices stirring –

This is much more else that I could say – but I am getting beyond myself already. Do comment if you wish – you should be able to hit the blue blog address below.

I should also mention that the LinkedIn debate is ongoing under the title of “The Psychology of Creativity”.

Susan Scott

Monday 23rd April 2012

We’re a small group of 4 women, Carly, Monika, Margaret and myself who meet (mostly) every alternate Saturday afternoon to study the Black Madonna. We started on ‘The Black Madonna’ by Fred Gustafson on the 8th Jan this year. We read from the book and discuss what we have read. Prior to starting this, we last year had read and studied ‘The Mystery of the Coniunctio: Alchemical Image of Individuation’ by Edward F. Edinger – a now deceased American Jungian Analyst. Rich pickings indeed. Inter alia, the significance of the opposites was much highlighted by using alchemical symbology – the philosopher’s task in extracting gold from base metal.

We decided on ‘The Black Madonna’ for various reasons. Monika has been interested in Lilith for many years. Her many paintings and etchings are about Lilith and her darkness and her relevance for today’s woman in that she represents the Dark Feminine, that aspect of ourselves with which we need to be in touch for individual and collective healing. Many of her paintings are large scale and very powerful oils showing Lilith’s darkness and all her attendant serpents with an understanding of the symbol of the serpent. I have written about Lilith and she is close to my heart. For Carly and Margaret, Lilith exerts her fascination. We thought we would start with the Black Madonna and try to determine her spiritual significance for us today and to see if we could link Lilith and the Black Madonna and learn more about the dark feminine.

There are indeed links … firstly, they are both archetypal figures, yet not that much is known about them. As some of you may know, Lilith, according to the Midrash, was the first wife of Adam in the Garden of Eden, who was expelled for her refusal to submit or be obedient to Adam. She does arise again (as the serpent) and presents her sister Eve with the apple which Eve took – and we know the consequences of that. But a positive and real way of viewing that is that she and Adam, though forced out of the Garden for their transgression, moved from unconsciousness towards consciousness into the real world, albeit one of duality, choice and free will. Heavy but necessary responsibilities.

Ean Begg, in his book, The Cult of the Black Virgin, finds that there about 400 Black Madonnas around the world and writes about the thousands of pilgrims who visit her shrine in Einsiedeln, Switzerland. These pilgrims find that their souls are in some way touched. To quote from Gustafson’s book in the introduction ‘…by an aspect of the feminine embodied by her yet not normally acknowledged. This darker aspect of the feminine has throughout history been both feared and sought after, both hated and admired…that seem to imagistically express their dark side of the feminine in a creative transformational manner for both the individual and the collective’.

I write about the dark feminine in my essay on Lilith in my book and the necessity of being in touch with those aspects for our wholeness, never wholly achieved perhaps; but each little bit of understanding of the dark feminine within each of us, man and woman, brings us closer to wholeness and healing, individually and collectively. The Black Madonna has her counterpart in Kali of India, Isis of Egypt, the Greek goddesses eg Artemis, Aphrodite, Demeter and Persephone and many others. These matriarchal myths had Mother Nature as their Supreme Goddess, and were replaced by worship of the monotheistic sun god Apollo who assumed ascent as the matriarchal goddesses began their descent.

The dark aspect of the Mother archetype needs recognition and integration – her light and dark polarities, her wildness and her conformity, her saint and sinner aspects, her giving and taking, the nurturing and the murderous aspects of her, her manic and depressive sides … For too long now we have been too one-sided about living … the forest and its darkness, the wilderness and all its shadows need exploring …

I could write more but this is enough for now.

Thursday 19th April

As someone said the other day, April is one of those months that seems to be neither one thing nor the other. I am trying to recall the exact words but I can’t remember what that person said. So I am just trying to get the sense of those words.

Yes, April is a rather ‘strange’ month. Here in the southern hemisphere it is a harbinger of winter. The autumn leaves are all over; some of the colours of the trees are rather lovely. The trees though are slowly starting to look a bit bare. My garden looks a bit tired, though there is still some colour in the flowers and the grass is still green. . Some of the flowers in the pot plants look a bit straggly. My Monday gardener Lowan (a Malawian) wants me to get 600 primulas for April planting and plenty compost. I am glad he reminded me .. as he said to me this past Monday, I will have to ask my bank manager for a loan. I always say to Lowan when he requests new plants, that I will have to ask my bank manager for a loan – it is always a costly exercise. I am not really glad he reminded me – because of the money outlay – but if I think about it, when I get back from Vietnam in early June, they will probably be flowering and a delight to the eye. So – I mustn’t complain.

The MNINB challenge is really quite something. I veer between hope and despair. Hope in that I can do some of the daily challenges, despair in that I am so green about so much. Hash tags?? But Robert Lee Brewer is evidently a kind and patient man and encouraging in every challenge. The comments made by those who meet the challenges and by those who don’t are always interesting and helpful.

Some other thoughts on April .. the month after March which held the equinox – seasons start to tip in the other direction. April is for me also the month before I set off for travels and the speed at which this month is going by, it will be here before I know it. Arrive back in Johannesburg in June which will mean that we are advancing towards the longest night and shortest day. And then 6 months of the year will be over…

So, mission accomplished. The blog for today done. But how to post it so that others doing it can see? Shall I twitter? FB? FB I am still a bit anxious about … I read something about pininterest today and it seems that using this may well infringe on privacy rights.

I attended art circle at Monika’s lovely home yesterday morning. It has been a long time since I last attended; sometime last year. It was so nice to re-meet the others and to meet Marita for the first time. Many of them are serious artists with their MA’s in Fine Art and continue to create on an ongoing basis. Monika herself is a most acclaimed and revered artist; she uses her dreams as her source of inspiration. She inspires us with her wise comments when works on display are criticized; others also comment and for me it always enlivening to come away from these meetings feeling and believing that I ‘saw’ more than I saw before in these works, or connected a bit better with others’ representations and I felt a little more in touch with my own inner processes. Valuable time indeed!All the works that were on display touched me on the level of psyche and it is this that I want to blog about today. The art works were representative of archetypal themes (The Great Mother inter a lia). > > > > > > Marita explained that she is attending an animation course and that she is a 60 yr old among 20-ish yr old students and the leader of the course is no more than 24 yrs old. > > > She photo-shopped a drawing that she did on a tablet (an unfamiliar term to a few of us). The painting she put up on the lectern showed a winged (wings of a bird) woman with claw like feet, and a lion. She said that some years ago she was at The British Museum and saw a Sumerian tablet that was about 5000 years old. It depicted the descent of Inanna into the underworld (or the Nether World) to meet her twin sister Ereshkigal down down down at the very bottom of this harrowing journey. Innana withdrew a piece of clothing at each gateway so that by the time she has descended to the ‘end’ (the 7th gate) she was naked, turned into a corpse and was hung upon a stake. She said that she knew that one day she would attempt to make her own art work about this as it spoke to her.This spoke to me too in that the symbolism is powerful and struck a chord in me – that descent into the underworld not knowing where it will lead. Innana contains all the opposites within her – vengeful and gener ous; love and rage; Sometimes one has to sacrifice one’s self in order to emerge from one’s own darkness. This myth is a great one – and is worthy of study. > > > > > > Marguerite’s painting of water based oils (I didn’t know there was such a something) on a large canvas, was fascinating. It showed feet descending from the top slightly towards the right hand side and touching a curve, which brought to my mind the feet of G.d touching the earth – heaven meeting the earth. For me it was very powerful. In the middle of the curvature were a pair of eyes – or so it seemed to me. Towards the bottom right hand side was the face of a woman with frog like eyes. Marguerite explained that in the Koi tradition frogs have a particular meaning and we discussed the symbolism of the frog. Many images came to my mind – eg the tadpole becoming a frog, like the butterfly emerging from its cocoon, fertility. There was also a hand emerging from the bottom right hand side that touched the centre of the earth which I liked so much … making real contact. On the left hand taking up about a third of the painting was a nude woman with her hands on her hips. I liked th is painting so much as it showed for me feminine strength in amongst the light and dark shadows. > > > > > > Anita’s lovely composition of shells, twigs, forest, stone, dark and light paint and the outline of a woman with an arm raised it seemed to me in a hailing gesture illustrated the shadow tracking the shadow-a very powerful psychological concept. Her eyes werebarely discernible but they were there – watchful, perhaps apprehensive. We had a good discussion about this. It brought home to me the shadow that we each contain within us, with which we need to become familiar if we are to become more whole, in the knowing of our darkness. The shadow tracking the shadow I thought was extremely clever and insightful. > > > > > > Diana’s models of rhino horns – there were 4 of them made from different substances, and were life size. The destruction of the rhino is very close to her heart as has been evidenced in paintings of hers I have seen in the past. They have been vivid, disturbing large scale pieces. These rhino horn facsimiles seen yesterday were works of art, made as they were from iron, glass, wool – and I forget what the 4th one was made from. She also presented two oil canvases of beetroot – those vivid colours with stems apparent. If I think back on these 2 canvases, the blood of the beetroot is synonymous with the bleeding agony of the rhino. > > > > Lastly, I believe that Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ was recently on auction somewhere … I caught a quick glimpse of a clip on TV. But the curator at the art gallery said how this painting spoke to the existential crisis of man and for him personally, when the sky became blood red as he was walking along, he felt inexplicably tired and anguished. I will look this up in due course, but my seeing this on TV as I did just recently, seemed synchronous with my own experience at ‘art circle’. > > > > Thank you to all at art circle .. > > > > My damp newspaper is still in process … I do not know quite what I will fashion with it. I will bring it along next time.

Saturday 14th April 2012.

I came home a few hours ago after attending Monika’s art circle at her home in Bryanston, my first attendance in a long while. It was so nice to see old friends and meet a new person. It was altogether lively and lovely, discussing inter alia a few art works that were presented by those who had brought their art works for criticism. I may comment later on a different and separate blog on those art works and what they expressed – for me – but for the moment just to say that the artworks were mostly to do with the descent into the unconscious; re-claiming the feminine; acknowledging the shadow, inter alia. I felt much enlivened when I left around midday.

When home, I had the pleasure of listening to a 9 minute audio on my computer by Michael Bernard Beckwith on ‘Breaking the Arrangement with Mediocrity’, courtesy of ‘Sounds True’ to which I subscribe. It was a wake-up call for me, speaking as he does about the status quo and how many of us get caught in it – I felt as if he was speaking to me. So I am blogging about this, this afternoon – do comment if you wish.

Mediocrity is like an insidious poison; it creeps silently like a snake in the night into one’s soul. Slowly, the status quo takes up permanent residence; my brain gets dulled; I feel enfeebled; I care less; I feel indifferent … I feel so stuck in this mediocrity and I have to wonder what my fear is towards getting out of it. That feeling of being stuck in the status quo is a feeling that I have experienced before (and written about) in my life – it is simply awful. I know that this is when I feel I have not a single creative spark in me. I feel deadened, dull, unable to move physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, in an agony of impotence, fearful of making the first step towards getting myself out of the quagmire. I feel as if I have struck a bargain with the Devil no less when I try to put those dismal thoughts aside and reach out for some comfort usually by way of food .. it is all so unconscious and I am so often quite unwilling to confront this in an honest way.

As Michael Bernard Beckwith says and as I see as valid and true, there is a collective tendency to mediocrity, evidenced in society on many levels. If I look at the ‘Shorter OED on Historical Principles’ definition of ‘mediocrity’, it says, inter alia (point 5) ‘the quality or condition of being mediocre. Now chiefly disparaging. 1588’. The word ‘mediocre’ is defined inter alia as ‘of middle height’ … ‘of middling quality, neither good nor bad; indifferent’. Carlyle is quoted: ‘It is thus that mediocre people seek to lower great men’.

This tendency of our society towards mediocrity has been punted before in the press and on the radio. We have a few lively independent radio and TV stations as well as the press – at the moment. It is always refreshing to realise that there is awareness of mediocrity in many levels of society; but awareness is one thing and action is another. We actually do put up with poor service, poor delivery, unsatisfying relationships, uncreative lives, ‘living small lives in our sheltered and comfortable boxes’ to paraphrase Michael Bernard Beckwith. It is almost a conspiracy to keep things stuck in the status quo – don’t rock my boat and I won’t rock yours. If you do, you will be alienated in some subtle way.

He contrasts this with the impulse towards the evolution and unfolding of our souls, the impulse towards excellence and our ‘…conscious participation in the evolutionary impulse that governs all creation’. And it is on this hopeful note that I want to end. Doing something ‘out of the box’ is a great step in moving away from from mediocrity and towards that spark of creativity within ourselves, which yearns for ever unfolding and boundless expression.

On my side, I have placed torn strips of old newspapers into a large bowl, dampened thoroughly with water – and I plan to make something out of this. I am not quite sure what .. I think I will have to make a flour paste or something and let the newspapers and goo harden – and then just see where my fingers take me in fashioning something. It will be my attempt at striking a blow towards my inner tendency to mediocrity.

http://www.gardenofedenblog.com – my personal blog

On Saturday 07 April 2012

Sat 7th April 2012…

Pesach and Easter – both occur over the weekend of the full moon. At the Council of Nicea in 325 AD it was agreed that both would be linked to the full moon on or following the vernal equinox (in the northern hemisphere) and thus would fall on any Sunday between 22 March and 22 April.

Chag Sameach to all of you – may it be a blessed time. And the same to all of you for Easter, may it be a blessed time.  Just some thoughts from me about Easter and Pesach.

I have undoubtedly bitten off more than I can chew but I do want to share a few things on this blog.  Someone on the radio recently, took exception to people saying ‘Happy Easter’. That person said it was not a happy time because of Christ’s death. There was a brief discussion – this was not the topic of conversation on the radio – but the anchor did say that it was also a time of redemption and renewal. He captured this very well in a few words. Pesach or the Passover has a different focus to Easter. Pesach is what it says .. a Passover.  Pesach is a time for ‘looking back to the going forward’, whereas Easter is inter alia a remembrance of Christ’s crucifixion and His resurrection.  Pesach commemorates the Exodus (Greek : going out; second book of the Bible) of the Israelites from Egypt who up until then had lived as slaves since the time of Joseph. Four hundred years after the end of Genesis, Moses leads the children of Israel to the land which God promised on oath to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. Moses and the Israelites had lived as slaves under the rule of Pharaoh and the Pharaoh refused to release them. God sends 10 plagues upon Egypt, the last of which was the slaying of the first born in any home. But, God told Moses, none of the Israelites would be killed – their homes would be passed-over. Pharaoh pleads with Moses to end the plagues and so lets the Israelites free. They flee their homes with unprepared and unleavened bread and also after slaying their lambs. The Pharaoh reneges on the deal and chases after the Israelites but Moses strikes the Red Sea which parts and the Pharaoh and his army are drowned. And as Joseph requested on his death-bed: Moses took the bones of Joseph with him for Joseph had surely sworn to the children of Israel, saying: God will surely remember you, and you shall carry my bones away with you.  -Exodus 13:19

This amazing story tells of the birth of Moses and the parting of the Red Sea under Moses, and their arrival at Mt. Sinai where Moses received the Ten Commandments. There is much much more by way of narrative to this story but it is not my aim to re-tell it. On their journey from Egypt to Israel, their hardships are great and many. My aim is rather to focus a bit on what this annual and very religious time means at least in terms of my (probable) limited understanding; and also in a way that has nothing to do with my being Jewish or non-Jewish. I like to think back and wonder what it all means in terms of me, today; and indeed the relevance for all of us today.  And indeed, it is curious is it not, that Easter and Pesach overlap … and for me it is, as I write this, a duty almost, to look briefly at the symbolism of these two events. Christ’s act of His descent into Hell after the crucifixion is the ultimate act of individuation. It is in preparation for His ascension into Heaven. The scriptures tell the story of Jesus and His life and they are beautiful beyond imagining. Every word, every setting, every moment is painfully poignant. They are also very challenging – to take in the words of the scriptures in a meaningful way, is to enter into the story and feel it. From all points of view, from every angle, I can’t help but see that the scriptures are very psychological indeed – they speak straight to the psyche. How can He not be celebrated, not least for sacrificing His own life that our sins be forgiven; but also for His unconditional love, His sympathy and empathy; His poetic justice; His showing us that the spirit alone is of value; His love for the sinner who repented … so for me the time of Easter is a remembrance of Jesus’ life and message. The Pesach means for me the end of slavery and finally reaching the Promised Land; it is a remembrance of the fulfilment of God’s promise that is joyfully celebrated. In terms of my world today, it is timely to remember freedom from slavery which can take many forms .. being a slave to lust, material wealth, being trapped in so many ways and looking to myself to try to discern where I am a slave or trapped in my complexes. Joy in the possibility of being free from all forms of slavery; pain in Christ’s death – yet also a fulfilment of God’s promise and joy in that too. Well, I think I have bitten off more than I can chew … both Moses and Jesus long dead but their message lives on. All best wishes, Susan

> Susan Scott > — > http://www.gardenofedenblog.com – my personal blog >

Sat 24th March

If any of you have visited my blog post in the last 2 weeks and seen nothing there then I can only apologise. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

It is strange perhaps, to consider *why* the procrastination … I speak for myself but I am coming to realise that it is oftentimes that which is most important to me, is the very thing that I do not attend to. The resistance on my side is great … the more important it is to me, the more I do not pay it its due or give it attention. It is almost a self-destructive act. Me against my own-self. Dear heavens.

I am so very keen to get a good blog going – one that serves me and serves you .. and there is a part of me that knows I have been procrastinating. Avoiding putting myself out there …

But procrastination has a purpose in some instances. It is like a cooking … a stewing … a simmering and a plotting and a planning even if a little haphazardly.. lying fallow for a bit and then a bit of a spurt of energy and writing some thoughts down and making other connections – but still resisting in some very real yet ineffable way.

The ‘why’ is always important. Sometimes the question is more important than the answer. The ‘why’ is always a philosophical question and as such is an endless debate, as it should be.

But it is the ‘what’ that is a question that needs to be answered first, before the ‘why’ … I have to ask myself *what *is the resistance to my getting a ‘good blog going’ and *what* does that resistance stand for … and then perhaps to seek the ‘why’ .. and attempt to get to the bottom of the complex for my own psychological health or health of my psyche asserting that this is task worth doing

Anyway, now I AM posting something. I want very much to get a serious blog going. Once a week. It is a task that I have set myself. It will be a two-fold possibly more approaches with a goal or goals in mind. It is a little too soon to explain any more at this stage. I have a lot of work to do in finding out EXACTLY how to go about this. I know nothing and don’t want to make unnecessary mistakes. I have quite a bit of useful info on my computer that I’ve received from various sources that I have not as yet looked at in any depth. I hope to collate all this information over the next several days and to use it professionally. I really hope that you will join me in this at a later stage …

I asked my son David if I could post something to my blog of his that I came across I think on his FaceBook as I thought his message and music was magical (and of course he is my son and I am proud of him …). He gave me permission so that is on my blog. I had such an interesting response to Davey’s ‘philosophical ramblings’ (that was the title he gave it) and music in an e mail from Gillian who lives in Durban. Gillian I would so like it if you would post what you said on this blog??

We are off to Plett tomorrow back next Saturday. This coming week will see me paying valuable attention to the construction of my blog and maybe web page – though I think the blog and web are already connected but I am not sure. Son Mike will help me this coming week …

I look forward to more soon.

My son David posted the below on his Facebook Wall the other day and this is what I am posting as my blog for today.

Philosophical Ramblings by Dave http://www.thekiffness.com/author/david on MARCH 10, 2012 in RANDOMNESS http://www.thekiffness.com/category/randomness

Was playing guitar today, and I had a random thought: what if I was playing a G, but then the guitar decided to play an F instead? Like it just decided it’s not gonna obey the laws of physics and just do it’s own thing. It would be flippen crazy! Or if you dropped a pen, but then it decided it’s not going to obey gravity today, and just hover in mid air. MADNESS!

Imagine a world where there was no uniformity, where everything could just do what it wants. Imagine you could say ‘hmmm, screw gravity, today I’m flying Peter Pan style to freakin Japan!’ It would be flippen kiff!

Although it would be awesome to say ‘screw it’ to gravity and fly to Japan, imagine if everything and anything could do likewise… Chaos! Next thing you know there’s a train flying into your face. Imagine you’re playing a concert in front of thousands of people and your guitar decides it’s just gonna play random notes. NOT KIFF MAN, NOT KIFF. You’d have to be like ‘Sorry guys! Seems that the Law of Frequencies is acting up again. You all have comps to my next show.’

And then I thought, wow – the universe is pretty good at sticking to the laws of physics. As far as I know, these laws of nature have stood us in pretty good stead. I can pretty safely say that I can make a sandwich without fear of the butter knife flying randomly into my eye ball.

So I think it’s pretty safe to say that I don’t have a say in whether a pen will float or not if I drop it. It’s going to fall. Gravity has determined that already. But what I think is really interesting is that I DO have a say in what I say and do and that’s pretty awesome. I can choose to lie, or I can choose to tell the truth. I can choose what music I feel like making, or what sandwich I want to make. There’s no law called ‘The Law of Dave will eat a peanut butter sandwich on Saturday’. Screw that! I’m eating a strawberry jam sandwich today.

I do somehow feel that there is another law – a law of the heart, or a law of the spirit that we’re *meant* to follow. I think CS Lewis calls it ‘The Moral Law’. The difference is, we get to CHOOSE if we want to obey it or not! CRAZY! Although, it doesn’t seem so crazy, because people disobey ‘The Moral Law’ so often that it seems normal. What makes me so sure of this?

Well, the proof is in the pudding! The world is in freakin chaos! We might not have trains flying into our faces at random, but I think we can agree that there’s a lot of spiritual, mental, emotional chaos in the world today, and I think it’s as a result of people ‘breaking’ the laws of morality. And then I thought, wow – we’re pretty good at NOT sticking to the laws of morality.

I like to kiss random girls, I like to get drunk, I like looking at naked ladies, I like feeling really important, I like to talk behind peoples backs. I think part of me likes these things because they don’t stick to the laws of morality, in the same way I’d like to fly to Japan because it would disobey the laws of gravity. And then I wonder why my life’s a mess. It’s kiff for a while to ‘disobey’, but I know for a fact that it will come back to hit me in the face like a train that doesn’t want to obey gravity.

I really enjoy what the Bible says. Jeremiah 31:33 tunes that God will put His law in our minds and write it on our hearts. I think it’s so true because you don’t need to tell someone when they’re doing something wrong – they’ll already know it. You can tell by how people always try to cover something up if they’ve done something wrong, or how they’re unashamed if they’ve done something good. In Romans 8:2 it says that through the law of Jesus, the Spirit of life will set you free.

I could carry on but this post is already getting a bit long.

Thanks for reading!

Listen to this song I made to contemplate what you’ve just read.

(David’s song ‘Beatitude’ can be accessed by http://www.thekiffness.com/2012/philosophical-ramblings).