There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you. 

    Maya Angelou

 Now is powerful and loaded, heavy with the limit of the day and yet contains a fullness with its possibilities. Now is ripe. It is juicy. You can feel it to the bone.

 And, while it should be easy to stay in the now, it is not so. Being present is so very difficult. The now requires being in touch with the truths of our nature, living like the animals and in the moment of the current need, desire, want, fulfillment. Compulsions, drives, ego satisfactions are actions that often take us out of the now. Striving for outer achievements, hiding real desires, doing it for adulation, money or just to be perfect do so as well. (and thus take us out of the now)

 The word ‘no’ narrows the world. The stress of not living or living in a state of nothingness and the unnatural, plague us too often and then fill up the now. The no to the present moment usually is based on some past upsets or future anticipations and these erase the present. Then, all feelings are vanished.

 The ‘no’ to now implies conflict and can lead to numbing, behaviours of denial and distress, and essentially cause an avoidance of being. We lose the ability to note the need of the present day or the psyche, or the need of personal fulfillment. ‘No’ too often arises from fear and transposes into a deprivation artificially imposed. It is not a matter of merely saying yes but understanding more about what is going on beyond the limits imposed by ‘no’. This means getting into the complexities of the now.

Yet, to get there we go through what is called the stage of the nigredo, an alchemical term denoting the darkness, the shadow, the mud and the promises held within that we do not see – yet. It might feel nightmarish to confront this darkness. We back away. Yet at the same time we are faced with the task of going through anyhow. These are now moments that contain what we fear or do not want, the spooks in the nightmares that knock on our psyche and want our attention. These jolt us out of numbness and lack of reaction. They catapult us into life. We need the shocks to become awake to the time we have that is the now.

 Reminds me of walking the mud on Mt. Kilimanjaro. This was a physical nigredo, the dark of the earth while traversed in actuality but also within the psyche. It seemed impossible. This was a going down, sliding in the mud, not able to find a footing, unsteady and yet having to negotiate all the unease, unsteady and unsupported except by an inner something that would guide down the path. This can parallel the time of aging for some women, the unsteady, uneven sometimes on our feet, the plowing through step by slow step as the only way to do it, no rushing, feeling each moment and having the pleasure or the forced necessity of being so present that otherwise our footing is lost.

 We are no longer run by something, as and if we are present to it. We can identify through the being conscious of the now. What a relief to be in the moment that clarifies the needs of psyche and soul.

Do you appreciate the now?

38 comments on “N – Now”

  1. “Compulsions, drives, ego satisfactions are actions that often take us out of the now.” And cause suffering. I could reply to every deeply thought-provoking sentence in this post, Susan. Wise and enlightening, indeed. Your commitment and willingness to climb Kilimanjaro, and the actual experience, is certainly a grand metaphor.

  2. Beautiful. The “no” to the now – akin to all of the “shoulds” I’ve listened to in my life – but more eloquently put. I finally got to the point in my life where if it starts in my mind as “I should” do … it gets crossed off the list.

    • Those ‘shoulds’ – I agree Stephanie, to be crossed out. There are other more meaningful ways to access the ‘now’ moments. Interesting that ‘now’ also includes the ‘no’ and by re-arranging the words of ‘now’ we get ‘own’ .. own your now. Thank you for your comment.

    • Listen to it Beth and try to hear what it is saying – there will something in that for you to decipher – and overcome. Hard work for sure –

  3. hi ya love your posts, will get thru them all very interesting…funny my M word was going to be moon ( but lots on my plate) and couldn’t even get M because I was trying to do something
    with the eclipse. hope you will stop by my little place

  4. That is one of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes. I try to appreciate the Now because it is truly all we have at the moment. It is easy to get stuck in the past or get focused on the future, but when that happens we miss the gift of the now. It brings Jim Elliot’s quote to mind: “Wherever you are, be all there.”
    Thanks for stopping my blog today, come back and visit again.

    Mary @ The View from my World

  5. Now … what a difficult place to stay in. It’s so easy to leap forward to the future – what I want, what I’m planning, what I need to do or drift back to the past – what I should have done, what I should have said – instead of appreciating the moment of NOW, the moment that cannot be replaced or relived.
    Thanks for a great blog!

  6. Thank you Patricia – each moment and hour, day and week is so precious. We can give thanks for past moments, and refresh in the present moment.

  7. Hi,
    I love this post Susan, because what you have written about the “now” is so true. Too many of us are living in the past or somewhere in the future and we forget to live the present moment, and that is sad.
    Thank you.

    • Thank you Patricia – each moment and hour, day and week is so precious. We can give thanks for past moments, and refresh in the present moment.

    • They’re all there Jolie, past informing the present, present informing the future. Staying in the moment is difficult but not impossible when all crowd in. Thank you for stopping by.

  8. Boy, this is a fabulous post as for me, it puts staying in the “now” in perspective. It seems I slip all over the place. Plus, I have to deal with the past to understand the “now.” I try not to think of the future as it scares me too much. Your post so defines life. Thank you!!

  9. Great post, Susan. Yes, I appreciate the power of now, try to live in it as much as possible, without the baggage of yesterday, or too much of tomorrow, although both are important, but the Now is very short and must make the best of it while we can. 🙂

  10. Lots of great “N”s in this post, thank you! I try hard to live in the moment as it’s the best place to be. Sometimes though it’s hard not to focus on the past or future, but I’m trying now to do this in a positive way. Our thoughts today can change how we feel about what’s already happened, or is yet to be 🙂

  11. I do appreciate the Now. It’s all I have. If I think about the past, I have to do it Now. If I think about the future, I have to do it Now. I am living the Now……oops…..just lost it to the past. If we stay focused on the Now, it is to enjoy every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month, every year of our lives. Onward and upward!

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